I nodded. I always attempted to keep the painful memories of being silenced tucked away under my assertiveness and confidence, but some people knew my breaking points. They knew how to make me feel worthless or useless, and in the end, I’d given in.
“I wanted to study art. I wanted to create. But I went to business school instead.” I let out a quiet sigh. “My father thought it was the smarter choice: more stable, more promising, reliable. And maybe he was right.” A small, bittersweet smile pulled at my lips. “I don’t resent him for it. Not really. But I wonder... sometimes.” I felt Beckham watching me, but I kept my gaze on the artwork in front of me. “Now, I do what I can. I help those who feel unseen, who’ve been told their work… their voice doesn’t matter, who’ve been silenced. I give them a space to exist… to be seen, to make themselves known through their art.”
Beckham stared at me, almost as if he’d finally understood a part of me.
I guess I could argue that I understood a part of him too. I knew he viewed his art in a way I’d probably never understand. I knew it was his way of communicating, his way of being, his way not to feelsilenced.
Looking into his eyes, his dangerous, mysterious, understanding eyes, I felt indifferent. Torn between my rational, judgmental thoughts that scolded me for being here and the growing feelings that had begun accumulating for the troubled artist.
Giving into temptation was scary, allowing for one’s deepest desires, thoughts, and feelings to surface as we explored the danger we craved. It was also exhilarating. It made us more alive. It contributed to our purpose for simply being. It ignited the flame inside us that was put out by others in our lives.
I guess that’s why a hint ofdiscretionis always needed: to keep the tempting thoughts, desires, and feelings a secret.
Voices signaled other patrons’ approach, so I pulled away from Beckham and took in a deep breath. He lowered his hand but didn’t say anything, almost as if he was contemplating our unconventional relationship in his mind just as I was.
“I’m just going to step outside for a bit,” I muttered. Trying to soothe my own shaky hands, I left the room and descended the grand steps to go towards the front door.
As I exited, I did my best to control my breathing. I couldn’t admit my emotions for Beckham were growing. Not when I was cheating on my first love, not when he wouldn’t be able to reciprocate the feelings, not when I was still drowning in debt and stress.I felt like I was going to lose it.
Now standing at the bottom of the steps by the main street sidewalk, I was silently going through my racing thoughts. The battling thoughts in my mind, however, were all of a sudden silenced as I heard a familiar voice.
“Rosenna?”I heard beside me, and my eyes widened as I slowly looked over to see Brent, my loan shark and Gavin’s good friend, staring directly at me. My heart raced in my chest as I cleared my throat and tried to smile through the growing anxiety that began to fill me.
“Brent… Hi. I thought you and the guys had an important business trip in Chicago?” I asked as my hands rubbed my waist almost nervously. However, I did my best to remain impassive as he chuckled.
“Had some business matters to come back and attend to. I thought it was you that I noticed coming down the steps. Wanted to be sure.” His gaze lingered for a moment before he looked away. “Not to bring up business or anything, but I see you’ve made another payment. The galleries must be doing pretty well these days, huh?”
I gave a tight-lipped smile as I nodded. “We’re doing all right,” I simply responded, not wanting to give too much information to the man I owed a few million dollars. Speaking to my loan shark about finances would probably not do me much good in the long run, not when he was essentially in control of my financial future.
“By the way, I do apologize for raising the interest. You know how it is…” he muttered.
I simply nodded as my eyes glanced to the entrance of the museum to look for signs of Beckham. Part of me wished he would appear to take me away from this conversation. The other part begged him to stay inside so we wouldn’t look suspicious.
“God, I can only imagine how much you must hate me,” Brent uttered.
I shook my head with a small smile. “I don’t hate you, Brent. It’s just business.”
“Business... right. It’s just that I know you’ve been working endlessly to make the payments, and I understand how frustrating it may be, handling everything on your own.”
His voice was low, laced with concern, understanding almost and something I couldn’t quite pinpoint. I almost felt my heart skip a beat as he approached and rested a hand softly on my upper back.
Looking up at him, my mouth went dry as he gazed down at me. A small shiver ran down my back as his eyes held a rather… indistinguishable emotion.
“Really, Brent, I’m fine,” I replied, trying to hide my growing confusion and hesitation.
He hummed. “That’s what I told Gavin. Landing Garcia’s son as a client will surely put you in a better financial situation. Regardless, if there’s anything you need, anything at all… remember you can always call me. I may be your lender, but I hope you’ll still consider us friends.”
I swallowed, the polite smile frozen on my lips. “Brent... you don’t need to—” My breath hitched as he rubbed his hand on my back, cutting my words off.
“I insist.”The gesture was friendly…It had to be.Yet the way his eyes narrowed in on me, his proximity, his way with words… it left an unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach.
The hand on my back lingered for…just a second too long. His fingers barely pressed into my spine, his touch light, almost absentminded, like he wasn’t even thinking about it.
Sure, he was a “friend.” I’d known him for years. But before I would consider him my acquaintance or buddy, I knew his loyalty was to Gavin first.Something felt off.
“Rosenna…”a voice cut through the silence beside us, and the hairs on my neck stood as Brent’s hand from my back lowered.Hisfootsteps approached us, and I gulped softly as he came into view.
“Brent... it’s good to see you,” Beckham said with a smile, and another shiver ran down my back as it sent a feeling of fear within me.
