Once Lyra sees herself out, I scoop Natasha up in my arms, set her on the edge of the bed, and spread her legs.
“I can’t have my wife getting stressed,” I say, lifting the sundress and pulling her panties to the side.
I delve my tongue into her delicate folds, and her body relaxes, as it does when I attend to her.
But after a minute, she tenses back up again, pushing my head away.
“How am I supposed to relieve your anxiety if I deny me access to your tense muscles,” I jape.
“There’s something I haven’t told you,” she says quickly.
My heart skips a beat. “What?”
“I’m not on birth control.”
I get up and take a seat next to her on the bed. “I guess that never really came up.”
“Derek and I were going to try for a baby right away. I love kids, and we wanted to be young parents. At first, I didn’t think about pregnancy because it was never a worry of mine.”
“If it makes you feel any better, it’s still not a worry of mine.”
She looks askance at me, distrusting.
“If you get pregnant, so be it. We’ll figure out a way to raise the child. You’ll want for nothing, and neither will he…or she.”
She swallows hard. “I don’t want some shared custody situation. If I have a child, I want a family.”
“If you’d like, I can make an appointment for you to get on the pill right now.”
Her shoulders slump, and she runs her fingers through her chestnut brown hair.
And because I’ve gone all-in on ‘crazy’ the last week, I follow up with, “But I’d rather you not.”
Now her head snaps in my direction. “What?”
“It may sound crazy to you, but you’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to a real relationship. Sure, I’ve had girlfriends, more than I can count, but there was always an understanding. They were there for my family name, and I was there for the heat between their legs. With you, it’s different.”
“Things are different for me, too,” she says.
I snicker. “Because you’ve never had to go without ‘love’ before.”
“No, because I never knew what it was like to fall in love.”
I furrow my brow, unable to comprehend what she’s just said.
“I’ve known Derek since preschool. I’ve loved him for as long as I can remember, and I thought that was good. But it’s not.”
“How so?”
“I never really felt the passion for him that I feel for you. I wanted him in my life, always. I thought about waking up to him each day, raising our kids together, traveling…but there was always something missing. I didn’t know that until I met you.”
I look down at the floor, shocked by her revelation, and more than a little afraid.
Afraid because the very real possibility exists that I love her too.
It would be easy if she wanted money. We’d do our time, piss off mom and dad, and part ways. But love makes this difficult. My parents will forgive a marriage and quickie divorce. I’m not so sure they’d forgive my lasting marriage to a school teacher.
If I had any sense, I’d send her on her way right now and have her served with divorce papers as quickly as they can be drawn up.
