The rain has relented some, but not so much that we aren’t hustling to get to the car. I’m glad I thought ahead and brought the Land Rover around to the front of the inn so there’s no need to run through the garden to the cottage.
I jog to the passenger side—pleased with myself that I went to the correct one on instinct—and open the door for Avi. She gets in quickly and I close the door before hastily making my way behind the wheel.
As soon as the doors are closed and the sound of the rain on the roof encloses us in the space, an awareness blooms between us. She’slooking at me. I’m looking at her. The air in the car feels thin as I attempt to pull it into my lungs.
“You know, Freya was right,” I say with a wicked smile, “you aresmokin’ hotin those boots.” I deepen my accent to match that of the older woman.
The girlish giggle that leaves Avi is the sweetest sound, and with it I turn the key in the ignition and drive us into town.
Soul Mio is the one little Italian restaurant on this part of the island. I figured it would be a nice change from the pub food we’ve both become accustomed to. My runs around the village have become much more frequent than my routine in Tahoe ever was, all to burn off the fried fish and chips, heavy meat pies, and stews.
It’s delicious, but damn.
“How’s Nox doing?” I ask from across the table, ripping a piece of bread from the chunk in the middle and dipping it into a mix of balsamic and olive oil. I ask about him in some capacity every day, but I don’t know how much is too much. I never know if I’m overstepping.
“I talked to him before I left and he said school was okay this week. He—well, he told his friends about you.” She glances up and the look on her face is… wary?
“Okay…” I say, unsure what the problem is. Honestly, I’m kind of flattered he’d want to tell his friends about me after only knowing me a week. But then I remember what he said about getting suspended. “Oh right, the fight. It was about you… and me.”
Avi’s mouth pops open. “He told you about that?” she asks.
“He did, that day on the roof.” I scrub my hand against the back of my neck. “He told me some kid said he was an orphan becauseyou’d left him… like his dad.” I swallow against the bad taste the words leave in my mouth. “I just didn’t know at the time thatIwas the dad in question. God, I hate that for him.” I say the last sentence under my breath, but Avi catches it and reaches across the table to lace her fingers through mine. I hate it for me too.
“You didn’t leave him, Jamie.” Her eyes blaze and emotions war on her face. “You aren’t to blame for not being there. That’s all on me. I should have told him sooner. I should—” She squeezes her eyes shut and drops her chin.
“We don’t have to keep doing that,” I say, clutching her hand in mine, a reassurance for us both. “The ‘shoulds.’ They don’t help us move forward.”
She blows out a breath and shakes her head slightly. “I guess you’re right, they don’t.”
We order and eat our meals with easy conversation. We talk more about her time in Paris, my books, Tahoe, even Rory. She seems a bit sensitive to that particular subject, and though I’m glad she cares enough to be jealous, I realize I’m going to have to clarify just how much Rory is like a sister to me—that she is very happily taken by a strapping Australian. I don’t ever want Avi to feel insecure about my friendship with Rory. That’s a conversation for later though, as we sink further into the opportunity to catch each other up on the lives we’ve missed these last ten years.
Our fingers are interlaced once again on the drive back, resting on her thigh—her very bare thigh, which makes focusing on the road very hard for me. It makes other things hard too. I breathe through my nose to stop my body from reacting to her, but instead, her scent fills my nostrils and it only makes it worse.Fuck.
“To the inn, or I can drop you at home and you can get your car in the morning?” I ask, wanting the opportunity to drop her off. To maybe kiss her goodnight—without the prying eyes of my grandparents or the inn’s visitors.
“Home, I think,” she says with a squeeze of her fingers in mine.
Watching her long legs stretch for the ground as I open her door, skirt hitching ever so slightly higher on her thighs, is a sweet torture. When her hand slides into mine, I clench my jaw to keep from taking what should be a wholesome kiss to end our first date to something nearly feral.
We reach the door and the glow of the porch light illuminates her hair, tumbling over her bare shoulders, her back… her breasts.Dammit. Oh, and the freckles across her face as well. She’s…
“Beautiful,” I say, pushing her hair behind one ear with my fingers, letting them brush the arch just enough to make her shiver and step into me. Her body brushes mine and every nerve ending ignites.
Her eyes drift closed, lashes fluttering against the skin that’s dappled by her freckles, and her breath quickens. Her hand comes between us and presses into my sternum, and the warmth over my heart makes me lean in, but she pushes ever so slightly.
I pause. “What is it?” I ask, searching her face.
Her eyes open and I wish I could read her mind. She takes my other hand that’s still in hers and places it overherheart. I can feel the rapid beat against my palm. “I’m scared, Jamie.”
The bravery in that statement—to tell me this—knocks the breath out of me.
Shesoftens her voice and as she speaks I understand why. “I’ve been here before. I’ve been on this side of things.” She’s softening the blow. The blow to my heart as she lays bare the hurt I caused her. “The side where I’m not going anywhere, but you are, and I don’t know if I can do it again. I—”
“Avi.” I push her hand tighter against my chest so she can feel just how hard my own heart is beating. I hate that I hurt her—that she has lived for eleven years believing I didn’t want her. “I’m scared too. But walking away from you is the biggest regret of my life. It is not a mistake I plan on repeating. Not now, not ever.”
Her eyes search mine for a moment—two—the silence between us filling with my desperate need for her to find truth in my words.
Please believe me, Avi.
