“Why are you doing this?”
“You know why.” He fingers a tendril of my hair and slides it behind my ear, giving me goose bumps down my neck. Hisfingertips trail my jaw to my chin. Holding me there, forcing me to look at him. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was about to kiss me. “I’m not going to let anyone take advantage of you, Joss. You mean too much to me. You’ve become my closest friend. I need to know you’re okay.”
That instantly cools the heat that was pooling in my body at his touch. Friend. Right, of course. He isn’t interested in a real relationship with me, and I’m not interested in being with someone who can’t offer me the stability that I need.
I pull back, needing space, needing to breathe. I stand up, grabbing our glasses that are now very much empty, and head for the kitchen.
Breathe, Joss.
“Hey. You okay?” I hear the concern in his voice, but I can’t look at him.
“Yeah, today’s just been a lot. I’m getting tired and should go to bed. We can figure out a plan in the morning, yeah?”
I glance over and see him eyeing me. Can he feel me pulling back, just as he’s pressing forward?
“Yeah. You sure you’re okay? Do you want me to stay awhile?” The sad puppy-dog eyes he’s sporting almost break me, but him staying won’t help anything. I’ll only be digging myself deeper into this hole of feelings that I’m quickly falling into.
“Nah, I’m alright. Just need sleep. Coffee and pastries in the morning?”
Instead of dawn patrol the morning after I get home from a trip, this has become our tradition, so that I can sleep in anddecompress.
He nods and closes the distance between us, picking me up in a bone-crushing hug. I melt into it, enjoying the way he’s so comfortable holding me, like his arms were made for me.
“Thank you,” I whisper into his ear. I let his scent wrap around me like a blanket. “For being you and for being here.”
“There’s nowhere I’d rather be, Grey.”
I sink further into the embrace and let myself believe him.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Wes
Sleep evaded me last night, the conversation with Joss about her mom running a loop around and around in my head. It explains why her circle of friends is so tight, and why she’s reluctant to open up and be vulnerable. It’s not like my parents were all warm and fuzzy, but to steal from their own kid? Never. They love me and Rory, even if they aren’t the best at showing it. But this, what Joss has been through—she deserves so much more than people who abandon her and take advantage of her.
I relax into my couch and prop my feet up on the grey ottoman before taking my first sip of coffee. What is it about that first sip that makes it better than all the rest? I hum as it slides across my tongue and down my throat, easing the tension and tiredness. SinceI was up early, I was able to get our coffees and my pick of the freshest pastries this morning.
Jaz hooked us up with an array of Joss’s favorites, and she even gave me the locals’ discount. For such a small gesture, it made me feel like this could be home for me.
My front door swings open and Joss appears. Did this woman learn nothing? I could be naked in here. The reminder sends my brain down the gutter.Snap out of it, Wes. This is not helping when you’ve just agreed to fake date her.
Fake, not real.
It shouldn’t come as a surprise to me that with how tangled up my feelings are becoming, offering such a thing was a terrible idea, but I’m committed now. Her mom is arriving tomorrow, giving us very little time to work out the details.
“Hey, gorgeous,” I say, jumping up from the couch and pulling her into a hug. The purple bruising under her eyes tells me she didn’t sleep well either, but I’m a smart enough man not to mention that to her.
“Hey, handsome.” Her greeting is less enthusiastic, but it’s also the first time she’s given me a pet name. I’ve been using them for her since the day we met because I can’t help myself, but it’s a bright spot hearing one fall from her lips.
“Look at us being all cutesy. We’re totally going to kill this pretend relationship thing.” I manage to sound like I mean it, even though it’s not how I feel. Pretending with her feels just plain wrong. Everything between us has always been honest and true. Joss’s face falls a little, and I hope she’s not reconsidering. It’s the best option we have to get her through the weekend.
“Right, yeah. About that…” she says, her bottom lip finding its way between her teeth while her fingers pull at the hem of her hoodie.Myhoodie, but I like it on her. “I think we need some ground rules.”
Rules, right. I like rules. In fact, they used to make up ninety percent of my day-to-day.
“Okay, but first, coffee. Jaz went all out this morning.” I grab her hand and lead her over to where I’ve laid out a tray with all the pastries and her coffee, which she reaches for first. Then she folds herself comfortably into the corner of my couch.
“Why is the first sip always the best?” she says as she brings her cup to her full pink lips and inhales, a little hum coming from somewhere deep in her throat.
