Security anticipated the surging fans, holding their arms up to stop them from moving. It’s a complete circus now; I can only imagine what it’d be like if they announced when and where we’d be in public.
When I’m free of the SUV, I turn and offer my hand to Raina. In the time I had my back turned, she put on an oversized pair of sunglasses. She smiles at me, but it seems more forced than the one I normally get from her. It doesn’t take a genius to know why. It’s been all of five seconds, and I’m feeling the pressure of knowing I’m being watched.
Her hand slides into mine, and I close my fingers around her, squeezing to give her some kind of solidarity. Nash comes around the back side of the SUV and Keaton leaves the front seat. “Where to?” I ask, dropping her hand, I know how important her image is to her. I don’t want to start any rumors; she’s already had to deal with enough.
“We should probably check the bus first before heading inside. Has anyone heard from Tristan today?” Raina asks, looking over her shoulder at us.
“Haven’t heard from that bastard since we walked off stage.” Nash’s voice matches how I feel about Tristan right now. It drips with scorn and disgust. “He’s dead to me after what he did to you.”
Raina stops in her tracks and turns around with panic in her eyes, yet no other emotion shows on her face. She’s perfected keeping her feelings from manifesting where others can see them. I’m not even sure how I know it’s panic in her eyes, yet I do. Shit. Now that I think of it, it’s the same look I get whenever a girl sees—
“Forkenshirtbells, this isn’t the time for this conversation, but I can’t let you think that way about him. You misunderstood the situation and…” Her gaze darts to the crowd still chanting her name. “Let’s get on Thunderstruck.” Her pace picks up from what it was before, leaving us slightly stunned as she makes her way to the rundown bus.
“Did she really just string together non curse words…” Nash trails off, trying to piece together what happened.
“As a way to keep people from reading her lips?” I finish for him, giving my reasoning. But she’s so…Rainaat times, who knows.
“Move,” Keaton growls, nudging us both to keep following her. We quickly close the distance and climb into the over-used bus. I can’t believe it hasn’t been retired yet. Or perhaps it was,and they brought it back simply to fuck with Raina. I don’t understand why her label works so hard to ostracize her.
The moment the door clicks shut behind us, she turns and presses a hand to her stomach. I swear there’s a slight greenish hue to her face, making me inspect the area behind her, expecting to find a gruesome scene.
“I’m so sorry,” she starts, her fingers threading together where they twist back and forth nervously. Her eyes start to water and every muscle in my body urges me to comfort her, but I know she needs to get out whatever it is before I do. “I feel so guilty I haven’t had a chance to set the record straight yet, but I was so triggered after it happened, and then we were traveling all day yesterday, then the bullshit with the show and—”
“Baby girl,” Nash says, cutting her off with his hand held up. “You’re rambling. Spit it out.” He licks at his lip ring, making both mine and her eyes dart there. Knowing he has her attention, he gives her an encouraging smile.
“Tristan wasn’t doing anything I didn’t want. Well, at least not until the things he was saying sent me into the past.”
Keaton snarls, his body going tense.
“Don’t worry, big guy. In a different context, if I’d had a different past, then it would’ve been almost romantic. He wasn’t trying to hurt me. But I started having flashbacks and couldn’t fight it any longer when he bit my nipple.”
Nash sucks a breath through his teeth. She must’ve shared with him about that being a trigger like she did with me yesterday. Her cheeks heat like she’s embarrassed to be sharing the details with us, and her hands come up to rub at them, bumping into the rim of her sunglasses. She takes them off and eyes the couch like she’s contemplating sitting, but thinks better of it with a quick disgusted scrunch of her face.
“You walked in as I told him to stop, and he did. Right away.” Her gaze lands on Keaton, her eyes softening. “I know you heardme scream and jumped into action. And I appreciate so much having someone in my life willing to do that. But please don’t think Tristan raped me. He forgot I’m not the same girl who was his best friend five years ago and treated me like I’m her. He fucked up, but not nearly as bad as you thought.”
A buzzing sound starts in my ears, becoming louder and louder as the seconds tick by. I’m usually so good at catching all the little things that others miss. I’m the one who’s spent years pushing others away and learning to become a wallflower so I can figure out the intentions of those around me. Studying them until I could read body language well enough to see what they keep hidden.
How did I not realize Tristan had stopped, much less how he and Raina have been acting since yesterday? It’s so clear to me now, but why couldn’t I see it before?
The sudden sound of wood breaking makes Raina jump. She moves for Keaton and his broken stick, but he’s already out the door before she makes it a step. A cold slap of air hits us across the face in his wake.
“Fuck,” Nash whispers under his breath. His fingers cover his lips as his thumb tucks under his jaw. I understand that unexpected pit opening in his stomach, I’m feeling it too.
The truth abruptly hits me. We jumped to the worst conclusions about our best friend, all because he was acting like the biggest royal asshole toward our girl. He wanted to go to the farthest reaches possible to ruin her life. Why wouldn’t we think he’d snap and… rape her? The words paired with her pain riddled soul make me nauseated.
We wereso wrong, but he made it easy to think the worst with how he’s been acting. All the signs were there. He was blinded by rage attacking her, hurting her in ways that no friend should ever do. For fuck’s sake, he violently ripped her shirt off one day.
He hasn’t been the same guy since this all started, it’s not that much of a stretch to think he’d snap suddenly, but at the same time it’s a huge fucking stretch. He’s not that person, he’d never do something that despicable.
I’m the worst goddamn friend alive.
“Should I?” Raina points to the door Keaton left through.
“Leave him be, roomie. He needs a moment. By the time we walk out there, he’ll be okay.” Nash snags his arm around her waist. She gives him a questioning look before wrapping her arms around him in an embrace. He nuzzles his head into the crook of her neck, and after a second she sinks into him.
Raina runs her fingers through his auburn hair. The motion is soothing to watch, I can only imagine what it’s like to be the one receiving it. “What’s up, Nashy?”
He squeezes her tighter, reveling in the comfort of her embrace.Lucky bastard.“I feel like I betrayed my best friend,” he mumbles into her neck. The words are barely audible, but I still pick up on the ache he’s feeling. It’s a mirror image of what I’m going through.
