He took some time to think on her question before answering, a trait that she greatly admired (then again, she admired all things about her husband right then.)
“I don’t know,” he said after a while. “My parents were not particularly happy. They were certainly not in love. I don’t know if I even knew that married people could be in love until I was much older. I assumed that a husband and wife were supposed to hate each other.”
Augusta looked down at her hand, which was splayed across his chest, just above his heart.
“I understand,” she said finally, resolving to be as open and honest with him and he had been with her. “I know it is wrong to speak ill of the dead, but Mother and Father were not the living examples of divine love that many made them out to be. Father had mistresses. Toward the end, he became far less discreet, and I know that Mother was crushed by it. I don’t believe they truly hated one another, but neither did they understand one another. There was not much real love, and there was even less respect and admiration.”
“I didn’t realize,” Sebastian said quietly.
“It is quite alright. I don’t believe many people did.” She paused, looking up into his beautiful blue eyes again. “I am sorry that you did not know the love that you deserved.”
“Thank you,” he said. “I could say the same for you.”
She smiled sadly at that, then told herself to shape up. She would not be the dour bride today. “Well, I always had Reginald. He truly has only ever wanted the best for me. I suppose that is more than most women get in this world.”
Something in Sebastian’s expression slipped before he composed himself again. “Well, regardless, I am glad that we have found one another. Now both of us may write a new story for our own children.”
Augusta debated saying what she said next, before deciding that Sebastian and her would both benefit from it.
“Well, if that is to be the case, we must make haste in creating them.”
Sebastian eagerly agreed.
*****
Augusta’s new husband took her to more musicales in the following weeks than she had been to in nearly her entire life. She’d known that Sebastian enjoyed losing himself in music, but she had not realized how devoted he was to the pursuit of it until now.
As she sat next to him in their usual box, violins trilling through the air while stars practically danced in Sebastian’s eyes, she once again felt that pang of shame that had lingered ever since their wedding. Here her husband was sharing his love with her, while she still held back the most private, fundamental part of her own passions.
They had now been married for six weeks, during which time she had absolved herself of her sins in order to enjoy the honeymoon. Now, though, she felt the clock ticking. She would have to tell him. Sooner rather than later.
Her heart skipped a beat at the thought. She forced herself to push it to the back of her mind, assuring herself that she would do it quite soon, but not right now. It was simply not the right time at this moment. Eventually, all would be known.
Applause brought her back to the present. She realized that they had reached an intermission.
“What did you think?” Sebastian asked, his eyes sparkling in that way they always did when he’d just been carried away by a symphony.
“It was lovely,” Augusta replied, putting her full effort into sounding as enthralled by it as he had been. Perhaps she did not have a great love for music, but her husband did. She found that whatever he adored, she adored by proxy.
Would he feel the same? When the time came?
She shook the thought away. “Is it everything you wanted, dear?”
He nodded, that shine in his expression never wavering. “Yes, and more. I was told that the conductor was exceptional, but seeing it in person is another experience entirely.”
He went on to tell her more about the reasons why this particular orchestra was so wonderful. Augusta attempted to listen, but instead got lost in Sebastian’s handsome, happy face.
She wanted to kiss him. Therefore, as soon as he finished one sentence and paused to inhale for another, she used the break to lean over and close the space between them. He halted, his surprise putting a stop to whatever thought had previously beenrushing through his mind.
When she pulled away, it was her turn to be surprised; Sebastian, always so composed and confident, stammered for a moment. A silly ‘erm’ emanated from him, the sound of a man who no longer had thoughts in his head.
“Sorry-” Augusta started to say, laughing a bit, only to be cut off by him in an instant.
“I love you,” he said, his voice dreamy.
Why did it feel as though it were the first time he’d ever said it? Surely, she’d heard it…at some point, hadn’t she? He’d said so many lovely things to her, had made his affection so clear. And yet, when she thought back, she could not recall a specific instance of him actually saying those words in that exact order to her.
She smiled, and it would have taken a great tragedy indeed to wrench said smile from her face.
