No one but me noticed the laughter or the distracting byplay.
The Majester General waved parchment and pen. “I need a surface to write on.”
I blinked. “Well, you could use my back but there’s a des —”
I didn’t get a chance to even say “desk” before he spun around me, settled the parchment against my backplate, and began to scribble.
I glared at the perfectly serviceable desk. Its owner had been a great lover of the arts and had fitted it with a pen holder sculpted from golden marble in the shape of a reclining woman wrapped in a boa constrictor. The constrictor had five heads and the woman had five hands, and she had a place for a pen in the center of each of her five palms. She looked profane, indeed, but her desk was still a better place to write than my back.
“Is that a map?” Adalbrand asked from somewhere behind me. It sounded like he was suppressing a laugh.
Great. I was the butt of everyone’s humor here. Could no one take a grave in the ground full of dead people’s possessions and a great rotting demon seriously? No? It was just me?
I huffed a sigh. I liked maps. I would like to see this one. And I didn’t like being a desk.
“It won’t be a thorough search without one,” the Majester said, pride in every word. “Can you point out which rooms you searched so I might mark them?”
“We searched here and here together and split off to search here and here. We saw no one else. But it looks as if you have a tick on almost every room so far. What’s this?”
“A fountain. It’s on the other side of the stairs from the clock. Handy if we’re here for long. The Penitent declared it fit for drinking and the High Saint blessed it. There was no cup in it, though. We’ll have to start looking for hidden chambers, perhaps,” the Majester said. “Or a key to unlock the other door.”
“Other door?” I repeated, but my words were eclipsed by Adalbrand’s.
“Wait, is this the shape of a pentagon with one triangular section off to one side?”
“It is.” The Majester General’s voice warmed. I imagined he was probably well-liked among his aspect. There were almost no Beggar Paladins as genial and gracious as he was, and he was generous with information and comradery.
Rude. I’ve always been very generous. I spent an entire day once cataloging all the cheeses I’ve ever tried for your educational use. In the order in which I ranked them, no less.
So generous.
“And look, all these cells that are clearly people’s personal chambers are located in this triangular section outside the thick main wall of the pentagon. I measured it at the windows and it’s nearly a pace thick of pure stone. Imagine the work it took to carve this wonder. And those statues!”
“Did you think they looked a lot like us?” I asked, staring at the fireplace opposite us, annoyed.
Brindle trotted over to it, spun three times, and then collapsed into a doggy heap, his tongue hanging out of his mouth as if he were laughing at me. Sure, dog. Live it up. Laugh at my expense. It’s not like I’m the one who feeds you or anything.
I like it when you’re annoyed. You think better then. Put your mind to the task of that map, sweet morsel. What did that glass bead mark?
“The statues?” The Majester seemed surprised. “Well, I expected the monks here to be human, didn’t you?”
“No, I mean specifically like us. There’s one, I swear, that is the Prince Paladin’s exact doppelganger. Right down to that firm jawline and straight nose.”
“Well, he does rather have the kind of face that ought to be immortalized,” the Majester General said absentmindedly. “Likely he’s not the first man to look so godly that an artist was inspired by it.”
The dog started snickering in my head again. I gave it a black look.
“So, this corridor you went down opposite to the clock,” he said, tapping something on the map in a way that sent vibrations through my backplate, “goes through a door at the exact center of that side of the pentagon and then proceeds into this triangle-shaped section full of smaller rooms. There’s one more area in this section of the pentagon that has a locked door.” He tapped my backplate hard as he noted it. “And then these two sections appear to have no door at all. But perhaps one is hidden. This one is carved all over in bas-relief and a keyhole could easily be hidden in the design. And this one appears to have a large glass section with only darkness behind it, so possibly there’s a hidden entrance there, too. The last section is windows, of course, cut into the rock face and looking out to the sea. I wouldn’t expect more than meets the eye there.”
“You think there are triangular sections behind each of the other walls?” Adalbrand asked.
I could hear the Majester’s smug smile in his voice. “It’s what I’d do if I were building this place, and I’ve learned that in battle it’s best to assume your opponent is at least as clever as you are.”
“Are we in a battle I don’t know about?” I asked the air in front of me.
“A battle to find the cup,” the Majester said testily. “And our opponent is those who hid it — long dead now. I’ll take the cup you found, if you don’t mind. I’m collecting them all so we can test them together tonight. It will be a completely fair and aboveboard investigation, I assure you.”
“Of course,” Adalbrand murmured.
