His words tumble through my mind on repeat, a constant somersault that no Olympic gymnast could even think of competing against.
My fingers tighten around the notepad, the paper crinkling under my grip. Emotions continue to swirl within me, a storm building, becoming stronger until it’s threatening to break free. The idea that someone could value me beyond my voice—something I had thought defined my entire existence—rattles my already fragile sense of reality.
“Do you mean it?”The words appear on the page before I fully realize I’m writing them.
Darius reaches for the notepad and reads it quickly, his expression softening. I might not have specified what I meant, but he knows without me having to. “Every word,” he replies earnestly, his gaze locking with mine in a silent vow of sincerity.
A flutter in my stomach twitches, becoming stronger by the second. My gaze traces over his features, drinking them in greedily. He wants to be mine. And some deep part of me wants it too. It’s the admitting it part that has me so hesitant. What would that mean?
Tranquillity stretches between us, thick and loaded with unspoken thoughts and fears. The crashing waves outside can be heard faintly in the background, a reminder of the world moving forward outside this room, outside this moment.
The bubble blocking out the world around us is becoming thinner by the second, threatening to pop before anything is really resolved.
“Can’t promise it will be easy,” he continues, breaking through the hushed tension. “And I won’t pretend there won’t be challenges or that everyone will understand. But Raina, we can get through anything together. All of us.”
I hadn’t brought it up before, but my guys, the rest of our band members, were sitting in the back of my mind. It’s worked so far because they’re best friends. Dare is an outsider as far as they’re concerned. Could they ever accept him? Is there a chance Darius Thompson will be mine?
The soft sound of a knock travels through the closed door to my bedroom, breaking off my thoughts. It’s probably for the best; they weren’t leading anywhere good.
Without thinking, my mouth opens to call out to whoever it is, but I stop myself short. Fear streaks through me at the thought of using my voice, even if I’m at the point where I should be able to use it again.
One more day until I see my doctor. One more day until I find out if my future has been forever changed.
But hasn’t it already been altered?
“Come in,” Dare calls after catching my mouth hanging open stupidly.
The door slowly swings open, revealing Keaton. My giant, broody drummer gives me an unsure smile before stepping in and unveiling Nash, Blake, and Tristan behind him. They all share similar expressions, varying degrees of rejection over my spiraling depression dragging me down since we got home. I know I was unfair to them, and to their credit, they did their bestto rescue me from it. But sometimes a girl needs to be in her feels for a little while and battle out of it herself. Sometimes you need to be your own knight in shining armor to defeat the dragon.
As much as I wish I could say my dragon is slain, I can’t. But it’s at least wounded right now, I’m doing my best to beat him down… That’s progress, right?
“We need to talk,” Keaton says, coming up to the side of my bed. He doesn’t even hesitate in sitting beside me, making me scoot to the side to avoid being squished.
I guess they aren’t even willing to entertain the notion of me saying no. Not that I would after the talk with Dare. I’ve been keeping them at a distance, but maybe it’s time to let them in, even if I’m terrified to find out that they won’t love me anymore if I can’t sing.
“Jesus, Keaton. Ask her how she’s doing first,” Nash admonishes, shaking his head. “How are you doing, roomie?”
“Didn’t you ask her that earlier when she sent you from the room?” Blake questions. He crosses his arms over his chest, his legs spread in a stance that says he won’t be leaving for a while, no matter what I demand. It’s a challenge.
The bed dips as Nash joins us on the end of the bed. He tosses a scowl over his shoulder. “Just because we refuse to leave doesn’t mean we can’t be smooth about refusing.”
“You know Keaton is always straight to the point, why are you trying to change him?” Blake throws back.
“Standing up for how our girl should be treated isn’t wrong. It’s a group effort to get things right.” A mischievous smile spreads across Nash’s face, his eyes getting that gleam to them I love. “Isn’t that right, Blake? Maybe we should practice a little more on our teamwork.” He wiggles his eyebrows, and Blake’s face gets an adorable red hue to it.
I wouldn’t be surprised if there isn’t a blush heating my cheeks too. My thighs twitch, wanting to clench together to smotherthe heat growing between them, something I haven’t felt since before I was attacked. I didn’t realize I missed being intimate with them until now.
A sound draws my attention to the doorway. It’s a mix of a self depreciating scoff and a laugh. At least that’s my best guess. In either case, I find Tris standing there, his head angled to the floor where he shakes it. “Nice to know some things never change.”
My heart thumps in my chest at the sight of him. The bruising has mostly healed on his face, only slight yellowing in a few places, but he’s standing oddly, like he’s trying to protect his side even though there’s no threat.What happened to him? Where was he all that time?
I’m not sure why I’ve been keeping him at a distance. When he showed up at the show, the crowd chanting his name and drawing my attention to him… a part of my soul that was missing came back. Which is stupid as fuck after the way he treated me, but I guess we can’t demand our hearts to listen to reason. I was so freaking happy to have him back.
Thinking about it, I realize that I was running to him when I was attacked. Maybe some unreasonable part of me blames him for everything that happened. If he hadn’t disappeared, I wouldn’t have been rushing to get to him, I wouldn’t have left the others behind and I wouldn’t have been alone in that hallway.
My rational side knows it wasn’t his fault. Not even a little bit. But the vulnerable side that was terrified out of my mind, that died and woke up forever changed... Yeah… she kinda blames him. Maybe even blames all of them because they weren’t there. Everyone but Dare who brought me back.
“Peaches, give me some more room. I’m hanging off the side,” Keaton grumbles, pulling me from my thoughts. I glance to my side and gauge how much space there’s left between meand Dare, not wanting to cuddle up to his side with everyone watching me. I’m not sure how they’d react.
