Chapter thirty
Rosenna
MymindracedasI stood in the bathroom fixing my hair for my dinner night out with Gavin. Dressed in a beautiful off-the-shoulder long-sleeve fitted cream dress, I smoothed it out nervously in the mirror as my heart raced, my fingers trembling against the delicate fabric.
Guilt was building in the depths of my stomach, and I could feel a sense of shame looming over me.
I wish Beckham were just a fling. I wish Gavin were more understanding and forgiving. I wish I hadn’t let my external problems guide my rationale or cloud my judgment.
Because now… Now, I was getting dressed for a date night with my husband when all I could think about was Beckham’s hands. His eyes. His dominance. His sick… sadistic smile. It was all I could think about. I almost couldn’t even sleep in our bed. Not when all I could think about during the night was him using me, not when he’d gotten his wish of plaguing my mind and essentially ruining me for my husband.
Just looking towards the bedroom caused my skin to go hot as I rubbed my neck nervously. It was as if I could still feel his hands on my waist.God, he’s overtaking my entire mind. I could literally cry.
Looking away from the bed, I turned the light off in the bathroom and approached the mirror as I went to put on my necklace.
“Strip.”
The word felt like a haunted whisper… a word that sent chills down my spine as I closed my eyes to rid myself of his presence in my mind as I dug my nails into my palm, my breath coming too fast, too shallow.
“I need you to remember that you belong to me.”
“Do you love him enough to say no to me?”
“Say you’ll leave him.”
I was going to absolutely lose it.
Feeling a warm hand on my exposed shoulder, I flinched slightly and looked in the mirror to see Gavin standing behind me. Clearing my throat, I watched him chuckle as he ran his thumb over my skin.
“Spaced out a bit there, huh?” he said with a smile.
Only then did I notice my hands still held the necklace that I was supposed to be putting on. However, I had sat motionless in front of the mirror as I was lost in my thoughts.
“Just a little bit...” I replied with a small smile as I forced myself to relax, to pretend I could still sink into his warmth.
As I went to put the necklace on, he stopped me and took it from me.
“Allow me.”
I remained silent as he held it in one hand and pushed my hair over my shoulder with the other, leaving my upper shoulders bare to him. He placed the chain around my neck as I watched him in the mirror silently.
Before he clasped the chain, his eyes lifted, meeting my own for a split second before they went back down. Maybe I was imagining it, but his gaze, even for that slight second, was scrutinizing, almost intentional, as if he was trying to understand what was on my mind.
Once he finished, he moved my hair back into place before leaning down and placing a kiss on the top of my head as I pushed away my previous thoughts. I closed my eyes as both his hands ran gently over my exposed shoulders.
“You look stunning tonight,” he complimented, and I felt the guilt in my stomach build once again. His hands ran down my arms, and I watched as he did in the mirror. For a split second, his hands resembled Beckham’s, and my heart picked up at the sight alone.
Gavin leaned down, and I looked over to him. “Thank you…” I whispered, and he placed a small kiss on my lips before he pulled away and rubbed my back twice.
“I’ll be waiting for you downstairs.”
I nodded wordlessly. As he walked out, I let out a breath as my leg shook up and down nervously.
Leaning over, I grabbed my heels, slipping my foot into one and reaching for the buckle. My fingers fumbled with straps, vivid memories ofhimkneeling before me, fastening my buckle with careful precision only to top it off with a delicate kiss to my knee.Almost like he was thanking me for the opportunity.
Sitting up, I breathed in deeply as I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing the memory out.I needed Beckham out of my mind.I was about to have dinner with my husband. To begin fixing things between us. To start fresh. Tonight was about him… tonight wasabout us.
I could do this…
