Our lips brushed once, tentatively, clumsy almost without the desperate lust driving us like last time, but God, it felt right.
It wasn’t about lust; it wasn’t even about curiosity. It was about not being alone in this. About holding onto something solid when the ground kept crumbling.
And when he finally kissed me back, soft, shaky, filled with desperation I recognized, I knew this was a line we weren’t coming back from. And for the first time in days, that didn’t scare me.
The kiss ended as fast as it started, but it knocked me sideways all the same.
Eli pulled back first, eyes wide, chest heaving like he’d just sprinted a mile. For a second, I thought he’d bolt and run away from what he felt growing between us, but he didn’t move. He just stared at me, caught between panic and relief, like he wasn’t sure if he should apologize or beg for more.
I didn’t let him do either.
I kept my hand at the back of his neck, grounding him. “Don’t,” I said quietly. “Don’t make this into a mistake.”
His throat bobbed, “Trav?—”
“I mean it.” My voice was rough and low as I fought to control myself. “We’ve been holding Frankie together, holding the kids together, but who the hell holds us? We do. And I fucking needed that. And there’s nothing wrong with it.”
He slumped forward again, his body trembling like a coiled spring finally breaking loose. “I didn’t even think about you.” He groaned painfully, “I’ve been so preoccupied with my own feelings and the pain, and stressing over Frankie and the kids and I?—”
“Don’t,” I said again, giving him an out as I stood up, forcing myself to put space between us. “It’s okay. I just needed a second.”
I wasn’t ashamed of it. Not of the kiss, or the closeness. Hell, I wasn’t even ashamed of admitting that I was weak for a moment. Frankie opened a door between us, one I hadn’t seen coming, and I wasn’t about to slam it shut because of pride or fear. Not when I’d felt how right it was.
“Go to her,” He said, rising to his feet and stopping right in front of me. “Sleep at Lucy’s with her, give her what she needs, and get some of this tension out of your body. Settle it by making sure she’s okay. I know you’re going nuts inside there,” He put his hand on my sternum, “not being able to ease her pain right now.”
I groaned, “I don’t want to leave them, I swore to her I wouldn’t.”
“You aren’t,” He reassured, using the pressured dominance I used on him and Frankie all the time. The same dominance they craved from me, and it was weird to be on the other side of it. But I didn’t hate it. “I was already planning to sleep up on the couch in the loft in case they need me, so you might as well go sleep next to her. I know she needs you, even if she won’t ask for it.”
“Are you sure?” I hesitated, and he nodded firmly.
“Let me take it all from you,” He said with a small smirk before he leaned in and kissed me again.
It was new.
And he didn’t linger more than a second or two, like he was testing out if it was an appropriate time to use the move or not, but when he pulled away, I had to fight the urge to pull him back for more.
But he was right. Frankie needed one of us, and even if she wouldn’t ask for it, we could divide-and-conquer right now, taking care of her and the kids.
“Okay,” I backed away toward the closet to pack a bag for the night, “Thanks, Eli.”
“It’s kind of nice being the boss,” he said with a cautious chuckle.
“Don’t get used to it,” I chided good-heartedly.
And within five minutes of kissing my best friend for the first time in a private moment just the two of us, I was rushing out the door to go to our girl to take care of her.
For the first time since the nightmare started yesterday, I didn’t feel like the world was tearing us apart; I felt like maybe it was pushing us all closer together.
Or at least that was what I was going to make sure came of the whole ordeal in the end.
The house was quiet,too quiet. It mocked me. The shadows lurked around me like judges of the night, standing over me and finding me unworthy.
I curled up on the old bed in my childhood room, the same one with the floral wallpaper and creaky floorboards. The same one Emmie slept in when she stayed over with her grandmother.
It should have felt safe.
It should have felt like refuge.
