I don’t write a love story. What do I know about love? Adventure, on the other hand…ThatI know about, and I decide to write a story about the adventures of Jamie and Avi. But these are adventures we haven’t had a chance to have yet, ones I’d love to share with her someday—each summer until we get to them all. Because I think I’d like to spend summers with Avi for the rest of my life.
I wonder if she wants to spend all her summers with me too.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Avonlea – Now
“Hey, Mum,” I say after tapping my right earbud to answer her call.
“Hello, dear, how are you? I’m not interrupting you in the kitchen, am I?” she asks, and I smile. As a chef herself, she should know I’m always in the kitchen.
“I’ve got my earbuds in, and I’m in between tasks actually. What’s up?”
“I know you’ve had your hands full getting settled, but we haven’t talked much and I want to hear how things are going.”
She sounds worried. Probably because she knows better than anyone else the reason for my trepidation at coming back to Cluaran. I’ve also been avoiding her because I don’t know how to tell her Jamie is here. I’ve talked with Lennox every night and each conversation is both a balm to my soul and a tugging on myheartstrings. I’ve had to restrain myself from getting in my car and driving home on multiple occasions.
“How are Aileen and Angus? He holding up okay?” she asks, and I shake my head to refocus.
“Yeah, he’s doing pretty well. More good days than bad days at this point. And he’s mostly following doctors’ orders and letting me do all the cooking.”
I think about Sunday when my period hit with the force of a battering ram to my uterus and I could barely get out of bed. Dragging myself out of it for cookies and a heating pad was worth it, though. I know it could’ve been Aileen—she knew why I wasn’t coming down to cook—but it wasn’t. It was Jamie, and it felt like catching a glimpse of the boy I used to know.
“Avonlea?” Mum asks.
“Yeah, sorry. I’m just distracted.”
“See, I knew you were busy. I just want to make sure you’re holding up. I know you have a lot of memories there and it can’t be easy. I—”
“He’s here, Mum,” I blurt, cutting her off.
“Who’s there?” Her confusion is palpable even through the phone.
“Jamie,” I whisper, my face screwing up as I say it. “He’s here.”
“Wait, what?” Mum shouts into the phone and I startle, but she’s in my earbud so there’s no escape. “When did he get there?”
“He’s been here the whole time,” I say, bracing for her reaction.
“And you’re just now telling me? Avonlea, you’ve been there for a week and a half.I—”
“I know. I didn’t know what to say. I don’t really know what to think myself.”
“How long will he be there? Are you okay? What about—” She bombards me with enough rapid-fire questions to make my head spin.
“Mum, stop. This is why I didn’t tell you.” I glance around, glad the rest of the staff is on a break. “I don’t know what to do. He’s going to be here for a while, and Lennox arrives in six weeks.”
She sighs and I can picture her pressing her hand to her forehead and then squeezing her temples. “You’re going to have to tell him.”
“How? How do I do that?” My voice rises and I feel the ever-present panic start to bubble beneath the surface. “We’re barely speaking as it is. It’s all such a mess. I should have known he’d come home, should have at least considered the possibility, and now we’re both here… And Lennox is moving up here and I-I don’t know what to do.”
“Breathe, sweetheart. Are you sure you should stay?” The gentle way she forms the question brings me a modicum of calm. Her voice has always done that for me, it’s why I usually tell her everything. If anyone can help me problem-solve, it’s her.
“I can’t leave now. Angus needs me here, and I love it, Mum. I’ve always wanted my own kitchen, and this one feels like home. It feels like yours did, but it’s also mine, you know? I don’t want to give that up, but…”
“If you’re set on staying, youwillhave to tell him. And Lennox too. Youshould’ve—”
I cut her off before she can go down a road we’ve traveled more than enough times. “Please don’t start. I had my reasons, and you know that.”
