When I come back, I see she's laid a few things out on the desk. Small strips. A little testing kit. A clipboard.
I watch as she dips a strip into the cup, then places it on a paper towel. She asks me more questions about my medical history, but I can barely focus on answering. My eyes are fixed on those little sticks.
Dr. Tanner looks over the sticks one by one.
"Well," she says, turning back to me. "That confirms it."
"Confirms what?" I ask.
"So, I noticed there were some changes to your uterus. It feels slightly enlarged. And your cervix is a little softer than expected."
"Wait, does that mean?—"
"Yes, you're pregnant."
"I'm sorry?"
She coughs. "You're pregnant, and by your reaction, I take it you didn't know."
I open my mouth to speak, but I can't. I'm just at a total loss for words. So many thoughts are running through my head.
"I need to be honest with you, however—the bleeding is concerning," she says. "It could be normal spotting, which happens to many women in early pregnancy. But it could also indicate an early miscarriage or an ectopic pregnancy, which is very dangerous."
I nod, medical training kicking in despite my shock. "I understand."
"I'd recommend going to a hospital for an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy and make sure everything is where it should be. Preferably tomorrow, if possible."
"I think..." I hesitate, almost laughing at the absurdity. "I think they have one downstairs."
Dr. Tanner looks at me with disbelief. "An ultrasound machine? Downstairs? In this house?"
"It's a long story."
She laughs. "Yes, everything about the Killaney family tends to be a long story."
I find myself smiling despite the chaos swirling inside me.
She walks to the door. "I'll ask Declan to bring it up."
"Wait," I blurt. "Don't tell him what it's for. Not yet."
She stops. "Okay."
She opens the door and calls for Declan.
They talk and five minutes later, he wheels in the portable ultrasound on a small metal cart.
"Unbelievable," Doctor Tanner says, looking at it. "You've got everything here."
"Anything for Lyra," he says and looks at me.
As the doctor turns it on and I wave Declan over. "You can stay here. Hold my hand."
He does as he sits beside me on the bed. "Are you sure you're okay? Does anything hurt?"
"I'm fine," I say. "Don't worry."
But the truth is I am worried. What if it's a miscarriage, or worse, what if there's no heartbeat, or nothing to see.
