“Get this traitor out of my sight, will you? Place him in any of the cells. I’m going to make plans for future additions to our livestock.” He begins muttering as he walks away toward the table holding his spell books and parchments.
“I would love the opportunity to further prove myself to you, Uncle. Please allow me to lead the guard over the prisoner,” I request. Being in charge of the guards down here will help me figure out how to help this man escape, and also gain me access to him without suspicion.
Silas waves his hand back at me without turning to look. “Do as I said, Marcellus, I’ll think about your proposal.” I suppose that’s the most I could ask for.
∞∞∞
The bed sinks under my weight, muscles relaxing into the comfort it offers. I’m exhausted, emotionally and physically drained. Burying my face into the bedding, my nose searches for her scent that has long dissipated from the cloth surrounding me. Even though it’s no longer there, I can still smell it. The comfort it offers surrounds me in a hug I haven’t felt in a year.
Most nights I sleep in her bed trying to gain the impression of being close to her when I’m unable to visit her body safely hidden away. Maybe I should just move into this room permanently, I just don’t want my things to disrupt my memory of this being her space.
My eyes flutter closed, no longer able to fight off the call of sleep. Relaxing, my muscles let go of all the pent up stress. I hope for the thousandth time today that I haven’t sentenced the prisoner to a worse fate than he faced in the first place. One moment my weight is cradled by the bed, the next I’m floating free in the wind.
Can’t say I’ve ever had a lucid dream, but that’s what’s happening now. I’m some sort of flying form floating over the terrain below me. I may be lucid, but I find myself unable to control any aspect of my form, forced to be along for the ride of wherever the dream decides to take me. Mere moments pass before I’m joining someone else.
The moment I feel her, I know it’s my Cecily’s soul. There isn’t really a form I can see, it’s more an intuition of what and who she is. This isn’t quite the way I want her back, but there’s a lightness to my soul being with her again. She feels confused as to what’s going on, like she’s just now coming out of a fog.
Unexpectedly, we’re thrust into a world painted red, there’s a battle ensuing all around us. An arrow is sailing through the air right toward me. My form still won’t respond to any of my commands, thankfully the arrow sails right through me and a grunt sounds from behind me before a thud. Quickly, I realize the battle is between two Indian tribes. One is the Blackfoot tribe that I’ve spent so much time observing, the other tribe I’ve never seen before.
Unlike in person, I can detect all of Cecily’s emotions washing over me as if we’re connected by a bond stronger than any regular connection we could’ve made, had she not shared her memories the way she did. She’s bombarded by all types of emotions, torn between the joy of seeing the tribe that means so much to her, and the betrayal I made her feel with the memory of the adventure I took her on.I’m sorry, my love, you’ll know the truth someday.
The smell of death is in the air, blood having spilled from both sides. She pushes all thoughts of me away, choosing to focus on trying to help the Blackfoot tribe to win the battle they’re engaged in. Casting a few spells which don’t work, she finally finds one that does. Any non-Blackfoot Indian begins to lose their grip on the weapons in their hands. As soon as the Blackfoot weapon clashes against another, the weapon ends up slipping from the owner’s hands. This ensures the Blackfoot tribe quickly gains the upper hand.
Before we’re able to see the fruits of her interference, we’re being blown to a new location. Cecily is filled with frustration at not being able to control where she’s going or what movements she makes. I don’t care about any of it. I’m just happy to be here with her, knowing she’s alive and conscious in some form.
Strength for figuring out a way to help her is renewed. She’s here... Alive. And I’ll never give up on her!
My body gains rejuvenation each night while I sleep as my soul leaves to join hers. Nothing will be able to keep me from joining her. If I could sleep my life away to be with her constantly, I would. The only thing stopping me is my desire to wake her up so she can live the life she wants and is needed for once again.
She thinks she’s alone in her own little world while in soul form. I wish I could tell her she isn’t, I’m always here with her, even if she can’t see me or hear my replies to her rambling thoughts.
Chapter 16
Marcus
Present
Her pain is a direct response to something she thinks I caused, and yet here I sit in stunned silence. Seeing myself lead an attack on a peaceful village... never would I ever be provoked into doing such a thing. In all of my military stints, I’ve always been one to question my orders before attacking, making sure it was warranted before taking such actions.
My mate’s sobs feel like death by a thousand cuts against my soul. I should be the one comforting her, but no, I sit here like a fucking pussy allowing Alex to do it in his wolf form like the lovesick puppy he is. Gah, licking her face to get her to laugh... and it actually works! Only Alex could get away with something like that.
From the very first moment I saw her, it was like a missing piece of myself coming home, sliding into place, filling a gaping hole within the deepest depths of my being. I’ve wanted nothing more than to show her my devotion, to build from the foundation I know is already there. Every time I attempt to get close to her, it’s like I can’t get anything right. I speak with the best intentions to somehow say the right things to get her to soften toward me, but the tone and words coming out are the exact opposite of what I mean them to be. The moment she opens her mouth, she sets my blood boiling, and it’s all because she won’t accept me as hers.
Her constant rejection of me is gutting. I know I’ve never met her, and yet she holds some kind of grudge as if we have. Am I crazy? To have seen proof of my face with a sword drawn ready to attack innocents? How am I supposed to convince her it isn’t me when my own friends are giving me the side eye?
It’s like she’s trying to punish me for something I didn’t even do. I’m torn between wanting to be the punching bag she needs, and the desire to gain her trust and love. Shit, I can’t watch Alex taking over something I should be doing. I command my body to shift into my human form. Ripping open the pouch around my neck, I yank a set of clothes out dressing as quickly as I can. I’m not stupid enough to try touching her without clothes on.
I don’t waste a moment once I’m dressed, and shove Alex away from my mate. She’s no longer crying, but her eyes still hold hints of the pain she’s experiencing. Kneeling in front of her, I hold her face between my hands and place my forehead on hers. For a split second, she leans into my touch, letting out a sigh.
It’s the best second of my life, lifting my heart until it’s soaring in the clouds. That’s up until it comes crashing down, when she realizes she hates me and pounds her fists against my chest. “It’s okay, Babe, I can take it. Let it all out.” She expels a shrill scream, but says nothing as she continues to pound against my chest.
Finally getting it all out, she starts to cry again as she crumples into my chest, allowing me to wrap my arms around her. The guys hover over my shoulder until I wave them off and speak into their minds,“We both need this right now. I know you all want to be here for her, but you need to back off for a moment.”
They give us a little more space, but stay close enough to be within hearing range if she calls out for them. Holding her head against my chest, I run my hand through her hair trying to calm her down, while allowing her to get all the emotions out of her system. It’s clear she’s been bottling up a lot since she woke up, wanting to appear strong in front of a bunch of strangers.
“Was that your home?” I ask her, wanting to start off a conversation, but not knowing exactly what would make a good icebreaker. She nods her head without saying anything. “I know it looked like me leading the attack, but I promise you it wasn’t. There isn’t a single thing under this sun that could make me attack innocents, much less do something to cause you pain.”
She gives a whimper and nuzzles closer to me, an action I’m certain she’s unaware of. “You just don’t remember, Marcellus, it’s been wiped from your memory. Everything about me has been blocked from you remembering.” Exhaustion is threaded through her voice, and I can’t help but hope some of her exhaustion is from constantly fighting the pull between us. It can’t just be me who feels it.
