I need to find a way to make this better, but I have no idea how to do that.
Mustering all the excitement I can, I say, “We’re going to make these the best five weeks ever.” Then I wrap my arms around him and pull him as close as I can without knocking us both off the roof. I breathe him in and remember that he needs me to be strong. I can’t fall apart about this. Not right now—not in front of him.
“I’ll come back,” he says. The words are a caress against the top of my head and goose bumps break out down my neck like they touched me there too. “For the summers. I already made Mum and Dad promise I could come back for summer breaks. Like you do. We can still see each other. Nothing changes for us.”
His voice is deeper than it was last year—something I’m only just noticing now that it’s so close to my ear. I pull back and realize he’s waiting for me to say something. Does he really believe anything would keep me away?
“If you’ll be here, I’ll be here,” I say, holding his gaze and breathing easier knowing this won’t be our last summer together. “When did they tell you?”
He settles back against the chimney, closing his eyes and tightening the arm he still has looped over my shoulder. “This morning. They said they didn’t want to ruin my last few weeks of school. I guess they figured they’d just ruin my summer instead.”
“It’s not ruined. It’s going to be the best yet, even with one less week.” I add extra pep to my voice and hope it doesn’t sound as false as it feels. I hate all of this for him.
“I don’t want to go,” he admits.
“Why not? It’ll be an adventure. You love adventures.” I lean in farther, wanting to feel his warmth and give him my support at the same time.
“I loveadventures when they’re withyou. I love adventures in Scotland. What if I hate it there, Avi? What if I can’t make friends?” His voice pulls over the words, like it costs him something to ask these questions, like he’s afraid to voice them but can’t hold them back.
His confidence is shot, and I hate that too.
“You won’t have any trouble making friends. You’re incredible,” I say, and then blush furiously. It’s not that it’s untrue, but I don’t know whether I’ve said that outright to him before. “I can’t imagine anyone not wanting to be friends with you.” I clear my throat and move away from the compliments, hoping my flaming face will cool. “Where is it that you’re actually moving?”
I want to help him see the positives, if there are any.
“Nevada. But not near Las Vegas.” He shrugs. I don’t know anything about Nevada, so I’m no help. “They took a trip out there a few months ago. I thought they were just taking a vacation or something. I guess they were meeting the guy who’s backing the distillery.”
“Are they not happy here? They practically run Cluaran Distillery, don’t they?”
“Aye, they do. Dad said this is their chance to have a part in building something from scratch. The guy wants it to be a traditional Scottish distillery, all Scottish techniques… Mum and Dad will basically oversee the whole thing. It’s a huge job. They’re excited. I just wish I could have been part of the conversation, you know?”
“Could you stay here, with Angus and Aileen?” I ask, not wanting to hope too much. It doesn’t make much of a difference forus, since we only see each other during the summers. But him being so far away, even in between, makes me sad. I can’t imagine how it must make him feel.
He shakes his head. “I asked. Well, no, I didn’t. I told them I wasn’t moving, but that didn’t go over well. Mum started crying and Dad looked really mad. I don’t really want to be separated from them, but I don’t want to move either.”
His head falls to my shoulder and my breath catches. I hold it for a beat—two, three—before releasing it and resting my own against the top of his. His red waves tickle my cheek, and on my next inhale, I memorize the way he smells, the feel of his warm skin against mine, and the perfect way we fit together like this.
“I’m sorry, Jamie.” It’s all I can think to say.
He sighs and I feel it in my bones. I reach over and lace my fingers with his. Then we sit there looking out across the back garden in silence and I wonder if he really will come back next summer.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Jamie – Fourteen Years Ago
Why does the school year last forever—each day dragging on for what feels like weeks, months feeling like years—yet the summers always go by too fast?
Of course, this one doesn’t just feel shorter. It actuallyis, and with only two days left before we leave, the minutes feels like seconds, and I can’t slow it down.
At least Mum and Dad have been so busy prepping for our move that I’ve had free rein to do whatever I want. Avi and I have filled every minute with as many adventures as possible. Where we used to have to imagine most of them because we couldn’t leave the garden or the farm, now we venture out for real. Swimming in the loch, hiking on nearby trails, getting chased by highland cows at a neighboring farm… Our imaginations still come into play though, wondering what it must’ve been like on Skye a hundred years ago, or imagining we’re in Middle Earth or somewhere like it where dragons or Hobbits could appear at any moment.
Avi took my little story to heart last year and asked me to keep adding to it so we’ll always have things to do when we come back.
I promised her I will.
She promised she’ll keep coming back too.
We’ll keep having adventures and nothing has to change.
