“Are you going to put some clothes on?” She sounds flustered.
Good. She’s the one who walked in on me, let her be flustered.
“Why?” I ask as I pull myself away from the perusal of her body, my desire to tease her taking over. “Don’t like what you see?”
“Wes!” she admonishes, but her tone is breathy and not nearly as chiding as I’m sure she meant it to be.
My smile just grows wider. “That’s not an answer, Grey.” I make a low humming sound in my throat as I step closer to her.
“Wes.” It’s more of a plea this time. Does she think saying my name like that will make me stop teasing her?
I take another step. “Joss?” I draw her name out like a caress. I’m within touching distance now.Fuck, what am I doing?This is a terrible idea. “Did you see something you liked, sweetheart?”
She goes entirely still as her breath catches. Did I push too far? I may have pushed myself too far, my body reacting to her being so close. It’s not like these boxer briefs are leaving much to the imagination, and if she turns around it’ll be game over.
I don’t think she’s going to answer, but in the quietest voice, she finally does.
“Yes.”
One word. One little word, and my restraint snaps. My ability to keep this flirtatious and light goes out the window. I take the last step and press my body against her back, my heated skin brushing against the fabric of her clothes. I slide one arm around her waist and use the other hand to pull her hair to the side so I can bring my face to the crook of her neck.
“What did you see that you liked, Joss?” I whisper, letting my lips dust the shell of her ear, my breath hot against her skin. The little self-control I still have keeps my lips off her, knowing I won’t be able to stop if they make contact. She gives an involuntary shiver at the same time her head rests back against my chest, leaning into my touch.
“You.” She clears her throat, and from this angle, I watch it bob with the effort to swallow. “All of you.”
Her breathing comes fast, and I can feel her every movement against my bare chest. She’s being coy, but I know what she’s saying, and to prove it, I press all of me against her back. I drag my nose down her neck, taking in the amazing way she smells. She moans, her back arching slightly, exposing more of her throat and pushing her hips further into where I’m pressed against her.
We’re on the precipice, a point of no return. I could spin her around and crush my lips to hers, making sure we never make it to our friends’ place. Or I could back away, put my clothes on, and we can pretend this never happened.
I don’t get the chance to choose though, because Joss’s hand comes over mine at her waist. It’s not a needy I-want-more kind of touch. It’s a soft one, the kind you use when you’re about to step away. Which she does. It’s not a rejection, just her coming to her senses, and I can tell it’s a struggle for her as much as it is for me.
She clears her throat again, her shoulders lifting and settling back, her spine straight as she walks to the door.
“I’ll meet you out here, yeah?” She doesn’t turn around. She doesn’t take another look. She just walks away, closing the door behind her as she goes.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Joss
Iswing the door to the balcony open and take in a lungful of the chilled winter air. The railing feels cold under my arms, even through my jumper, and I drop my head to my clasped hands. What in the hell just happened? I know the tension has always lingered there, but we’ve done such a good job of holding it at bay that I almost forgot the power it has over me when I let my guard down.
How many times have I stalked into this apartment over the past few weeks without even thinking about the fact that Wes could be naked? It didn’t even cross my mind as I walked into his room tonight. Yet there he was, in all his toned glory. Wet and glistening from his shower, not a lick of clothes on him before he pulled on those boxer briefs. I’ll never look at a pair of plain black boxer briefs the same way again.
And if I thought his ass was perfect under a pair of well-fitting board shorts, it was even better in the flesh. My cheeks heat at the memory of the way his muscles flexed and stretched, his body angling as he slid the fabric up his sculpted legs.
I should have walked straight back out as soon as I first saw him, but I was stunned stupid and couldn’t seem to make myself move. That all would have been bad enough but, oh my god, what happened after… I’m so embarrassed—no, not exactly embarrassed. Flustered, maybe? Turned on, definitely.Crap.How am I supposed to look him in the eye now?
I drag in a deep breath as I relive the last few moments in my mind. We were so close to crossing a line I don’t think we could come back from. I was so desperate for his lips on my skin, but I could tell he was holding back, restraining himself.
“Shit.”
I run my hands into my hair, letting my head hang as my mind races. I can’t lose this friendship, can’t afford to mess it up. He doesn’t do relationships, and I don’t do casual. I don’t really do anything these days, honestly. After Eric, I decided I needed a break from putting myself out there. Why bother when the outcome is always the same?
If it’s casual, they leave. If it’s serious, they leave.
But in the back of my mind, I know I want someone to share my life with. It’s what I’ve always wanted, craving what I never had with my own family. But I also know it can’t be with Wes. He’s only supposed to be here a year. I can’t fall for someone who isn’t able to offer me stability. I won’t.
When he comes out, I’m going to pretend nothing happened. Rebuild those boundaries brick by brick if I have to. I push off the railing and take a few deep inhales, sending the apprehension in my chest out with them.
