“I release you from any vows you made. Any and all promises made to me,” she says roughly.
“None but the God can release me,” I growl, annoyed. What is this?
“Then ask him to release you!” She turns to me abruptly, her face taut with vexation.
I rock back on my heels, surprised. “Why would I ask that?” I say, my voice barely above a whisper.
She’s glorious and deadly, powerful and potent. I want to be in her presence forever.
She scoffs. “Why? You have barely looked at me since we were drawn out of the sea. Adalbrand, you fool of a man.” She runs a hand over her face. “Your heart is not with me, so don’t let your honor force you to dog my steps. I’ll be no one’s duty.”
Her chin is high and trembling and her eyes are liquid.
Oh.
Wait.
I step around the fire briskly, and catch her by the waist with both hands, driving her back a step.
“Are you saying my distance offends you? Do you want me yet, Lady Paladin?” I ask her hoarsely. The words tumble from my mouth as if a dam has opened. “Are you still mine? Even now? Even after you’ve seen me possessed by demons? Even after you’ve seen me commit black murder?”
“Of course I want you, Adalbrand.” She sounds like she’s on the verge of tears. “It’s not me who has been cold and distant since we left the ocean.”
“I healed your dog,” I say numbly. “I brought him back from death.”
“Thank you.” She does not sound like she’s thanking me. She sounds like she’s slamming a door on me.
“It was your turn to speak,” I say stupidly. “If you still wanted me that way then it was for you to say it. I thought your silence meant you had regrets. That you wished to put all that behind you.”
She laughs, disbelieving, and it’s half laugh and half sob.
“Are you always this stupid?”
“I think I might be,” I say as I jerk her waist so that it’s flush against mine — we’re nearly the same height and her mouth is pleasingly close — and then I lean in and kiss her with all the pent-up passion and yearning I’ve been holding back for days.
She yields beneath my fingers, softens with my kiss, and it reawakens the desire I’ve been holding down. I groan into her mouth, overcome with need for her, drugged by the taste and feel of her mouth sliding on mine, her lips catching on mine, dragging them toward her. I want to see where else they could catch and drag.
“You can’t kiss me.” She is breathless when we break apart, her fist firm against my chest, holding me back from kissing her again. I swallow down the stab of loss at her rejection. I’ve misunderstood. I’ve overstepped. “You’re sworn to celibacy.”
Oh. I search her eyes. Is that her only objection? My honor?
“Didn’t you see Hefertus pay for my armor and clothing?” I say, my voice clouded by the harshness of my breath. The rise of desire is not so easy to quell as it is to awaken.
She shakes her head. And her voice is pleading. “What does that have to do with anything?”
She wants me to give her reasons to stay. My heart leaps to offer them.
“I gave him every coin I possessed.”
Her tone is dry. “He hardly needs it. He’ll just spend it on nonsense.”
“Did you not see how I could not heal the boy?” I ask, tentatively, trying not to misread her again.
She looks puzzled. “You bound his arm. I thought …”
I laugh darkly and then her expression turns the bitterness of it into true amusement.
“Tell it to me plainly,” she demands.
