"I don't know." I rub my chin, frustration building. "I got mad. We haven't really talked about it."
"But she's there," Keira points out.
"Yes, but not like you think. She avoids me, looks lost, not present. I don't know, and I can't exactly chase after her right now." I gesture to my side.
"But she's still there?"
"Yes, she did say she wants to just work, get a new place."
"But she's still there, you idiot."
"You keep saying that."
"Dude," Keira says, leaning into the camera, "what woman do you know who isn't into a man would stick around like that? I mean, there's these things called hotels, Declan. There's these buildings where?—"
"I know what a fucking hotel is."
"She cares for you," Keira says firmly. "A lot more than you realize, so either you man up and fucking confront her, or take it as a sign to move on."
I stare at my sister's face on the screen. "It's complicated."
"Uncomplicate it, then."
"How? She says she can't give me what I want?"
Keira nods. "What is that?"
"A baby?"
"Okay, I can't fully unpack that right now, but, Declan, do you want to be a father right now?"
"No."
"Okay, so shut up. We've got a lot of more important things right now. We need you focused 100%. I need you focused 100%. So, you need to make a decision and make it right."
She glances at something off-screen. "Anyway, I've got to go. First charity event of the season, and one of our closest partners is hosting it, so I've got to get ready."
I nod absently, processing what she's saying and how I feel about Lyra.
"And I can tell you're not even listening to me right now so bye."
"I am."
"No. You're thinking about her. Handle it. I love you, bye."
The screen goes dark as she hangs up, leaving me alone with my thoughts. If I do tell Lyra how I feel, really tell her, she'll just reject me. Bring up this whole "I can't give you what you want"shit again. But the truth is, I want her. Want her more than I've ever wanted anything in my life.
Look at me. I'm mad, pining. And not once have I thought about kicking her out. I'm upset, but it's because I'm hurt. I want to pin her down and tell her she's enough. More than enough. That she's everything.
Fuck this.
I push myself up from the couch, ignoring the pain that shoots through my side. I've been shot, stabbed, beaten half to death more times than I can count. This? This is nothing compared to the thought of losing her before I ever really had her.
I move through the house and find her in my library, curled up in one of the armchairs, a book open on her lap. Her hair is pulled back in a messy bun, and she looks fucking beautiful like always.
She looks up as I approach, and for a split second, I see something flash in her eyes, something that looks a lot like what I'm feeling. Then it's gone, replaced by her mask.
"Declan." She closes the book. "Do you need something?"
