“Thanks for coming,” I mumbled.
“How could I pass up more quality time with Margot?”
Despite my best efforts, a smile cracked across my face. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Only for you,” he replied.
I tried not to think too much about what he meant.
“You’re probably freezing,” I said, arching a brow at his still-dripping hair.
“Good point.” Before I registered what he was doing, Teddy scooted beside me and draped an arm across my shoulders. “That’s better.”
My shivering finally ceased beneath his warmth. I couldn’t fight the way his presence made my muscles relax, or how the lavender-and-sherbert streaked sky forced me to lean my head against him. All I wanted was to forget everything for five minutes and watch it be overtaken by twilight.
But my thoughts refused.
“How much did you hear?” I asked, suddenly twelve and meeting Teddy in the alley after one of my parents’ blowup fights.
“Enough.” His arm stiffened. “He was wrong, M. You know that.”
The rich, honeyed lilt of his voice would’ve been a balm for my wounds if they weren’t already so deep. My father’s words continued to play on repeat, sharper and more stinging each time. “It’s always been so easy to upset you, sweet pea.”
I knew I was tough. No one got as far as I did, as young as I was, without beingtough. Even before he left, I held my life together with nothing but grit and sheer will. Some would call it growing up too fast. I called it survival.
The rational part of me knew I couldn’t be blamed for the consequence of his absence. How else was I supposed to behave, when I raised myself and became an adult at fourteen?
I never considered the alternative until now.
Maybe hewasright. Maybe he never came home because ofme. It would finally explain the inexplicable: my mother’s distance from me, and his returning to town as if nothing ever happened.
The thought landed like a fist to the sternum. My chest tightened until each breath scraped the inside of my ribs.
“What if it’s my fault?” I whispered, quiet and ragged and nearly carried away by the wind.
Teddy’s eyes were sharp as he took my chin and pulled my face up to his. If I wasn’t falling apart inside, I would’ve admired the strong slope of his nose or the new scar just over his right cheek. I struggled to avoid looking at his lips even as tears threatened to fall.
“It was never your job to make him stay,” he replied. “He’s yourfather, Margot. Out of everyone, you should’ve been able to depend on him.”
And then, cradled in Teddy Bowman’s arms while we sat on Seaglass Beach, I cried for the first time in over a month.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
It was Fallfest, although it didn't look quite right. The air smelled too sweet—cinnamon and kettle corn and something burnt underneath. Every lightbulb on Main Street hummed like it was about to explode.
Dad was there, standing by the dunk tank in his best shirt, a ribbon already pinned to his chest. He shook hands with no one, laughing at a joke I couldn’t hear. Every time I blinked, he was greeting someone else. The faces kept changing, but his smile didn't.
“Ready, kiddo?” he asked, but he wasn’t talking to me—he was talking to his reflection in the dunk tank water.
I turned, and Mom’s bed was right there, between the cider stand and the hay bales. The covers were pulled to her chin. She was staring past me, toward the Ferris wheel spinning too fast, lights blurred into a single ring of gold.
“They’ll have apple cider this time,” I said, the words echoing like I’d said them a hundred times. “The hot kind.”
She didn’t respond. Her face sank deeper into the pillow until it was just fabric where her head should be.
I looked down and realized I was holding a paper cup of cider, but it was cracked, leaking between my fingers. I kept trying to fix it—pressing the seams together, holding it tighter—but the liquid kept spilling out, hot and sticky.
People started to notice.You’re so lucky to have a dad like him,they said, though their mouths didn’t move. Their voices were too bright, like the music on parade day. I nodded, because that’s what I was supposed to do, and smiled even though my teeth felt loose.
