We took our time wandering through all the exhibits. I patiently and intently listened as he read all the info plaques out loud for each animal and display, letting him make observations without rushing him along. It was cute, way cuter than I expected, to see him so excited as he chattered out facts, many of which were from his own mind and not from the little info plaques. Despite the killer looks, he really was just a scholarly little nerd. It was stupid how fucking adorable it was.
One exhibit had touch tanks with stingrays, sea urchins, and anemones, which he insisted I take part in, despite my reluctance. Manfully suppressing a wince as I dipped in my hand to stroke over the various cold and slimy creatures, I dishonestly nodded when he asked me if I liked it.
Eventually, toward the end, we got to the love exhibit the attendant had described. The information in this section was all focused on courting and mating rituals between the various animals. Penguins even gave each other gifts, which was pretty cute.
“Do you ever think about how alphas and omegas are more like animals?” He mused, kneeling down in front of a huge tank, waving to a penguin as it lazily floated by.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, like… A lot of animals mate for life, like how we do. I don’t mean betas can’t love each other, or stay together forever, but… They don’t get what it’s like for us,” he finished softly, wrapping his arms around his knees.
“I’ve never really thought about it,” I said honestly. But he did have a point. “Does it bother you?”
“Being an omega?” He asked, glancing up at me.
“Yeah.”
He shook his head. “No. I mean, there are pros and cons, but I am what I am.” I was afraid of what those pros and cons might be, so I didn’t ask. “Does it bother you? Being an alpha, I mean.”
Exhaling, I considered his question. The idea of being honest scared me, so much that my stomach started to writhe like it was full of fluttering birds.
“Sometimes,” I finally admitted.
“Really?” He sounded surprised, but not judgmental. But I hadn’t expected him to judge me. He never did. “How come?”
My fingers twitched, my hands flexing into fists as I tried to will off the unbearable feeling of not wanting to answer.
“It’s just hard sometimes.”
“Because of me?” He asked, rising to a standing position and moving closer to me. It wasn’t often that he looked and sounded so serious, and because his gaze was so intense, I found myself unable to completely lie.
“It’s not your fault.”
He frowned a little, his brows drawing together as he reached out. My pulse jumped and I had to pretend my feet were glued to the floor to keep from backing away as he grabbed each of my hands in his.
“Am I making it better or worse for you?” He wondered. The contact of his palms on mine was so hot I could feel myself flushing, despite everything we’d done already. Holding hands was nothing. But sometimes even the most casual contact with him felt like it could burn me alive.
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I can’t tell anymore.”
“You…wantto be around me, right?”
“Yes.” That answer, at least, was easy.
“I know you feel like you shouldn’t,” he said. His voice was so soft and soothing, it was like a balm applied straight to my nerves. How could someone who was so good at getting under my skin and stressing me out be just as good at calming me down? “But… We agreed you would forget about that for now, right?”
“Jordy.” I breathed out his name as he closed the last little gap between us, rising up on his toes to wrap his arms around my neck. “I’m trying, but…”
“I know. And I know that you don’t want to tell me whatever it is that’s holding you back, and I understand. We’ll just… Do whatever you feel okay with. Okay?”
“Shouldn’t I be the one saying that to you?”
He smirked a little before answering. “Why, because I’m a virgin?”
“Right.”
He shook his head a little, his blue eyes dancing with amusement at my question. He made me feel likeIwas the damn virgin, like I had no clue what I was doing with any of this. I felt so clumsy, like he really was the porcelain angel sculpture with the delicate crystal wings, ready for me to fumble and ruin at any moment.
“Don’t think of me like that.”
