Breaking his own policy, Jax stood under the spray of theshower later that night, letting the waterfall over his head.
He was a complete idiot. The moment between them earlier wasin the palm of his hand. Jax had felt every cell of her willingness for more onthat roof without a shred of doubt. He just didn’t want to be wrong. If he hadkissed her like he sodesperatelywanted to, would she have regrettedit? Would he feel like an asshole who took advantage of their friendship?
But he didn’t miss the crestfallen look in her eyes when hepurposely steered the mood between them to a lighter note. Son of a bitch,hitting his fist against the tile he stared at the wasted water draining downthe silver drain at his feet, she could have been his and that made him anidiot—plain and simple.
Chapter 14
With every passing day since that night on the roof, theirrelationship progressed further and further from the moment she stared up athim with a sensual curiosity only a woman could possess. Now he was in utterhell, something far worse than he could've imagined. Hell, Jax would've ratherhave their contemptuous fighting again rather than to dwell in this icy tundraof—the friend zone.
Her bleached smiles and complementary laughter chipped awayat his waning control. This was not what he wanted. He wanted her breathlessbeneath him, her arms around him, shocked gasps as he enjoyed the taste of her,not whatever this frozen shit-hole was.
"Man, you were right about the library," stompingoff her boots on the porch, Alessia followed him inside the cabin. Lining herboots neatly next to his, she scanned the room until she found Whiskers peekingout from under his bed across the room. "All of their books are positivelyancient."
Jax didn't have to say anything as he sat on the couch,waiting as she piled the books she did manage to find on the table. Since thatnight on the roof, Jax found that he didn't have to say much anymore, nor couldhe even if he wanted to. Alessia filled every available empty space betweenthem with nervous chatter.
"I told the guy who runs it, Mr. Hersh…Mr.Hershan..an…" She struggled to recall, as she finally sat down next tohim.
Okay, good, at least she was seated now, Jax thought with agrimace. Unlike the past few days, it seemed every few minutes she was upmoving, cleaning, or just fiddling with something all in an effort not to betoo close to him. It was driving him crazy. Was she nervous, or did she reallynot want to risk feeling something again with him?
“It’s Hershenhorn,” he corrected dryly.
“Oh yeah, that’s it, well what I was telling him was,”leaning back on the armrest next to her, she pulled her feet up as she scoopedup the kitten to her lap. Looking at him over her pulled up knees, she quicklylaunched back into her story. “He should contact some of the major librariesand large-scale secondhand book chains for possible donations to freshen up hisinventory.”
Jax was starting to make it an inner game to see how long hecould stare at her and count the times she averted her eyes from his gaze."And why would Hershenhorn go through all that effort for a town thathardly uses the library?"
Her smile became wicked is one of her dark eyebrows archedproudly. "Well, that's what he said, but I said," holding up onefinger as her eyes narrowed at his with barely contained excitement. "Heshould team up with the local bed and breakfast hotel and do a yearly writer'sconference or a book retreat. Because I have been chatting with a few of myfollowers, and they love the pictures I have taken and the town's description.Some of them have been saying it sounds like the perfect place for a quietretreat. And you know what?"
She was far too hyped up on her own story and burgeoningidea to actually need a response from him, but he lifted an eyebrow in silentacknowledgment anyways.
“I found some other similar places that do the same thing,even up here in the Pacific Northwest and I really think it could besomething.”
The hopeful, happy look she was giving him as she waited forhis opinion was probably the most dangerous weapon that could ever be usedagainst him, he thought. Giving her an approving nod, he reached out andstroked underneath Whiskers' chin, who had slipped off her lap and climbed upand over her knees.
“And you and Hershenhorn discussed all of this while I ranto the post office?”
“Yeah, well it was that or talk about why I’m in town or theweather,” she rolled her eyes and let her head flop onto the sofa back. “And Ihad a feeling that was where he was going to take the conversation if I didn’ttake the lead.”
“You mean like how you and I talked about the snow theentire trip up to town?” He pointed out matter-of-factly, as he let the kittenhop to the floor.
Alessia froze, before shifting in her seat. Jax couldpractically see her thoughts churning in guilt at the accusation.
"Well, it was a valid conversation, in myopinion," she defended. "I don't know if snow in the forests ofOregon is any different from snow in Washington."
“Mmm,” he made a noncommittal noise, enjoying the way itonly riled her defensiveness even more.
“And besides,” clearly not giving up yet. “I sleep a fewfeet under your metal roof, so I think it only makes sense that…”
“Alessia,” he interrupted. With his arms spread across bothdirections along the back of the sofa, she was only a few inches from his lefthand. He resisted the urge to grab her by her silky hair and pull her acrosshis lap.
“Yes,” she answered softly, all the confidence she had secondsago as she argued evaporated. She stared at him with those wide eyes that madehim want to react without forethought and to touch without asking.
“Do I make you feel uncomfortable?”
Straightening in her seat, she hugged her knees tight to herchest. "No, of course not," she breathed deeply. "No, Jax, you…You make me feel the opposite, actually," she whispered.
Throwing caution aside, Jax turned in his seat towards her,leaning in closer.
“Good, because you know I won’t ever do anything you won’t like,right?” Jax could hear the roughness to his own voice as his eyes were drawn toher lips. Slowly, she sucked in her bottom lip and nervously worried it betweenher teeth as she nodded.
