You’re so fucking pretty, Jordy…
Even just the memory of Kieran’s hot breath panting out against my neck had my blood tingling and my dick perking up. The way he’d groaned out my name, with that unbelievably sexy deep voice, while he’d been rutting his hips against me… And yeah, the part where I’d come all over myself from his hand barely stroking me. That part was particularly memorable.
I’d fooled around with guys at school, a little, but something about Kieran made it a billion times hotter. Maybe because he was a billion times hotter than any of the guys at school were. I was always having fantasies about running my tongue over his tattoos. Among other parts of his body.
The way he’d groaned my name had sounded so incredibly desperate and haunted. I’d never heard Kieran talk like that before. Like he was coursing with poison and I was the antidotethat he would die if he didn’t get. Like he’d been obsessed with me for as long as I’d been obsessed with him.
And just when I’d been ready to drop to my knees and take his cock into my mouth… He’d passed out in my bed. I’d had to smack the shit out of him to get him conscious enough that I could drag him into his own bedroom. At least I didn’t need to feel embarrassed about how fast he’d been able to get me off, since he didn’t even remember.
Not exactly the ending I’d wanted, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered now is that I knew he wanted me. Or at least, he wanted me when he was drunk. It would take some investigating to figure out if those feelings extended to a less inebriated state. But I was willing to conduct as many experiments as I needed to.
My dad and Crystal, who I now called Mom, had gotten married when I was 12. I liked her right away, and didn’t really feel the resentment I know some kids could feel when a parent remarried. I loved my first mom, and I still missed her all the time, but my dad hadn’t been doing that great on his own. And I thought living with another boy around the same age as me would be really fun. And it was, mostly. But after about a year or so, my feelings toward him had become a little more complicated.
Kieran’s background was massively different from my own. While I’d been going through the devastating ordeal of my mom’s death, he’d probably been wishing his dad would just die in some accident or something, instead of coming home and tormenting him and his mom. I’d never talked about it with him, but I remembered my dad sitting me down pretty early on and explaining some of the bad things that had happened, to be sure I wouldn’t ask any potentially awkward or painful questions.
The first few years after they’d moved in, he’d had nightmares all the time, almost every night. One night it got so bad that I couldn’t stand listening to his tortured sounds, and I’dended up slipping into his bed and cuddling under the blankets with him. He never had bad dreams when I was there. But right after he’d presented as an alpha, he’d told me I had to stop doing that. At the time I’d thought maybe it was because he was embarrassed about needing comfort, but now I thought maybe it could be something else.
It probably wasn’t normal for me to feel this way, but I really missed that warm, secure feeling I always had when I was so close to him. And it was probably cliché, the middle class golden boy suburbanite who’d always gotten straight-A’s and honor roll having this embarrassingly intense crush on the broody, tattooed guy who’d come from a broken home. So I was a cliché. I didn’t care.
Kieran was the one thing I’d always wanted that I’d been pretty sure I couldn’t have. Now I wasn’t so sure. And he’d called me Angel. That alone made me want to squeal into my pillow like the main character of a lame teen romance movie.
The way my mindset had shifted made me realize that every time I’d ever gone on a date with a guy, or kissed one, or even pondered the idea of getting to know them, it was with the caveat that I couldn’t be with who I really wanted. The second I’d realized that maybe Kieran was harboring feelings for me, my interest in any other alphas had completely vanished.
Was I being dramatic and rash over a little bit of making out and one sloppy, drunken handjob? Probably. But I had the tendency to be very single-minded. And I was used to getting the things I wanted.
WHEN I WOKEup a few hours later, I still had a good little bit of time before Dani would be coming to pick me up. I lounged in bed for a while, scrolling on my phone and watching videos until I felt like actually getting up.
Because I didn’t particularly care to impress anyone who would be at the party, I just pulled on some jeans and the varsity jacket I’d earned running track. It was summer, but with the way people kept their A/C cranked up to what I considered arctic levels, I usually wore a jacket wherever I went.
As I made my way down the stairs, I noticed Kieran sitting at the kitchen table with his back to me. A little grin perked up the corner of my mouth as I slowed my steps so they would be silent. Carefully letting my sock-clad foot lightly touch the kitchen floor, I held my breath so he couldn’t hear me. I was always trying to sneak up and startle him, but it never actually worked.
“Don’t,” he warned. I paused in my movements, unsure if he was talking to me or maybe to his phone or something else. But when he slowly turned to make direct eye contact with me, I sighed. “Just stop trying,” he advised, like always. “You will never be able to sneak up on me.”
“I wasn’t being quiet?” I asked, trying not to pout. He didn’t shave every day, so his jaw was already stubbled with dark hair. I kind of loved when it was like that. I wanted him to nuzzle into my neck again so I could feel it scraping against my skin.
He gave me a slightly amused look, shaking his head a little. “You were quiet.”
“Then how come you heard me?”
“Don’t worry about it,” he said, before suddenly looking me up and down, his eyebrows furrowing. “Are you going somewhere?”
“Oh, yeah,” I answered, glancing down at myself. I would have usually been cozied up in my jammies by that point in the night. “Dani’s picking me up. We’re meeting her new boyfriend at a party.”
Moving to the refrigerator, I pulled out one of the meals I’d prepped at the beginning of the week. I knew my family wouldhave been willing to adapt to the diet I was forced to have if I’d really wanted them to, but I hated the idea of making anyone conform to something just for me. Most of the time I just ate my own thing, and they ate theirs.
“What party?” He asked, and even though I wasn’t looking at him, I could practically feel unhappiness radiating off him. He was always so incredibly predictable. “Kevin’s party?”
I used to think that Kieran was just nosy, because he was always asking me who I was texting or where I was going. But now I was starting to think that it was more of a jealousy thing. I didn’t mind that. And especially now, when I could use it to my advantage.
“Yeah.” Popping the little pre-portioned container into the microwave to warm up the skinless chicken breast and brown rice, I went back into the refrigerator to pull out a bag of salad.
“Chester knows you’re going?”
“I texted him about it.”
My dad was overprotective, but he trusted me. As long as I was willing to give him the address to the party so he knew where I was at. And as always, I had to promise that if I started to feel even a tiny bit off, or if my glucose levels fluctuated too much in either direction, I’d come straight home. The usuals.
“Jordy, those guys are fucking idiots. They only go to parties so they can drink and get their balls drained.”
