“After?”
Blair’s smile felt like sitting by a fire under a warm blanket.Like coming home and leaving the world’s worries and stresses outside the door.Jake marveled at how a single smile could do all of that, but there it was again: he trusted Blair.
“What’s your last name?”
Blair grinned.“Blissett.”
Blair Blissett.Even his name was happy.Hopeful.Jake shifted his gaze to the menu board, and the name of the café handwritten across the top.
Jake chuckled, waving his arm to encompass the coffee shop.“Bliss Beans.”
Blair’s grin widened into a blinding smile.“You got it.”
Blissfit Blair.At least, fit the first impression Jake had of him.That he was one of those sunshine-y type people who saw the positive in everything.One side of Jake’s mouth tipped up in an attempt at a smile.He slipped his hand into Blair’s as easy and comfortable as though they’d been holding hands their whole lives.
“How do you do that?”Jake mused, not realizing he’d spoken his thought aloud until Blair turned a questioning look on him.He cleared his throat.“Uh ...Make me feel like there’s hope on the worst day of my life?”
“There is always hope,” Blair said with all the sage wisdom of someone well beyond his years, and solidifying Jake’s image of him.
Blair led Jake down the sidewalk and around the corner to Davie Street, where they hopped on an eastbound bus as a light rain began to fall.A dozen minutes later, they disembarked in Yaletown and walked another block to a local community center.
The look Blair sent over his shoulder at Jake was reassuring as he steered Jake into a large meeting room.Chairs set in a circle that took up most of the room sent a sliver of apprehension shooting through Jake’s veins.He jerked his gaze away, toward the back corner of the room that sported a kitchenette with two fridges.In front of a wall of windows that reflected the interior back to him was a large table with plates, cutlery and glasses stacked at one end, and an eclectic collection of food containers spreading across the center as though spilling from a horn of plenty.A crowd of mostly men and a few women, ranging in age from teen to senior, mingled and chatted amiably.But what had the air freezing in Jake’s lungs and a chill of panic racing up his spine was the welcome sign on a floor stand just inside the door.
Blair had brought him to a support group for people living with HIV and AIDS.
Jake’s lungs released and he gulped in air, but it wasn’t enough.His breath hitched and heaved, coming faster and shallower.Holy fuck.I have HIV.His head swam and his vision wavered.Christ.I’m going to pass out.
Hands gripped his biceps, firm and steady.Blair’s youthful, elfin face formed in front of him, his words low and soothing and somehow guiding Jake back to earth, even though he couldn’t make out a single word.All he knew at that moment was that Blair was there.Blair had him and wouldn’t let him spiral down the endless rabbit hole of despair.
Jake’s gaze darted around the room, expecting everyone to be staring at him.Mocking him, even.But they quietly continued their conversations, as though knowing Jake needed space to find his equilibrium again.
“Hey,” Blair said, his voice pitched low.“Right here.”
Jake met russet-brown eyes framed by impossibly long black eyelashes and fell into their warm depths.A safe harbor in a new and frightening world.Jake inhaled deeply, the tightness easing from his chest and the fog clearing from his mind.
“There you are,” Blair said.
He slid his palms down Jake’s arms, but Jake gripped his hands before Blair let go, afraid he’d shatter apart without that calm connection.
“Sorry,” Jake breathed.
Blair shook his head.“You have nothing to be sorry for.This is a safe space.”
Jake nodded, taking another deep breath.He could do this.Blair had been living with HIV for fourteen years and seemed happy and healthy.Surely, he could too.Right?
“Okay.”Jake reluctantly released his death grip on Blair.“I’m good.Thank you.”
Blair put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a reassuring squeeze.“You’ve got this.”
A bell jingled, drawing the attention of the small crowd.A tall man, casually dressed in jeans, a heather-gray henley, and orange sneakers, stood at the edge of the chair circle with a little silver bell in his hand.He wore a kind smile on his face as he watched everyone settle themselves in the chairs.
“Come on,” Blair said, threading his fingers through Jake’s and guiding him toward two empty seats.
Jake sat beside Blair but didn’t let go of his hand.The only thing keeping him from bolting out the door, running home, and burying himself under the covers until this nightmare—where Andy cheated and dumped him for another man, and left him with an incurable parting gift—ended.
All eyes turned to the bell ringer as he sat in a chair directly across from Jake.
“Welcome to Bright Light, an HIV and AIDS support group,” the man said.His voice was soft and carried a note of kindness.“For those of you new to the group, my name is Trent.I’ve been living with HIV for eighteen years and running this support group in one form or another for seven years.”
