“It’s different,” I insisted. “Being a couple is…” Real. “There’s an expectation of the future, and… And…” I trailed off, unsure how to expand on that thought. Being a couple meant we were really looking each other in the face and saying that we’d like to stay together forever and never break up. It wasn’t a guarantee,and people broke up all the time, but to me there was no point in trying to be a couple without that one very basic prerequisite. We wouldtryto make it work forever.
“You can’t see yourself having a future with me?” He asked, but his tone made it clear he didn’t really have concerns about what my answer would be. As always, he wasn’t like me. But of course he wasn’t. Why would he have any worries that he could make me happy? That much was obvious. I was the one that had to worry that I would end up disappointing him.
“I’m not saying that.”
“So?”
“Have you really thought about what a future with me would be like?”
“Yeah,” he answered instantly. “I’ve thought about it a lot. It’s what I want.You’rewhat I want,” he added, turning his head into my neck to nuzzle at my skin, which felt stupidly good.
It was like my body was completely attuned to him, to react only to his voice and his touch and his scent. A wave of yearning for him smacked me, settling down into my core until I found myself squeezing him, pressing my face into his hair.
“Kieran, are you hard?” He asked, and I could hear the smug, playful note dripping from the question. I cleared my throat, rolling my eyes up to the clear sky.
“I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
He laughed a little, before reaching up behind him to nudge my face down into a kiss. I lost myself in the feeling of his lips, absorbing the sweet taste of his mouth and the devoted way he opened up for me. His skin was warm and soft everywhere we touched, his bare back a smooth expanse I couldn’t help but want to be pressed against.
He wanted to be a couple. He wantedme. Or at least, he wanted what he knew of me. For now. But for once, I couldn’tbear to focus on my uncertainty. It felt too good to just pretend like I believed everything would work out.
“Hey, get a room! There are kids here!” A harsh female voice scolded us from what sounded like way too close. My eyes snapped open, and noted a middle-aged woman standing just a few feet from our umbrella, her arms crossed over her chest.
“Sorry,” Jordy apologized with that trademark angelic tone that was really just ironic once you got to know him like I had, and I stayed quiet as he untangled himself from my arms. I tended to just make awkward situations worse by getting pissed off and snapping, or just unintentionally saying the wrong thing altogether. “We’ll be more mindful,” he added, when she continued to state disapprovingly at us.
“Well, you better, or I’m going to report you to the lifeguard. There are kids here,” she repeated, before stalking off, probably to bitch about us to whoever she’d come with.
Jordy chuckled and then sighed, wiggling away before turning to face me.
“Oops, I kind of got us in trouble.”
“That part was a team effort,” I said. But now that we’d been noticed, I felt prickly and uncomfortable, like everyone’s gaze was boring into me like a tiny needle. I hated being watched.
He seemed to notice my discomfort right away, and tilted his head as he stared at me.
“Well, wedohave a room, you know,” he pointed out, his sweet little voice ripe with naughty intention.
“Are you all beached out?”
“I think I’ve had my fill,” he said. “Especially now that we’re on someone’s radar,” he added, smirking a bit. “Wanna do it in one of those little shower stall things?”
“Uh…” Glancing behind him, I watched as the woman who’d scolded us looked in our direction again, like she was waitingfor us to do something she didn’t like so she could throw a real tantrum. “Probably not a good idea.”
Not to mention we’d already rolled the dice once with fucking on this beach, but at least that had been when it was pitch black and empty. I wasn’t trying to actually get arrested for public indecency. I could only imagine what a pleasant phone call that would be to Chester and my mom.
“Do you want to take a shower together in our hotel room, then?”
We hadn’t done that yet, and the thought of a warm, soapy, slippery Jordy was more than appealing.
“On the basis of conserving water?”
“On the basis that I want to fuck,” he said, blinking slowly at me as he gave methatexpression. The corner of my lip perked up even though I tried not to let it.
“Yeah, okay.”
I’d never thought about the concept of ranking weekends before, but if I wanted to start now, this one felt impossible to ever top.
JORDY
