Our thoughts blended together, a mix of “More” and “Please” and “I love you, I love you, I love you.” The combined sensations could bring me to climax on their own, and when we fell into bed, a tangle of limbs and mouths and tongues, we explored each other’s bodies like it was the first time. We loved and we caressed and we reconnected in the only way we’d ever known. And when it was over, we fell asleep wrapped around each other like daylight may never come.
Life went on.
True to form, both Bridge and Tita reprimanded my warriors with sternly pointed fingers and a litany of expletives that promised the unholy wrath of hell should they ever think of taking off again. Then Tita served them lemon cakes and hot tea and told them she expected them to come by this weekend to help her rebuild part of her greenhouse that had fallen in during a recent storm.
The other warriors were less forgiving. Leander and Caspian put the Colts through the ringer. Despite explaining what had happened and why they’d left, the warriors didn’t abandon post when things got tough. It was one of their guiding principles. In the end, Atlas and Wes escaped with a severe reduction in responsibilities for up to a year. No missions. No weapons. Supervised reconnaissance only. They’d broken their trust, and it would take a long time to get it back.
Two weeks after they returned, I had Lilith’s blessing to complete the soul-binding ritual on the sacred grounds out in the woods. It made sense. This was where it all began for us, all those months ago when the ancestors plucked their name out of an ancient chalice and tied them to me forever. We’d bathed each other and rubbed protective oils on our skin, pausing at the scars on our chests and palms. We prepared the altar with rue, roses, lavender, and candles. We’d dressed in white ceremonial robes, the same ones we’d used in the liminal, and when the full moon rose in the sky, I sent the guys ahead of me, knowing I needed to make one more recompense.
I went to the small altar I’d set up in my room, the one where I’d placed a small crucifix, a seven-day candle dedicated to the Virgin, a miniature sword, and a tiny plastic dragon. Then, I fell to my knees, clasped my hands together, and prayed.
I’d been so angry at God for so long, but after everything I’d been through, I didn’t see the point. I’d wasted so much energy being hateful, sure that God had fucked up somehow, that His plan for me was bullshit. Now, I understood. Anger into faith. Faith into action.
If nothing else, I had faith in myself. In my warriors. And without God, without the solace I found in this daily meditative prayer, I wouldn’t have been able to do what I needed to do to survive. I’d never been sure if the visions I’d seen at that church in the liminal had been real, but what did it matter? It got me through. It gave me the strength I needed, and for that, I’d be eternally grateful.
So I said my thanks. I told the Virgin my worries. I asked St. Michael for bravery. And as always, I requested that St. Marta guide me. Warmth enveloped me, like They had heard my prayers and given me Their blessing.
Then I went to join my warriors in the woods. I walked barefoot on the dirt pathway that led into the trees, remembering how I’d made this same journey the night they became mine. I’d been terrified, and the same sense of anticipation filled my chest now. That emptiness had gone away with them back, but the parasite remained. The chaos in my hands still shot black, and if this didn’t solve it, I didn’t know what to do next.
Faith, Tita had told me. Have faith.
I clung to those words as I broke through the tree line, but standing around the periphery were other members of my coven. Lilith stood at the head, her hands clasped in front of her. Bridge and Val were off to the right, Circe and Hella to the left. Aradia, Hekate, Isobel, all of them. They’d all come.
“What are you—” I couldn’t even finish my sentence, the shock and surprise rattling my nerves.
“Marta of the Royal Harlots MC,” Lilith said, taking a step forward. “You wish to complete a soul bond with your warriors.”
“Yes,” I said, furrowing my brows. “But I didn’t think…”
“We’re your sisters,” Lilith said, placing her hands on my shoulders. “If this will help you, we’ll help you. It’s a powerful ritual, and you don’t need to stand alone. Never again.”
Tears burned my eyes, and I blinked them back, swallowing down the overwhelm of being a part of a family like this. Even though I knew I’d do it for any of them, their showing up for me like this ached in the best way.
“Thank you,” I said, nodding.
“Chin up,” she said, tucking a finger under my jaw to lift my eyes. “You’ll be okay. We’re here for you.”
She stepped aside, and I walked to the altar, where Atlas and Wes stood, waiting for me. I took a deep breath and began by calling the elements and welcoming the ancestors, asking for their help with this work. Then I cast the circle around us, invoking protection and love and divinity. Once the candles were lit and the full moon beamed down on us, I went to the chalice at the center of the altar and poured some of the wine, having already been blessed and cleansed. I focused inward, trying to find the earth and ground in this, our most hallowed space.
Firelight flickered over my warriors’ faces, casting their features in soft shadows and delicate tangerines. It was time.
“No going back,” I told them.
“I’m ready,” Atlas replied.
“Let’s do it,” Wes said.
I grabbed my knife and pricked the end of my pointer finger, holding it over the chalice when it bubbled with blood.
“By flesh once given, by blood once shed. We summon not, but seal instead. The rift that fed on fear and flame, we close with heart, with soul, with name.” A few drops sizzled into the murky red liquid, but the spell had already started to twist down my spine, tingling in my legs, twisting through my chest and over my scalp.
I handed the knife to Atlas, who opened his finger to do the same thing.
“Three divided,” Atlas said, “now made one. Darkness shared, its rule undone. Let shadow’s reach be spread and small, so none may bear the whole of it all.”
His blood made the same crackling noise as mine when it landed in the mixture, and the magic intensified in my bones, scalding and furious.
It’s working.
