“You can’t avoid this forever, sweetheart,” Mum says, placing her hand on my cheek. Dad said his goodbyes already and is waiting for her in the car. It’s Sunday and they have to head back to Glasgow for the week, leaving Lennox and me to feel out this new living situation on our own before they come back Friday night.
“I know, Mum. I just want to get through these next few days with Lennox and then I’ll tell Jamie. If he didn’t figure it out by just seeing him…”
Her knowing look cuts me to the quick. She knows me too well—that this confrontation is something I always hoped to avoid and yet here I am with it looming over me like an incoming storm.
But if it’s going to be a fight—and I can’t imagine another way it could go—I don’t want Lennox around to witness it. It’s myfault that we’re in this state of limbo, that I didn’t tell Jamie sooner, but I need this week to go smoothly for Lennox.
“I’ll tell him. I will,” I insist, lifting my chin and feigning a confidence I don’t feel. “After Lennox goes back to Glasgow.”
“Alright,” she says, admitting defeat. “If you need us earlier for some reason, just call. You’re not alone in this, Avonlea.”
“Thanks. And thank you for this weekend. I’m really glad you were all able to be here.”
“Me too. It was nice to come back—make some new memories to erase some of the hurt… you know?” She pauses to look around us and then glances back at me with a small smile. “Of course you do. You’ve been doing the same thing. I’m glad your father and I have a reason to come to Skye again. I’ve missed it.”
“I’m glad too.” I pull her in for one last hug and then, with a small wave, she joins my father in the car.
I’ve had weeks to acclimate to being back in Cluaran, to regain some of the positive feelings I used to have for this place before everything happened with my grandparents. But Mum was thrown into this trip with very little warning. And though I worried it would be too much for her, she embraced it. Not that I missed the longing in her eyes when we’d pass the farm—the place she’d grown up and spent so many years of her life.
We’re creating a new life here now and we’re not going to let the past hold us back.
I skip up the porch steps to find Lennox playing his Nintendo on the couch.
“Hey, bud.” I plop down next to him and ruffle his hair. “What would you like to do today?”
He shrugs—focusing wholly on his game—so I use my hand to block his screen. “Hey!” he screeches, attempting to pull it away. I laugh and keep moving my hand to block it until he finally looks up with annoyance.
“Come on, give me five minutes. What do you want to do today?” I ask again.
His gorgeous green eyes bore into me—exactly the way Jamie’s used to—and I push back a lock of hair that’s fallen into his face so I can see them better.
“Could we just have a chill day?” he asks. “I’m tired after our hike yesterday. Maybe we could go to the inn later or something?”
“I’m tired too,” I say with a yawn, then lean my head over to rest on his. “Old Man of Storr was pretty cool though, right?”
It was Dad’s idea to pile into the car for a hike and a picnic, and once he got Lennox on board, there was no changing their minds. Even though pulling into that parking lot felt like a gut punch and looking out across the beautiful view tore at a wound in my heart I thought was long healed.
The last time I went on that hike was with Jamie. The time we spent together—barricaded in the back of the campervan to avoid the rain—had been a dream…
I wish we could’ve stayed in the bubble, lived in that dream, because less than twenty-four hours later everything came crashing down.
Yesterday was emotionally draining as well as physically exhausting. But since no one aside from me and Jamie knows what happened that day, I kept my happy face on, shutting out the memories that bombarded me with each step.
In the quiet of last night though, it flooded back and I remembered it all. Every moment, every detail, every touch… And it felt like my heart broke all over again.
“Aye, it was cool. Can we go again this summer? I want to explore more.”
“Of course, bud, we can go on a bunch of hikes this summer. Maybe go out to the Fairy Pools?”
“Oh aye, that’d be cool!” His wide smile stretches his face, a smile that also reminds me of Jamie. I hadn’t realized how similar they were until I saw them almost side by side the other night. How he didn’t see it I don’t know, but I’m glad for it.
“Alright, I’m going to read for a bit and you can play your game. Dinner at the inn sound okay?”
I don’t feel like cooking, and as I’ll be back to my chef duties tomorrow, I might as well enjoy one last night off for the week.
“Aye, cool.”
Aye, cool—the ultimate ten-year-old response. I ruffle his hair one more time and watch him fall back into his game with ease. I settle into a chair across the room and pull my book onto my lap. Jamie’s book.
