“But I don’t want to think about them right now. I just want to be here with you, in this moment. Can’t we worry about themtomorrow?” She looks up at me with a little pout on her lips, and I melt at the sight. I want to take that lip in my mouth and nibble on it, or maybe do something else with her mouth entirely.
That thought definitely doesn’t help my resolve that we should focus on the situation with her parents first. I reach up and run my thumb across her bottom lip, making her mouth drop open in a perfect O. When she pulls my thumb into her mouth, giving it a firm suck, I lose all semblance of self-control. Fuck, I want her again and I want her now.
“Fine. You win.”
With that, I stand from the chair and throw her over my shoulder before walking straight to the bedroom. She giggles and attempts to tickle me, which earns her a light swat to her behind. She squeals as I toss her onto the bed, the comforter falling away. We’re lost to everything else as we find each other. Again and again and again.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Joss
Iwoke the next morning blissfully tired and sore from the night’s activities. Unfortunately, there was no avoiding the subject of my parents in the light of day, so we forced ourselves out of bed and headed for the one place that brings us both peace: the ocean.
We talked as we bobbed in the waves, the sun rising behind us, and unpacked everything my dad revealed last night. We talked about my mom over breakfast and coffee at Harbour Grounds. We talked about how I feel about all of it when we got home. We came to the conclusion that dinner tonight would be the best course of action.
As we got ready to go, Wes was encouraging and supportive. He did his best to keep me present and calm, but my mind was all overthe place. I just wanted itover. Deciding to walk again tonight, I opted for a pair of black over-the-knee boots with no heel.
The way Wes’s eyes coasted over me when I stepped out of my room made my skin prickle with awareness. I paired the boots with my burgundy suede leggings, a black long-sleeve bodysuit, and a black leather jacket. Not my usual style, but I needed a confidence boost to get through tonight.
Now as we walk into The Gidley, I can feel other eyes on me, and self-consciousness about my choice of outfit prickles. But Wes, being Wes, senses my discomfort.
His lips ghost my ear with words that are just for me. “You are the sexiest woman in this room. And you aremine.”
His possessive claim growled against my neck has me shivering as I melt into his side. I want to kiss him senseless, but I spot my parents waiting for us by a table near the windows. My spine stiffens, and Wes links his hand with mine, giving it a squeeze, letting me know he’s with me.
I hug my dad when I approach the table. I hadn’t planned on it, but after the one yesterday and talking things out with Wes, I can’t help myself. My mom looks shocked to say the least. As far as I know, she isn’t aware of our dinner last night.
When she opens her arms to me, expecting the same, I can’t make myself do it. I’m not prepared to give her any more of myself. Thankfully Wes steps in, pulling her into his side as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, saving me from having to reject her.
I take my seat and Wes moves to sit next to me, but before he can, my dad approaches him, hand outstretched. Wes takes it and then pulls my dad into a hug as well. As someone who knows his hugswell, I can tellthisone is genuine. Dad looks taken aback but smiles before moving to take his seat on my opposite side.
We exchange pleasantries and small talk for a few minutes while the server brings us water and takes our drink orders. My glass of wine cannot come soon enough as my nerves ramp up. Wes places a hand on my thigh to keep me from bouncing it into the table and shaking the cutlery. After our drinks arrive, I ask our server to give us some time before we order dinner. I look at Wes and I’m met with a smile and a wink, encouraging me to say what I need to say. This man.
“Mom. Dad. I’ve thought a lot about everything you said. There is a lot of pain and trauma in my past associated with both of you. Things that have caused lasting damage.” My mom starts to interrupt, but Dad stops her with a look. “I have some things that I need to say to each of you. I know they probably won’t be easy to hear, but I need you to listen.”
Wes gives my thigh another squeeze, and I take a deep breath before continuing.
“Dad.” I turn to him first, and I can feel the nerves radiating off him. “You broke my heart when you left. I loved you so much.” His face falls, and I see the quiet sadness in his eyes with my use of the past tense. “Without you there, I spent years lost in a storm of uncertainty and instability. My fear of abandonment and a feeling of never being enough has wreaked havoc on my relationships and contributed to my trust issues for years.”
I turn in my seat, focusing my attention on my mom.
“Mom.” She looks at me with such hope in her eyes, and I will never understand how she thinks there is anything for us in thefuture. “You were heartbroken too when Dad left, I know that, and I won’t deny the pain that it caused you. But I’ve since discovered you held the key to the one thing I desperately wanted—a relationship with him. And you withheld that from me, all because you were angry and hurt.”
Her eyes flare before she turns her glare on my father. Her shoulders rise and she looks about ready to yell when I hold up a hand.
“No. I’m not finished.” She slumps back in her chair a little, but her eyes still burn with rage for the man next to her. “You never told me that he still wanted me. You allowed me to believe that I was the problem, that I wasn’t enough to make him stay. You dragged me from house to house to live with whoever you could find that could fill the void in your life, while never once thinking about the void you were creating in mine. I won’t even get into the fact that you didn’t believe me, your own daughter, when I told you one of your boyfriends came on to me when you weren’t home. That I no longer felt safe there.”
My dad’s gaze snaps to me and the look of fear and distress on his face has replaced any and all sadness. My mother at least has the decency to look sheepish at my revelation, but she says nothing. Shocker. When my dad turns that look on her, it’s morphed into something else entirely. He looks like he might be the one to start yelling, so I grab hold of his arm, bringing his focus back to me.
“It’s okay, Dad. I’m fine, nothing happened.” I look back to Mom and keep going, on a roll now. “I may have had trust issues initially because of Dad leaving, but those only grew because of what you put me through.
“And then you came to visit with Bill, and you broke every semblance of trust that I had rebuilt. You destroyed any love that I still carried for you when you allowed a man into my home to steal from me.”
Mom sniffs, and I think there’s genuine fear in her eyes now. I have to hold back the emotion clawing its way up my throat and finish, because no matter how hard this feels, I know that it’s the right way forward. The only way forward.
“I may not understand the dynamics that were at play, but nothing will ever justify what happened. Not only was my home—my safe space—violated, but I lost my mom that day. I wish I could say there’s a way back from that, but the truth is that I will never be able to trust you enough to be in my life again. I will always wonder if you’re only here for what you can get from me. Especially now that I’m about to come into some money.”
“Joss, honey.” A look of panic has taken over her features.
