“Shoot.”
“I-I don’t want you to think I’m pressuring you anything but…” I began, and I swallowed softly, watching as he gave me his undivided attention. “I don’t know, I just… I wanted to talk about when—”
He quirked an eyebrow, telling me he knew where this conversation was going.
“When you think we’d be ready to start trying for a baby?” I uttered, my words hanging in the air, my heart racing as he took a long sigh.
“You’re really bringing this up? We were having a good dinner.”
“It was just a thought.” A stupid thought.
“Rosenna,” Gavin scoffed. “you are drowning in debt. We can barely keep up as it is. You think now is a good time to add a baby into the mix?”
I hated the way he said it. Like I was an idiot for even thinking about it.
“I just thought… I mean, it doesn’t have to be now. But I thought we could at least talk about it.”
“You want to talk?” He spat, “You want an answer? Fine. We’re not ready.”
My throat tightened and I nodded once, because what else was I supposed to say? “Okay.”
As if sensing he’d push too far, he reluctantly stood, stepping over to me before pulling me into his warm embrace. I didn’t want to accept it, but… I honestly needed it at this point.
“I… We just need more time, Rose.” His voice was softer now, calmer. “I’m not saying no to kids; I just want to wait until things are stable.”
I nodded, tears burning my eyes. But I held them back because it was easier than fighting. It was easier to keep my longing for a baby hidden for now. Until things got better… until things were… stable.
Which could have taken forever.
Years ago… I would have been the one begging for a baby from him, begging him to tell me what I could do differently so we could start building a family.
In the past, I would have jumped for joy. I would be over the moon happy that he finally considered me worthy enough in his eyes. But today, I felt indifferent. Over the years, I learned more about him. More about his expectations, his opinions, his beliefs… it was essentially what drove us apart.
Achild, however, was the answer to bringing us closer together. Not accepting my vision to grow my business and not being more compassionate to his wife.Bearing his child seemed to be his answers to our problems.
And now? Why now? In the middle of my infidelity. In the middle of us constantly fighting, in the middle of my possible mid-life crisis… why was now the perfect time to have his baby?
He pulled away after a moment as his phone rang and held his hand up as he paused our conversation for the moment. For a moment I was thankful to the caller for giving me some breathing room—but then I realized who was on the line.
“Brent, talk to me.”
Brentseemed to be another problem I was facing alongside my issues with Gavin and Beckham. Ever since the day I spent at the museum with Beckham, I had been wary of his actions and motives. I didn’t know what to make of our interaction, as well as his interaction with my personal incubus. I knew I was being paranoid, but simply hearing his name caused me a sense of panic, as he was kept catching Beckham and me in questionable but relatively “normal” situations that could potentially prompt a second glance.
Gavin’s eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean they found an escape clause? The contract was infallible.” He held the bridge of his nose between his fingers for a moment, listening. “How long until the revision window closes?” he muttered and looked over at me, his eyes tinged with regret. “We can make it by midnight… I’ll be there soon.” He concluded the call and sighed heavily. “Rose…”
“It’s important. I understand,” I said softly, and he shook his head.
“Thisis important.”
I smiled sadly. “It’s okay, Gav. You can go. I’ll find a ride home.”
Instead of fighting me any further, he pulled out five hundred dollars in cash and held it out to me.
“For the dinner, your ride, and whatever else you want.”
“Gavin, it’s okay—”
“I insist,”he urged.
