They pop open in shock, the white smeared across them. Then he moves. I try to dodge away, but he’s too fast, one arm snakingaround my waist to restrain me and the other reaching behind me to the same pile of discarded flour. He brings his fingers right in front of my face and I watch them—waiting.
“Don’t. You. Dare.” I emphasize each word, but even with my impending doom, I can’t stop smiling. His smile is wide too, his eyes bright and his excitement all too palpable.
He brings his fingers together and then flicks them. I squeeze my eyes shut as the dusting of flour hits my face. In the fleeting moment while they’re closed, I feel his mouth on mine.
The kiss is hot and fierce. The press of his lips and his body are the only things I can feel. I never want it to stop, but he pulls away and it’s over as fast as it began.
“I’m sorry—I shouldn’t have.” His breaths are ragged as he steps away. “Oh god, I’m so sorry, Avi.”
I reach for him, but he takes another step back. Puts as much distance between us as the kitchen will allow until he’s bracing his hands on the far counter, the skin stretched over his knuckles glowing.
“Jamie…” I don’t know what to say. My body is vibrating from just that simple kiss and my mind can’t catch up.
“I’m sorry, Avi.” He shakes his head, looking down at his shoes before raking both hands through his hair and weaving streaks of flour through it.
“It’s… it’s okay.” My body finally figures out it can move and I take a step toward him only to have his head snap up to look at me and stop me in my tracks.
“It’s not okay. You have a boyfriend. God, I shouldn’t… I lost my mind there for a second or something. We can just pretend it didn’t happen. Just forget it. Aye?”
I should tell him I wanted him to kiss me, take on some of the blame. It’s not all his fault when I was flirting first. When I started it. But before I can even get a word in, he walks out of the kitchen.
Under my breath, I finally get the words out: “I don’t want to forget it happened.”
And I don’t. Even when he acts like he has.
For our last three days together, we don’t touch and we don’t talk about the kiss. He hugs me on the final day before I get in the car to leave, but it’s different. It’s perfunctory, restrained. Nothing like the hug I want from him. Nothing like the kiss I wish he could give me.
As we drive away, I tell my parents everything, and by the time we get home, I’m ready to break things off with Ian. Never has a single one of his kisses made me feel the way Jamie’s did. Even at sixteen, I know I don’t want to settle for one thing if what I really want is something else, and it’s not fair to Ian either.
I resolve to be single next summer no matter what, and I’ll just have to hope Jamie is too… And maybe, just maybe, we can finally have more than one kiss.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Avonlea – Now
Ican’t say how many times I’ve read and reread the dedication in Jamie’s book, seeing it in a brand-new light. Seeing it with me in mind. And every time, I melt for him.
And that’s dangerous.
I can’t let those old feelings resurface. There’s too much history—even without the secret of Lennox between us. And I’m no closer to telling him than I was on day one.
I felt a little bad canceling our hike for today, but the solicitor for the cottage down the street called and I jumped on the opportunity to see it before someone else does. I’m also afraid of being alone with Jamie for that long… I’d probably blurt everything out in the worst possible way. Or I wouldn’t say anything at all and that might be worse.
When I push my way into the kitchen, I resolve to banish the thoughts. Angus is poring over a ledger at the desk while the kitchen staff moves with precision through the breakfast rush. He doesn’t look up until I put my hand on his shoulder and give it a squeeze.
“Mornin’, lass,” he says, patting my hand with his. His is cold and I cover it with my other one, wishing I could transfer my warmth into his extremities. I never see him without a sweater and scarf now, even on the warmest days or in the heat of the kitchen.
“Morning. You’re sure you don’t mind if I take off to go see this house?”
He nearly rolls his eyes. “Lass, this isyourkitchen and you’ve already got Hamish set up to be here. Why are you asking me?”
I look at Hamish and he shoots me a wink. He has it under control.
Pinning Angus with my gaze, I slide into the seat opposite him. “Maybe because you’re sitting here like a damn mother hen.”
He hums at that. “Old habits and all. I’m excited you’ve found a place for you and Lennox, I hope it works out. Though, we’ll be sad to see you leave the inn. Having you around all the time sure brightens up the place.”
I tuck my chin into my chest, the sincerity in his words bringing warmth to my heart… and my cheeks. I never received praise or compliments from my own grandfather, not even when we were on good terms, and certainly not after I got pregnant. And now I never will.
