Joss’s half-sister has been a bit of a sore subject as she and Brian try to find their footing. Isla isn’t to blame, and Joss knows that, but that doesn’t change the reality or make it any less complicated. There’s still a lot of hurt there for Joss, and I can understand why she’s struggling.
Then there’s the added layer that Isla starts her final year of high school in the new year and plans to attend the University of Sydney after she graduates. Brian has already flirted with the idea of movingto Sydney as well, his desire to be near both of his daughters being a driving factor. Joss feels the pressure to be a big sister somehow to someone whose very existence is a constant reminder of what she lost. Needless to say, it hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows trying to navigate the nuances of having Brian back in her life.
I stand up from the porch steps and force her to scoot over so that I can slide in beside her in the hammock.
“I know this is a complicated situation, but you can take all the time you need to decide what you want. You know that, right?” I lean in and kiss her temple, banding my arms around her.
“I know. I just…” She exhales and shakes her head. “She’s just a kid. Am I being selfish? Her mom died last year, and I’m sure she could use a big sister. I just don’t know if I can be that for her.” She groans and leans her head back. “Not that you’d understand, what with the amazing relationship you have with Rory.”
“Joss.” I bring my fingers to her chin and tip it up to meet her gaze. “No one can decide that but you. You know I love having a sister, she’s a huge part of my world, but our situations are very different. Do I think Isla would benefit from knowing you? Havingyouas a sister? Absolutely. But it’s your call, and no one will judge you for putting your needs first.”
She nods, her head falling against my chest. “You’re right.” Her lips press into my sternum, and that simple touch radiates out until I can feel it everywhere. “I won’t be making any life-changing decisions while we’re here though, so let’s talk aboutsomething else.”
“What shall we talk about, Grey?” I let my hands roam down her back, sliding my top one down her thigh until I can hitch it up over my hip. Her head tips back so we’re eye to eye.
She lets out a throaty hum and her voice is like smoke when she says, “This doesn’t feel like talking.”
“Talking is vastly overrated,” I say, my lips coasting along her neck and back up until I capture her mouth in a kiss that sets my blood on fire. Who needs a bonfire when I have Joss to keep me warm.
Her hands tangle in my hair, pulling me closer, and she shifts her weight to bracket my hips. Unfortunately, we both forgot we’re in a hammock and the whole thing rolls. One minute we’re mid-makeout, the next we’re sent sprawling onto the wooden planks of the porch.
We’re a tangled heap of limbs, and I can’t breathe because I’m laughing so hard. Joss is right there with me, her loud, uninhibited laughter like music to my ears. This is the kind of life I want. One that’s filled with fun and silliness and love. One that’s filled with Joss.
“The hammock clearly didn’t approve of your attempt to seduce me, Grey.”
“Oh, so this is all my fault?” She smacks her hand against my chest but quickly chases away the sting with a kiss.
“Pretty much.” I lift my head to kiss her nose. “I was thinking we could get in another surf this afternoon if you’re up for it, and then maybe have a bonfire tonight?”
“If that means I get to ogle you in your boardshorts for a second time todayandI get to snuggle with you by the fire, then count mein.” She presses herself up to stand and extends her hand for me with a smirk on her lips. When I take it, she does her best to pull me from the ground, but I barely budge from my place on the porch. She pouts, and my shoulders shake with laughter.
“Sorry, Grey, that’s my move. Now, let’s go surfing.”
Joss sits between my legs with her back to my chest while we watch the fire dance and spark in front of us. The blanket we’re sitting on keeps the cold from seeping up from the sand and the fire staves off the chill of the freshly set sun. The only sounds are those of the waves crashing on the beach and the crackling logs in the fire.
Our second surf was long and we’re both exhausted, content to sit in each other’s arms and just be. I’ve been mulling over my words for the last half hour while sitting here quietly, waiting for the perfect moment. For someone who never gets nervous, I don’t know why I am now.
I’ve finally worked up the nerve to spit it out when Joss speaks first, still looking at the fire. “Will you move in with me?”
My body jolts in surprise, not because of what she asked, but because she beat me to it. It takes only a split second to recover, and I let out a bark of a laugh, tightening my arms around her waist.
“Way to steal my thunder, Grey. I was about to askyouto move in withme.”
She spins to look at me. “You were not!” Her eyes are crinkled around the edges with the wide grin that splits her face.
I lean forward and kiss her lips softly. “I absolutely was. I was just trying to work up the nerve, and you had to go and do it so casually and confidently. Damn—you put me to shame, woman.” I shake my head.
“You didn’t answer my question,” she says with a smirk, and I let my hands cradle her head as I marvel at how beautiful she is. I can’t imagine spending even a minute of my life with anyone but her.
“I’d have thought my answer was rather obvious. But yes, Joss, I’ll move in with you. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” I lean in to kiss her again, but she pulls back slightly, a small crease between her brows.
“Why were you nervous?”
“I mean, I was pretty sure you’d say yes since we basically live together already, but still, it’s a big deal.” I scratch the back of my neck. “I’ve never lived with someone before, never wanted to, but I want everything with you. It still scares me sometimes.” I clear my throat and look into her eyes. The way the flames dance in their depths makes them look like molten silver.
“I love you, and sometimes that scaresmetoo. But you know what, every day it gets easier to accept that you aren’t going anywhere, that we’re everything to each other, and our love is a gift.Youare a gift.”
We move at the same time, meeting in the middle until our lips brush together, soft at first but quickly growing more insistent. We kiss like that for minutes, or it could be hours, before everything slows. I roll to my side, facing Joss, and watch the dying flames cover her in dancing shadows. Her eyes are closed and she looks so content, peaceful.
