But yours are my favorite.
She’s read my books.
Avi’s read my books… and they’re her favorite?
I walk into my room rubbing my chest, willing the ache there to dissipate. An ache that started when I saw her holding my book in the parlor. I always wished I could share that accomplishment with her. I used to picture her walking into a bookstore and seeing my books on a display and I’d imagine her smiling and happy for me. But I never once believed she’d read them.
When I dedicated that first book to her, I almost mailed a copy to her parents’ pub, but I chickened out. Five years had passed since I’d seen her, six years since we’d spoken, and I just couldn’t bring myself to be the one who broke the silence.
Of course, I pictured her living this beautiful life with a husband and child, her parents… She wouldn’t need me. But from what she said, it doesn’t sound like Lennox’s dad has ever really been around.
Did the guy from the pub walk out on them? Or is there more to the story that I’m missing?
Likely. But that’s a part of her life I don’t deserve to pry into. I broke her heart and she moved on, which in turn broke mine. But she doesn’t know that. For all she knows, I left and never looked back… Except the emails I sent. I tried, and she was the one who never gave me that chance to fix things.
I shake my head, willing the confusion to clear.
At least she agreed to find some common ground now. Maybe we can be friends. And maybe it won’t be as tragic as it sounds, because no matter how much water is under the bridge with us… I’d happily let the current that is Avi take me wherever it wants to go.
Deep down, I’ve always known she wasit. And for ten years, I’ve been sitting on the bank of my life, watching it stream by, because if I couldn’t be in it with her, I didn’t want it. One-night stands. Random hookups. No more than two dates with any one woman. That’s the pattern I fell into because even in college, with a broken heart, no one lived up to Avi. After college, I told myself I was too busy for something serious. It was easier to keep things casual.
God, I was stupid. Am stupid.
Abuzz buzzdraws my attention to the phone vibrating on my desk. I left it behind when I went down to the kitchen for a snack—Avi’s biscuits might rival the ones Grandad makes—before I got distracted by seeing her in the parlor.
On the screen is the name of the only other woman I’ve allowed a place in my heart. Rory. She’s the sister I never had; our relationship so different than mine and Avi’s ever was.
Rory
Hey stranger! I miss you.
The eight-hour time difference between Nevada and Scotland has really put a damper on our usual communication. That and I’ve been avoiding telling her about Avi being here. I don’t know why exactly… Probably because I never told Rory what happened that final summer when I came back and saw her with baby Lennox. I never told anyone. But I think it’s time I finally stop hiding that piece of the story.
I tap on her contact and she picks up on the first ring.
“Jamie! Hi!” she practically yells into the phone.
“Hey, Roars.” I chuckle at her enthusiasm. “How are you?”
“Good. I can’t believe you called. I’m this close to saying ‘where you been, loca,’ but I’ll refrain.” She giggles, and I imagine her laughing at her own joke.
“Ugh, please, noTwilightreferences.” I cringe at the thought and fall flat onto the middle of the bed, staring up at the ceiling.
“Oh come on, you loved it when I made you watch all the movies with me.”
“No… It wasyouwho loved that. I did it because it made you happy.”
“And I loved you for that.” I can hear her smile through the phone and I relax instantly, feeling the guard I’ve had up since Avi arrived finally fall. “So, how’re things going? Your grandpa’s doing okay?”
“Yeah, he’s doing pretty well, all things considered. I’m glad I’m here though. I think Avi taking the stress of the kitchen off his shoulders has helped a lot too—”
She cuts me off and I silently curse, realizing what I’ve said.
“Wait… Avi is there?” Her voice screeches through the phone and I wrench it back. I can still hear her from a foot away. “LikeAvi, your friend from the summers Avi?”
I pull my glasses off and press a thumb into the bridge of my nose. “Aye, she is…” I draw it out like it’s a question.
“First, listen to you saying ‘aye,’” she says in a mimic of my accent, and it’s terrible. “You sound so Scottish right now. Second, why didn’t you tell me she was there? Weren’t you guys kind of a thing during the summers? Oh god, is it so awkward?”
