Elkhana
I’ve lost him.
I knew I would if I gave him a choice.
I had meant to trick him – meant to make him think that my salvation was the only way to achieve his ends. I had meant to disguise from him that we’re but a step away from married and to tempt him into that last step, freeing myself from this cage.
But, at the last moment, I could not do it. Especially not after I saw the vision with him.
What is love if it is not filled with truth? I love this strange fae lord. I have seen his depths and his strivings. I have seen his aching heart and his kindnesses, and I know I want what is good for him. I want what is best. And so instead of tricking him, I bared the truth to him, naked, without barb or trick.
He knows now. He knows he could have been led and tricked and what the end would bear. We both saw him lying on these rocks, dead. He knows how to avoid it.
And I’ve lost him.
I felt him pull away the second he realized what bonds tie us together.
He’s half married to me. He gave me food and the freedom of the bird and his snake ring to wear. He gave me the bee that held his stinging kiss – and all that remains is that he give me his heart. And that he will not do. And I showed him why he must not.
Because if he tries to finish this marriage and steal me away from my fate in this cage, it will end in his death. I showed it to him – even when he didn’t want to see, even when he struggled against my grip on him.
And though I’ve lost him, it’s the best thing for him. He never should have been mine to begin with – not even in this small way. Now he knows that. Now, he can fly free. I couldn’t free him from his people like I’d hoped, but at least I can free him from me. It’s the best I can do.
It will have to be enough.
He’s a clever man. He’ll find his own way free of his kin. He’s a good man. But what if he’s too good and he chooses to come back here anyway? I hadn’t thought of that and now it’s eating away at me, filling my mouth and nose just like my mayflies until I can hardly breathe. What if he’stoogood a man?
