Jax couldn’t help but wonder where was it she saw herself inthose months? Did she picture herself next to him as he cautiously tried hercanned “death” peaches? The thought of her still there with him left himconfused. Confused because he had no idea how he should feel about that.
Just as every day in the winter months, night approachedfast, swallowing the daylight without remorse. When she announced she wastaking a shower, Jax had to look at his watch just to realize most of the daywas already gone.
It was absent-mindedness like that which got him into hiscurrent mess.
Leaning against the side of his house, Jax watched the lightfrom the bathroom window stretch across the ground. Hypnotically, he watchedthe shadow dancing across the light, and he clenched his eyes shut at the pureimage that burned itself into his retinas. He had only come out to check on oneof his motion lights that had gone off, yet again. He had been so focused onhis task; he didn't even think to remind himself not to look up.
But he did, and now he was fucked.
The scene would live on in his mind as clear as day until hedied, something always there to remind and torment him. Tilting her head backinto the spray of the shower, Jax stood frozen in the cover of darkness asAlessia’s breasts rose to the task. Dark berries from a forbidden garden, he noticedwith alarming precision every detail of her nipples. The pert short stems, thetiny bumps the circled her slightly large areolas, and their slight puffyshape. His mouth salivated at the sight.
Fucking hell, he wanted to shout into the black sky in fury.
This wasn't supposed to be happening, dammit. Pacing nearthe front of the cabin, Jax raged silently. He had been doing so good with heruntil this moment. The relationship between them was civil if not slightlyacrimonious at times due to his love of teasing her. Everything had been fineuntil that night she begged him not to go outside and check for any prowlingpredators. Those Goddamn motion lights. He should burn them for all the hellthey caused. The mixture of shock and sadness that shined back at him throughher eyes blindsided him in that moment when he looked at her. It had been solong since he had seen or felt someone genuinely worry about him it was hard toprocess.
That night, something between them unwillingly awakened. Itwas something that had been lying dormant just beneath the surface, somethingthat he had been willing to sidestep for however long as possible. Not anymore,now it was awake and alive between them, forcing him to pay attention.
Now any and everything was affecting him, things that wouldhave gone ignored before seeped past his barriers and struck the bone. Hersmile, her laugh, even her fucking home-cooked meals were a source of torture.And despite his constant reminder to stay strong, Jax found himself breaking weak.
When he took her out to practice shooting the day before, hefound himself purposely going out of his way to tease her enough to spark thatsexy little glint of ire in her eyes, forcing her to argue back with him. Orhow when she made all of her shots, he found himself returning the hug shethrew around his shoulders.
Pressing the heel of his palms to his eyes, Jax idlylistened to the shower stop. This wasn’t going to work. He was a man, evidentlyaweakman, but a man nonetheless. If they were going to continue thisfriendlyrelationship that she needed, there was going to have to be some addeddistance.
~*~
For the past two days, nothing she did was right in Jax'seyes. If she wasn't using too much wood for the stove, she was moving too slowwhen he requested her to bring him a particular tool. Even the compliments onher cooking stopped. There was a tension surrounding them and Alessia wasn'teven sure what she did to start it. All she knew is that it felt like she wason thin ice with the man.
Pouring the coffee, Alessia could hear Jax emerge from thebathroom behind her. She made sure not to look at him as she slid his cup nearhis plate. She tensed when she felt him walk up to the counter next to her.Initially, she planned on sitting at the couch to eat her breakfast, wanting toavoid the small kitchen table with him at all cost, but now she wasn't so sure.If she went to the couch, that meant she had to turn around and she may makeaccidental eye contact with him. That certainly wasn't a part of her plan ofstaying "unseen and unheard" as much as humanly possible.Glancing up to the kitchen window, she spotted the chair out on the porch.Perfect.
Grabbing her plate and coffee, she reached for the doorhandle.
"Where are you going?" he muttered darkly frombehind her.
Her heart sank, slowly she turned around to see Jax’s angryfurrowed brow. Nearly every emotion conveyed on this man’s face seemed angrylately.
Keeping her tone light, she smiled weakly. “I was going toeat on the porch.”
Setting his coffee mug down with a thump in front of hisalready clean plate, Jax stood up.
“Sit down and eat your food inside before you get sick,”Alessia flinched at the aggravation in his voice. “I’ll be outside finishing upthe wind turbine, come out when you’re done, I have got a project for you towork on.”
Watching him walk out the door, Alessia's shoulders droppedonce the door shut. This wasn't working between them, and the shocking part wasit hurt to realize that. On some level, she had come to like Jax, it wascomforting being around him. His personality was harsh at times, but there wasa kind of honorable layer underneath that ruled him. Growing up in a trailerpark on the wrong end of town, Alessia didn't have very many examples of goodmen growing up. Her own father was missing in action long before she was bornand most of her neighbors and friends had similar stories. Men who coveredstranded women with blankets as they slept on their couch seemed like somethingshe had only ever seen on TV.
Taking her dishes to the sink, Alessia could see Jax outsidescrewing on a large blade to the wind turbine engine. Just how much longer washe going to tolerate her presence, she thought.
Outside, she stood next to Jax in the doorway of his toolshedin the back of the house. He had told her a while back that this was the firsttoolshed he started with when he moved out here. It was smaller than the newerone it sat next to and held mostly tools while the larger one housed buildingsupplies.
“Just organize all the tools on this wall,” he pointed tothe trays and trays of various nuts, bolts, nails and more. On the shelves werevarious piles of pliers, wrenches, and screwdrivers. Alessia recognized most ofthe tools as things they used for the past few weeks on various projects.
"Turn on the heater in the back and keep these doorsclose," he instructed sharply. Not saying anything else, he walked away.
Doing as instructed, she closed the heavy wooden door behindher. Clicking on the light, she looked around at where to start first.
It'd been about an hour since Jax left her, and the toolshedhad warmed up thanks to the heater. She was working on the top shelf when herfoot slipped off the corner of the stool she was standing on. For the briefestmoment, she floated in midair, giving her just enough time to close her eyes tothe pain.
Kicking open the door with his foot, Jax stepped sidewaysthrough the cabin door carrying Alessia in his arms.
Back in the tool shed, when she first opened her eyes,Alessia could feel the gritty wooden floor beneath her as light from theopening door blared inside.
