I hear a sound behind me, and, too late, I remember the sixth gang member.He's already thrusting a short sword at me, and I know it's too late to dodge, even with the speed and strength I've borrowed.I stare at the advancing blade, and a part of me welcomes the prospect of death if only it will stop the pain I feel, even as the rest of me roars my defiance.
But the blow doesn’t land.Another blade is there, knocking it aside.Alaric is suddenly beside me, slashing the last attacker with his sword, forcing him to fall back.The six men are all fleeing now, running to get as far away from me as possible.
I’m breathing hard, my clawed hands wet with blood.The young woman the gang members were attacking is on the ground, sobbing, and I can feel her fear, her sorrow.
"You need to let it go, Lyra," Alaric says.He's breathing hard, and I can feel both fear and anger spreading within him, but he's pushing them down, submerged beneath everything he feels for me.
I snarl at him without thinking.
“You’re not in control, so you’ve taken too much,” Alaric says.His voice is calm, but I can feel that’s only because of his iron willpower.“And you’re spilling out what you feel, Lyra.You need to stop.”
His words cut through everything I’m feeling, and for an instant, I see myself from the outside.Maybe it’s through the eyes of some passing animal.I see myself as a wild thing, only a step away from the kind of bestial thing I’ve seen beast whisperers become before.
I have to fight to let go of my powers, fight to let my hands return to something normal and human.I give back the grace, the ferocity, the strength I’ve stolen, watching as the animals I’ve influenced flee the area.
The emotions I’ve been spilling around me are more difficult.It hurts to take back the pain and anger I’ve been pouring out into those around me.I start to build walls around those emotions, and Alaric holds me tightly against him while my tears fall.
“You followed me,” I say.
“I wanted to make sure you were safe,” Alaric replies.“And I wanted to be here for you when he hurt you.”
When, not if.For Alaric, it was always about whether Marcus would hurt me physically or just emotionally.And he was determined to be there for me.He must have followed me in disguise, tracking my steps even as I did something he disapproved of.I cling to him, slowly piecing myself back together as I regain the control over my powers that I lost after I fled my meeting with Marcus.I feel weak now, shaking with both emotion and all the power I've used.I must have spilled my emotions over half the city thanks to my powers.I wonder how many fights there have been because of me, how many people have been hurt.
“Come on,” Alaric says.“Let’s head back.”
Back to the safehouse, back to the resistance.It's where I belong now, and it's the place from which I swear I'll stop Selene, whatever it takes, even if it means going up against Marcus.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“Is there anything in the letters?”I ask Thalia, pacing the back room of the inn in frustration.
“Be patient,” Thalia says.
“That’s easy for you to say.It’s been days now.”
A part of me wants to be out in the city doing something, trying to actively undermine Selene, or just hunting for her.If we knew exactly where she was in the city, we might be able to finish this once and for all.
But Alaric insists I can’t go out right now, not after what happened following my meeting with Marcus.I lost control, and that could have gotten people hurt.It could have left me as a twisted beast, unable to return to a fully human form.Alaric thinks it’s safer if I stay in the safehouse for now.
I care about him enough to accede on this point, but it's been days of waiting now, and I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to go along with it while he goes out into the city to act alone.Alaric's taking risks with his own safety, while all there is to do here is help Thalia go through reports and papers, letters and fragments of information, trying to piece together anything that might help our cause.And she does that so efficiently that I feel as though I'm getting in the way just by trying to help.
Currently, Thalia's in the back room of the inn, going over the letters we took during our raid on the meeting, methodically reading every scrap and fragment to try to find something there to destroy Selene.
Maybe she can.That's my hope.Maybe there will be something in there so incriminating that even the Senate will be forced to act against her, finally condemning her for her efforts to overthrow the Republic.
Or maybe it won't make a difference.Maybe Selene has such good control over the Senate by now that it will never denounce her, regardless of what she does.That's a frightening thought.
“They talk about other meetings, in other places,” Thalia says.
“Other places around the city?”I ask.
Thalia shakes her head.“Other places within the Republic.”
Those words make a knot of fear tighten in my chest, and I have to fight to push it down.After what happened in the wake of my meeting with Marcus, I know I need to be much more cautious when it comes to my feelings.I can't let them control me, because there's a risk of them spreading to everyone around me, thanks to my powers.
But it’s hard not to feel fear when I hear this news.I had thought Selene’s efforts were limited to what she was doing here, in the capital.Now, it seems she’s trying to gain influence throughout the Republic.It means that, even if we somehow hold her back here, she might be able to leave the city of Aetheria isolated, an island in a broader sea of support for her.
“Where’s Alaric?”I ask Thalia.“He needs to know about this.”
