I quickly yank it out of his grip.
“You’re a Liminal,” he says in a soft tone.
Light and dark cannot touch what is ambiguous.
Silver’s words come back in stark clarity.
I’m not light, but I’m also not dark. I’m the in-between.
The result of a Veil mother and a Noctryn father. Something that shouldn’t exist.
I stop pacing. “If that were the case, the regiment would have figured out that my mother shacked up with a dark wielder theminute my results came out after the trial. They’d have already arrested her.”
“It’s one of the ways a Liminal can be created, but not the only way,” he informs me. “Being the decorated officer she is, I very much doubt any suspicion will be cast in her direction on that front.”
I stop and stare at my best friend.
It’s slightly confounding how my heart can be so resolutely frigid while my blood burns like the firepits of hell. Betrayal sits heavy in my gut. Regret mixes with the stark blue irises of the eyes I’ve dreamed about most of my life. I’m an idiot. To think I was ever enough for him by just being myself.
“You kept this from me for years,” I accuse, stepping back. I need distance between us.
The shadows dance in the dark corners of the alcoves, and the tapestry closest to us moves as if there is a breeze. The temperature feels like it’s dropped ten degrees in the last few minutes. I wrap my arms around myself, seeking warmth from the frigid hall and even colder betrayal settling into my bones.
Ambrose just stares at me. As if he’s trying to memorize the lines and curvatures of my face. He doesn’t, however, disagree.
“Stay the fuck away from me,” I seethe, pointing my finger in his direction.
I am coming undone.
A lifetime of crafting myself to their standards, of repressing little wants and desires that scared me in their depths. I always feared something was off about myself. The love of solitude, the violent tendencies when my anger became too much, and the feeling of always wanting more than what was being offered. Turns out I had a reason to be suspicious of it all.
“Nori… please,” he begs, extending his arm toward me.
“Stop.” I hold my hand up. “Everything you say to me is a lie. Stay away from me, Ambrose, and forget I even exist,” I order, retreating backward.
I angrily wipe the tears streaming down my face with the back of my hand.
He doesn’t get to see them. He’s taken enough.
I spin on my heel and flee down the corridor, leaving my heart shattered at his feet.
Chapter thirty
The dark classroom hugs me like a desperate gulp of air. I didn’t want to stay in my room, afraid he’d seek me out again. I can’t face Ambrose right now. I’m still so raw and fragile that I feel like one wrong word, and I’ll splinter.
The empty Apothecary class is my current refuge. The faint smell of herbs and potions floats through the air. There are numerous bookshelves stacked with old tomes that are filled with recipes. Some for healing, others for mayhem.
Depends on your mood, I guess.
A few of the walls have smoke stains from the centuries of alchemy performed in this room. There are a few cauldrons across from me, filled with a foul-smelling substance. Every so often, a bubble will form and pop within the concoction, breaking the silence that’s keeping me company.
I trace my finger over the carving that’s etched deep into the old table I’m sitting at. Sleep has eluded me for the past few weeks, and I’ve been in a constant lull of mediocracy.I’m passing classes, but just barely. I haven’t died in the practice drills with Corinne yet, but I’ve also made very little improvement. I’ve had absolutely nothing in the manifestation department occur. I’m just surviving at this point.
Barely.
And most definitely not thriving.
Ambrose has tried to corner me any chance he gets, but by sheer willpower, I keep evading him. Finnley and Mallory are concerned, but they give me the space I so desperately need. Kingston has been oddly absent during most of our shared classes and from my combat training sessions. I’ve been sitting in Shadowcraft, watching others hone their skills and being tossed around like a rag doll in battle defense tactics by Corinne. Or whoever she chooses to accompany her during the training.
