The sting of his righteous fury burrowed in my chest, amplifying my own, making it hum and vibrate with potential. I could tear this place down if I let it go unchecked. In that moment, I thought maybe I would.
“You didn’t have to listen to him,” I said. “You could have… You could have…”
Tears blurred my vision, and my cheeks burned as the weight of their combined remorse pressed on my chest, suffocating me.
What would I have done?
I would have run. If my parents told me to go, I would have gone, especially then. Atlas was twenty, Wes was eighteen. It was their first mission, one they probably shouldn’t have been on in the first place. Xavier was a terrible parent, and it was his fault I’d been robbed of mine.
Perhaps Tita had a point about that, too. Maybe I had only been looking for someone to be angry at, and they were the easiest targets.
But what did any of that matter now? I was bonded to them, as much as I might have hated it. And now, we were stuck in a fucking liminal and we might never get out. A stupid lust demon was banging down every door I tried to open to my coven. Hell, we were lucky the fucker hadn’t gotten into the estate yet. We were lucky it hadn’t figured out a way to claw us to pieces like our parents.
“Sweet girl,” Wes said softly, coming to stand next to me. He pressed his index finger under my chin and lifted my face to meet his, his touch so kind and tender. “We’re going to get out of here. We’ll do the last two rituals, and we’ll claw our way out on Día de Muertos. It’s going to work.”
I swallowed and nodded, wiping the wetness from my cheeks. “I know.”
“We don’t have to talk about it again,” Atlas said, stepping to my other side. He ran a hand over my shoulder, reinforcing the affectionate sentiment coasting through my tether to him.
“Good,” I said before taking a deep breath to steady myself. “Now, about the ritual. We begin at sundown.” I went over everything they’d need to do to prepare themselves. Ritual bath and cleansing, of course, as well as added protective ointments and charms. “Since we’ll be inside, I’m not worried about anything walking in on us, but just in case.”
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Atlas raised his eyebrows, glancing from me to his brother and back again.
“Are you?” I threw the question back at him. It wouldn’t be just me who had to bind flesh. It would be Wes and him, too. Constance’s warriors had been just as involved with each other as they were with her. The Colts had kissed and whispered filthy words to each other at the last ritual, but that was relatively tame compared to what we’d have to do tomorrow. “Sex magic is incredibly potent, more than blood magic. It’s ecstatic. Remember to just…open yourself up to it.”
Atlas nodded and glanced at Wes, who swallowed and shifted his gaze to the ground. The awkwardness of what we were about to do hung between us, but I didn’t let myself focus on it. I gave them both a kiss and headed upstairs, leaving my door open for them to follow.
CHAPTER 19
Atlas
“How are you feeling about this?” Wes asked after Marta left. We sat on opposite couches, facing each other, the weight of unspoken misdeeds hanging between us.
“Scared shitless doesn’t begin to cover it,” I admitted. Maybe I should have been more concerned about…uh…binding flesh with my brother tomorrow, but that seemed like the least of my concerns. What the demon said to Marta hung heavy on my shoulders. The library’s lack of information on liminals and Asmodeus made my hackles rise. It was almost like someone or something had prepped this space for us, removing anything that might be remotely helpful.
“You’ve fucked guys before,” Wes said. “What happens in the liminal?—”
“That’s not what I meant,” I added, clearing my throat and shifting my weight as he raised his eyebrows and looked at me. I took a deep breath and sipped my scotch to tell my inhibitions to fuck right off. “You know I love you, right?”
He opened his mouth, and his features dropped like he hadn’t expected me to say that.
“I’d do anything for you,” I continued. “Anything. But man…I’m telling you. Something is off about this place.” I clenched my free hand into a fist, almost as if I could feel the evil in my blood. “Maybe this ritual helps us, or maybe it makes things worse.”
He scoffed. “Worse how?”
“I don’t know…just worse.” In my thirty-two years on this earth, my instincts had never steered me wrong. My gut usually reacted faster than my brain, and right now, it was telling me to put a stop to all of this. The rituals, the research, our attempts to reach the other side. We were fucking with something we didn’t understand, and as much as it felt great, it made me suspicious. What weren’t we seeing? What was hidden behind our blinders?
“Atlas,” Wes said, drawing my attention back to him. “I’ve always looked up to you. You’re more than a brother to me. You’ve always been…well…everything. I love you more than my own life, and if I have to step in front of every demon in this fucking world to make sure you and Marta get out of here, I will.”
That was his problem. Always so self-sacrificing. Always believing he didn’t deserve the life he had, that he was lower than everyone else. It was something our father had put in his head that he’d never shaken.
The moonlight trickled in through the windows, mixing with the soft illumination of the lamp next to him and making his features even more defined. His strong jaw gave way to the curve of his cheekbones and the delicate beauty of his dark eyes. It was fucked up to want him the way I did, and I wondered how long that urge had been there.
“Stop that bullshit,” I said. “I’m not going anywhere without you. If you’re stuck here, I’m stuck here.”
He laughed and shook his head. “It will be fine. Just…be gentle with me, huh? I’ve never…you know.”
“Oh, I know,” I teased with a wink. “Don’t worry. I have a feeling the magic will make it enjoyable for everyone.”
