“Yeah,” he answered, giving an exaggerated, dreamy sigh. “He was so cool.”
“But you always said that guy reminded you of me,” I commented as I remembered, furrowing my brows together.
Turning toward me in his seat, he stared at me with his signaturehow can you be so stupidexpression. “… Yeah. Exactly.”
Feeling heat rise up to the surface of my skin, I cleared my throat, keeping my eyes straight ahead on the road. Through my peripherals, I could see his smug expression fade into one of absolute adoration, like he was gushing about me in his head. “Are you going to be like that the whole time?”
“Like what?”
Like the most insanely fucking adorable person that had ever or would ever live. “Looking at me like that.”
“I’m just happy.”
“It really makes you that happy to be crammed up in some cheap hotel room with me for the weekend?” I asked. I couldn’t help it. It seemed unfathomable that someone like him could be so enthralled by that idea.
“Yeah!” His answer was unapologetically enthusiastic, but he also sounded confused by why I would even ask.
“But why?”
“Because it’s you,” he answered, before propping his knees up onto the dash and plopping down a bit further into the seat. “What do I have to do to make you understand that I like you? Rent out a billboard?”
“I…” I stopped, shaking my head. These conversations always made me so twitchy and dizzy, like I couldn’t handle all the conflicting emotions in my brain at once. “I know you’ve said that, but…”
“Kieran, I want to be around you all the time. I think about you all the time. Isn’t it… I mean, don’t you feel like that for me, too?”
The automatic urge to lie, to try and make him think that he wasn’t constantly in my head, burst to life in my head and wanted to shoot out from my mouth. But the vulnerability in his voice, like all his happiness for the rest of his life hinged on my answer, stopped me cold.
I swallowed hard, but it felt like my throat was coated in glue.
“You know I do.”
“So-”
“But that doesn’t mean it’s right, or that we can do anything about it.”
“But don’t you…” He stopped, and turned away from me to stare out of the window. “Never mind.”
“What?”
“I don’t want you to be mad at me,” he said.
“I don’t get mad at you, okay? If I’m pissed off, it’s because of the situation.”
“Don’t you think that the fact that we’re always thinking of each other, and always want to be around each other means something?”
His words hung in the air like heavy fog until they seeped into my brain, swirling in there until I could think of what to say.
“It doesn’t mean anything. I’d have to be blind not to be attracted to you, Jordy.” And deaf, and with no sense of smell or any brain function whatsoever. “And I’m not blind. You’re… Gorgeous. And smart and funny and sweet. Of course I want to be around you. It’s not some cosmic mystery.”
Why those feelings were mutual and he wanted to constantly be around mewasa cosmic mystery, but leaving that part out made my argument a little more feasible.
When he didn’t answer for a long time, I was forced to glance away from the road to look at him.
“What?” I asked, immediately snapping my eyes back to the road. His syrupy sweet expression was going to make my dick hard. And that was the last thing I wanted when trapped in a tiny inescapable space with him.
“Nothing,” he said quickly, probably sensing the mild panic in my voice. It seemed like as soon as he could tell I was upset, he shifted into this perfect little comforting presence to calm me down, even if it was just for a second. The logical part of my brain knew that was exactly what I needed in a partner, but life just couldn’t be that easy. “It’s just nice. I’m really glad you feel that way about me.”
“Well, I’m not,” I couldn’t help but answer gruffly.
