CHAPTER ONE
Wes
My head snaps forward off the headrest, jolting me from the memory ofthatflight—thatplane—to the one I’m in now. Sleep tugs at the edges of my mind as I feel the pull of the wheels on the tarmac. I’ve never landed a Boeing 787, but I have landed enough planes in my life to know the wind is giving the pilot hell right now.
My heart beats a frantic rhythm in my chest, my surroundings sharpening into focus. The quiet voices of the flight attendants, the frayed pages of an inflight magazine in the seatback pocket, the cold metal of the armrest pressing against my skin. Just a dream… It was just a dream. Deep down, I know it’s a nightmare, but naming it as such would give it more power than it already holds. My hands shake as my lungs feverishly seek more air, the impact of this landingreminding me far too much of another. One that’ll haunt me as long as I live.
I tilt my head back, eyes falling closed as I force my breathing to slow. I press the heels of my hands into my eye sockets in a futile attempt to push the memories away. This isn’t my first flight since the events ofthatday, not even close, but after sitting here for fifteen and a half hours, it’s been hellish enough. Flying nonstop from Los Angeles to Sydney, Australia, is no joke. Especially after the eight-hour drive to the airport.
I’ve been in travel mode for well over a day with minimal sleep, and even my bones ache with the weariness. Add in my anxious feelings about this move, my new job, and whether I’m making the right decision… Yeah, it’s no wonder I’m experiencing flashbacks.
I scrub a hand across my face, the stubble that scratches against my palm a physical reminder of the disconnect between who I was then and who I am now. Reaching for my phone, I switch it off airplane mode. Thankful I had the forethought to set up an international plan, it picks up on Australia’s Telstra network and immediately begins to ping with notifications. I fumble with the buttons, trying to silence the sounds, but by the time I do there’s more than a few heads turned my way.
I sink into my seat, avoiding their eyes, and see that the first message is from my baby sister. The tension releases from my shoulders at the sight, and I feel a smile start to spread across my face. I know it drives her crazy that I think of her as mybabysister considering she’s twenty-six years old, but with eight years separating us, I’m afraid that’s how I’ll always see her. Even with the age difference, Rory’s one of my favorite people on the planet. Shewas the one who drove me eight hours from our hometown of Lake Tahoe to LA so I could fly halfway around the world. She’s tried to hide how much she hates the idea of this move, but I can read her well enough.
She’s worried about me.
Hell,I’mworried about me if I’m being honest.
Rory has always been the stable constant in my life. Meanwhile, I’ve been the fly by the seat of my pants guy. And I mean that literally—I spent the last twelve years as a fighter pilot for the United States Navy. I may have gone everywhere on their orders, their timeline, but when I was in that jet it was just me—my instincts, my gut, my grit and determination. I would’ve kept doing it too, if I could have. There’s never been anything I wanted more.
My throat bobs around a stiff swallow as panic threatens to rise again. That’s all gone now. That last deployment took it all from me, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t get it back.
Despite the concern my move seems to have garnered, this time away is exactly what I need. Space to breathe. Space to get my head on straight. Space to not be surrounded by the worst memories of my life.
I inhale deeply and return my attention to my phone.
Rory
How’s the future?
Her question makes me laugh out loud, snapping me out of my morose thoughts and earning me more covert looks from my fellow passengers. With the time change and the length of this flight, I skipped over a whole day of my life. It’s not the first time I’ve lost orgained a day during travel, but it’s always a weird realization. Rory is still living in that day, the one I’ll never get back.
Thedingof the fasten seatbelt light turning off is followed by the inevitable rustling of over two hundred people attempting to move at once. I, on the other hand, stay seated. Sitting toward the back of the plane, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon, so I may as well take my time.
Me
Wouldn’t you like to know. Just landed in Sydney. Did you make it home ok?
I made her promise she would get a hotel for the night, literally forcing the money to cover it into her hand while we stood on the drop-off curb at the airport. I didn’t want her turning around and driving through the night back to Tahoe. No need for her to be in the car for sixteen hours straight, especially when she’d be solo on the way back. I do the mental calculations and work out that she should’ve made it home by now.
Rory
Almost, I let myself sleep in a little and then grabbed the most amazing breakfast burrito. I bet they don’t have those in Australia. You probably should have stayed here.
She’s teasing me of course, but this cuts deep. She knows how much I love breakfast burritos. Plus, with nothing but airplane food and snacks to keep me going, I’m positively ravenous. As if trying to prove that fact, my stomach growls audibly, as if a yawning pit has opened inside me, ready to swallow acow.
Me
You’re the worst, you know that? I’d kill for one right now.
I’ll give you a call once I get settled in, ok?
I know she’s going to want reassurances that I’m all set and don’t need rescuing. I swear, for a little sister, she’s more like a mom these days.
Rory
You know you love me. Yes, please call me. Anytime.
