“Good morning,” he said when he saw her, clearly attempting to hide his surprise.
“Good morning,” she said back. He sat at the head of the table. As she took the seat to his left, gesturing for the maid to bring her a muffin with butter, she felt his eyes on her.
“To what should I owe your company?”
“I would like for you to call off your friend.” The direct approach, she’d decided, would be best for such a discussion.
Reginald looked down at his food, though his stiff shoulders betrayed his thoughts. “I will not.”
“I understand that you do not wish to upset him-”
“It is not that.” Setting down his fork, he looked over at her. “Auggie, I’d like you to consider him.”
“He has given me little choice these last few days but to consider him. My consideration has been thorough, and it has led me to conclude that Lord Brightwater and I would be dreadful together.”
She could see her brother attempt, and fail, to halt the rolling of his eyes. “And what makes you say that?”
She had anticipated such a question, and had come up with several answers. “He is a man of art, and music, and culture. I admire those things, but I would never be able to participate in them, or even offer him decent conversation about them. He is a darling of theton, and I am…not. Moreover, I am happy the way that I am. A husband is the last thing I need at this moment.”
“A husband is actually the only thing you need at this moment.”
Augusta blinked, stupefied by the sudden harshness in Reginald’s tone. “And what is that supposed to mean?”
“It means that you are twenty and four, and I will not always be here to play the role of permissive older brother for you. You ought to think of precisely what you want out of life, Auggie.”
He might have slapped her, for all that she suddenly felt humiliated and angered at his words.
“Tread carefully, Reginald. I don’t believeyouwant to engage in a conversation on marriage with me with such a smugcountenance.”
It was a warning that she so rarely gave him, but it had the desired effect. His cheeks pinkened, and he cleared his throat in discomfort.
“We are not talking about me, Auggie. My die has already been cast and come up short. You, however, have potential. I hate to see you squander it.”
It had never occurred to her that Reginald had, likely, had his own worries about her marriage prospects - or lack thereof. She wondered how he felt right then, knowing that she had not been successful after so many years. Did he feel any shame over her? Fear? Was that why he’d so quickly accepted Lord Brightwater’s attention toward her?
The idea sent a cold wave of gloom through her. Until now, her brother had never spoken to her in a way that led her to believe herself lesser in his estimation due to her lack of marriage prospects. In her comfort with her status, she had assumed his comfort as well.
It seemed foolish, in hindsight. Of course he’d want her married. Of course he’d want her protected and spoken for and, perhaps most importantly, out of his home for good. And yet, he’d only ever allowed her to make that choice for herself.
Perhaps…perhaps she owed it to him to try, however little.
She did not have to encourage Lord Brightwater’s attention, but neither did she need to rebuff them as thoroughly as she’d done at the musicale and after his touch in Hyde Park yesterday. If this was a passing inclination on his part, then it would fizzle out on its own, and no party could say that she had been the cause. If it was something more serious, then she would know her own mind enough to make a swift and just decision.
“I will acquiesce,” she said softly, then quickly added, “Somewhat. I daresay I could be more…open. Or…something.”
That was as far as she would deign. Reginald must have known it, because he gave a tacit nod of approval. Then, his expression softened. “You know I love you, Auggie. I think you’re brilliant, and witty, and you have so much to offer. I do not wish to see you waste it on a life spent alone.”
She shrugged and looked out the window, unable to meet his gaze. “You know how I am, Reginald. Alone suits me.”
“I don’t believe that that is true. I know better than anyone in the world that marriage is often wasted on those wholly undeserving of it.” He paused, his face breaking into a look of pain for just a moment before he pressed on. “But if something great can be created out of it all, then I believe it behooves you to try. And you, Auggie, could very well have something great.”
She told herself that he was only saying it to butter her up, as his words so deeply affected her that she had to hold back a sniffle, and such sentimentality simply would not do.
“Alright, alright,” she waved him away. “I will give more serious consideration to your friend, if you are so eager to be rid of me.”
Reginald straightened, attacking his breakfast with newfound gusto.“No matter who you marry, I assure you that you will never be rid of me. It would simply bring you too much joy, and I would never abide by that.”
*****
