She shifted in his hold, but he only tightened his grip.
“I just wanted to sleep next to you tonight,” she answered.He didn’t have to see her face clearly to pick up the embarrassment.
To sleep. To “just” sleep. To just sleep, “next tohim." His mind slowly processed her words, breaking them down to thevery basics. Oh, he understood now. She meant to watch him die a slow, crueldeath by her side. Because after a night sleeping like that, that was as sureas shit what was going to happen.
Jax couldn’t trust himself to actually say anything inresponse. Pulling at her waist, he let his forehead rest on her stomach.
"Jax?" Her hands tentatively stroked through hishair, and Jax released a pleased groan.
“That feels good,” closing his eyes he enjoyed the feelingfor a few more precious seconds.
Lifting his head, he looked at her, taking note of the arrayof emotions crossing through her eyes. Despite the nervous self-doubt, he couldsee a touch of need shining through. Tightening his grip around her waist, helifted her off the ground.
“Jax,” he ignored her startled gasp and focused on thefeeling of her hands clutching at his shoulders as he swung her onto the bed.Setting her on the empty spot near his side of the bed, the side pressedagainst the wall, he returned back to the spot and turned on to his side toface her.
“You could have just scooted over,” she said as she triedtugging at the covers beneath her to get underneath them.
Not saying anything, Jax just helped her pull out andarrange the covers until he could feel the heat of her body next to his as shesettled within them. Moonlight from the window near the foot of the bed allowedjust enough ambient light for him to see her fists clutching at the top of thecomforter pulled around her chest. He could swear he could feel a slighttremble coming off of her.
“Are you cold?” Even as he asked, he was already layeringthe blankets on top of her.
"N-no, I'm just nervous," she stammered honestly.
“Don’t be,” he whispered. “Turnover and face the wall forme.”
Stillness lingered between them as she hesitated. Slowly,she cautiously turned her side, laying stiffly facing the wall as instructed.Jax could feel the coiled energy rippling through her as she waited with heldbreath. Settling deeper into the mattress behind her, Jax carefully slipped onearm over and around her soft stomach, sending tremors across her body.
“Are you scared?” His voice was thick with emotion. Therewas a primal part of him and maybe even a bit savage that responded to hernervous trembling. It was shameful to admit. “You know I won’t do anything youdon’t…”
“No, it’s not that,” her hand closed over his, bringing hisarm tighter around her waist. "I'm not scared of you, Jax, justnervous."
Letting his head rest on her shoulder, he nodded. Heunderstood, but the revelation did little to help his cause. Every instinctinside of him roared to life at her admission. She didn’t fear him, she didn’teven fear “this” between them, she was just feeling natural apprehension.Pulling her closer, Jax bit down a groan as he melded her soft body to his,tucking her into his chest. The fresh scent of her silky soft hair glided underhis nose as his hand and forearm set centimeters under her breasts.
“All you have to do is tell me what you want, baby, and I’lldo it.” He whispered into her ear from behind. “And if it’s something you don’twant, just tell me so I can make sure it never happens. You’re in control.”
Jax could feel her heart thumping against his forearm.Visions of turning her over and pushing her shirt up just to the line of hernipples and kissing the area of her thrashing heart haunted him. He was goingto have to pull his hips away from her ass soon if he kept this thinking up.
"If I told you I want you to hold me all night, justlike this, would you?"
“Honestly, I had no intentions of letting you go.”
“Good,” her arm covering his tightened. “Please don’t letgo. I don’t ever want you to let go.”
They lay there for minutes, neither one speaking. Jax couldhear her breathing steady and felt her heart rate returned to normal. He knewshe was awake because he felt her continuous stroking at the hairs on hisforearm.
Eventually, she spoke. "Just before the last time I ranoff to a shelter, I was attacked by Gary."
Closing his eyes, Jax commanded every nerve in his body toobey. He did not flinch or stiffen, he demanded utter stillness from himself ashe listened.
"I only had morning classes that day and got homeearly. When I got home, the trailer was empty, so I figured I would take aquick shower before anyone got home," she explained. "But as I wasgetting out of the shower, Gary kicked in the bathroom door."
Jax’s blood felt as if it was surging through his veins, hiswhole body felt hot with rage.
"He pinned me against the shower wall and stuck hisfingers inside of me," her voice sounded smaller and smaller as sheexplained until she was practically whispering. "Thankfully, the sound ofmy mom's car pulling up stopped him from going further. He slammed my headagainst the wall and told me not to say anything, and then he left," shetook a deep, shaky breath. "That was when I decided to try the shelter onelast time, but Gary dragged me back home. I just decided to leave at thatpoint.”
The piercing silence from earlier returned, ringing in hisears but it was somehow much louder this time, deafening even. For the firsttime in a long time, Jax could hear his own rage, he could feel it coursethrough him like a violent wave.
“Sometimes, I can’t stop thinking of that moment,” he couldhear the distress in her tone at the admission. “I can still feel the burningof his disgusting fingers inside of me.”
