It never really occurred to me, but I think she’s right. At least for me, as I can’t speak for the others. We needed to leave the place where so many terrible memories lived. Starting new has been great for us.
“It still feels like this is all a dream,” she comments, reaching out a hand to touch some blossoms that we pass.
“How so?” I want to tell her it’s not a dream. It’s the life she rebuilt with her bare hands. This label, this mountain, this peace—she earned every bit of it.
“Just how quickly everything seems to be coming together. All the financing Izzy was able to help us get, and finding a new home with such an amazing view that can double as the low intensity setting for hosting other artists once we get things established. Not to mention how quickly we found it.” She gives a happy sigh. “Like I said, it still feels like a dream.”
“Yeah,” I murmur, nodding my head. “Every day with you is a dream.”
“Oh god,” she gasps. “Getting all sappy on me now, Tris?” She nudges me with her elbow, teasing.
Before I can say anything else, we reach the terrace table where Darius is setting tableware and Nash is dropping off a plate of eggs. Blake stands next to Keaton at the flattop grill. He holds an empty plate ready for the golden pancakes that dot the top.
“Just in time,” Nash says, wrapping his arm around Lexi and pressing a kiss to her cheek. She smiles at him, but I’m distracted by the fact she hasn’t let go of me.
“Sit,” Keaton commands, coming up to the table with Blake.
Nash rubs his hands together. “Family breakfast time!”
The word family hangs in the air longer than the steam rising from the food. None of us says it, but I know we’re all thinking the same thing… somehow, against every odd, we built this.Every scar, every song, every sunrise led us here. And I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
Usually, I’m not one to be plagued with sleepless nights, but ever since Raina’s attack… every time I close my eyes all I see is her lifeless form on the ground and her attacker getting away.
It leaves me restless, and the only way I can sleep is if I exhaust myself. If it’s not my night with Raina, I usually do it one of two ways: hitting the gym or hitting the kit. Either way, I end up exhausting myself in a puddle of sweat until I’m ready to crash into bed.
Fisting my sticks, I leave my room, navigating the hallways that are slowly becoming familiar. There’s always an eeriness in a new house, like it holds its breath once the sun goes down. And this one is no different.
I know the others are either asleep or in their rooms, blue light bleeding out from under their doorways. If you listen hard enough, you can always tell who’s fighting to stay awake and who surrendered hours ago. Thankfully, tonight isn’t one filled with moans coming from the other side of Raina’s door. Nothing is more frustrating than working the kick pedal with blue balls.
I take a moment to appreciate that the music room is soundproof. It’s a necessity for recording, but an added bonus for anyone who’d have to put up with listening to me rain down my nightmares on the instrument.
Closing the door behind me, it’s like a sensory deprivation chamber, a vault for noise, a padded cell for whatever needs to get hammered out at two in the morning. I sit behind my kit, alone in the glow of the overhead lamp, and work through a groove I can’t get out of my head. Something slow, heavy in the low toms, with just enough swing to keep it from sinking. Each beat thuds out, a dull ache softened by the foam and the thick velvet curtains lining the walls.
I’m halfway through the pattern when I feel it. A presence watching me. I glance up and find Raina framed in the doorway, hair hanging loose and wild, sweatshirt sliding off one shoulder, and bare feet. She looks absolutely at home, and unbelievably delicious.
She hesitates before coming in. For a second, her silhouette wavers, one hand gripping the doorframe so tight her knuckles turn white. She shifts her weight, like she doesn’t want to bother me and she’s considering turning around and disappearing back into the night.
As much as I want to drag her in here to simply be with me, I wait, letting her make the decision. She needs to realize for herself she’ll never be an interruption.
She bites her lower lip and takes a step forward.
I keep playing, but softer now. The sticks barely whisper across the snare. Raina crosses the room until she’s wrapping her arms around my neck, giving me a hug.
“Hey, big guy.” I close my eyes as she presses a soft kiss to my cheek. “What are you doing up?”
I turn my face to her and raise an eyebrow. “Couldn’t sleep.”
“Again?” she asks, her breath feathering down my neck.
Pausing my drumming, I turn to fully look at her. “What do you mean again?”
She moves to stand behind me, her hands moving to my shoulders and her thumbs working at the tight muscles. “This isn’t the first time I’ve caught you battling your demons in the middle of the night. I thought I’d give you space to work them out and to come to me when you were ready, but you caught me tonight.”
Ah, so that’s why she hesitated at the door. Makes more sense now. I lean my head back against her stomach, relaxing into her touch. Even with my eyes shut, I pick up the rhythm I was tapping out before. “It’s nothing, Peaches. No need to worry yourself.”
“I love you, Keaton. It’s not nothing to me.” Even with my eyes closed, I can picture the eye roll she has saying that.
Letting out a sigh, I steel myself to give her the answer she’s wanting. I hate having to give it to her. She shouldn’t have to think about that night.
