Sighing, I tried to deflect like usual, “Nothing. I appreciate you watching them for me.”
“Frankie.” He urged, pressing me with the steady firmness of his kind voice. “You can talk to me.” His hand lingered on my wrist, and I didn’t ache to step away like I normally did around men. Part of me evenwantedto be close to him. It was the same way I felt the other night with Travis, watching him help Emmie out on the ice. What the hell was wrong with me, getting my head all twisted around two different men suddenly, after years of indifference. “Please.” Eli added, and I groaned.
“Don’t be kind to me.” I whispered, closing my eyes to all the other noises and sights in the rink. “I can’t do kind.”
“Is that why you fall in line for Trav so easily?” He asked, and my eyes popped open in surprise. One, what the hell was he talking about, and two, why the hell was he talking about it? We were running straight past acquaintance conversation and falling into something that felt way too personal. “Because he isn’t kind?”
“Excuse you?” I asked firmer than I probably needed to, and his answering smirk made my scowl deepen.
“Yep.” He let go of my wrist and sighed, “There it is.”
“There what is?” I asked, putting my hands on my hips, slightly offended, even though I had no idea what he was talking about. The man talked in circles, distracting me with his pretty-boy good looks and charisma. I hated that.
I hated that it worked, even more.
“That wall.” He shook his head, “That impenetrable wall you keep up, forcing everyone to stay just far enough away so you can shoulder everything on your own.”
“Got it!” Toby called out, flying down the stairs at breakneck speed and forcing us to pay attention to him. “Hey! Coach Grumpy!” Toby waved around the jar. “You owe me ten bucks for double no-no words!”
Travis looked over at us, and his eyes went from Elliot to me, standing on each side of the low wall, and darkened, before he turned his attention to my little boy waving the plastic jar around. “I’ll even up after practice.” He called, and his dark eyes traveled back to me before he turned away completely.
“Ha!” Toby chuckled, “Swear jar for the win!”
“No.” I replied, “You’re not charging them for the swear jar.”
“Why not?” Toby whined, “Youhave to pay into it.”
“Because I’m your mom, and I’m desperately trying to be a better person so I can be a good example for you two. Random guys at the rink who are trying to help us out are not going to pay your fee!”
“Aw, c’mon.” Toby whined, walking away down the bleachers in defeat, and then I was forced to acknowledge the six-foot Greek god standing in front of me again, toeing the line of wants and can’t haves with me.
“I think maybe you should take a look around, Frankie.” Elliot said softly, skating backward away from me. “We’re not all just a bunch of random guys at the rink.” His normally kind and cheerful face pinched together like he was disappointed in me. “If you’d stop pushing us all away, you might find that one or two of us could be exactly the kind of example that your kiddos could use.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I pushed, crossing my arms.
Elliot shook his head in frustration. “It means you don’t have to do everything on your own, woman.” He raised his brows pointedly, and I hated how his tone excited me more than it offended me. I’d never seen him be serious before. “You could let a man in and let him take care of things.” He held his hands out, showcasing the way the entire team was rallying, pitching in and helping with my kids in a pinch.
Sure, he was right. Any of the men on the team would be a good example for my kids to have in their lives as my partner, I wasn’t dumb enough to ignore that.
But Iwastoo broken to allow it.
“Sure thing.” I replied, backing up a step and putting my hands in my jean pockets. “I’ll ask Coach Rick out sometime. Thanks for the idea.”
He rolled his eyes but cracked a smile. I could tell he was frustrated with me, men always were, but he was too sweet to hold it against me. Even if I wanted to box his ears for thinking he could be.
“Sure thing, Black Cat.” He replied, using that new nickname for the second time tonight. I didn’t even hate it. “While you’re at it, ask your mom if she’s free next weekend. I’ve always had a thing for sweet ol’ Mrs. Blake.”
I turned away, flipping him off over my shoulder as Toby’s annoying whistle blew. “Bird flying!” He screamed for everyone to hear. “Five bucks!”
I waved him off and hollered back, “Coach Sunshine can pay my bill.”
Elliot’s chuckle from the ice was enough to bring a smile to my lips as I walked away. But only because no one could see it. Couldn’t have anyone thinking I was nice or something.
I eyed the clock again,knowing that if I stayed any longer, the kids were going to be bears in the morning when they had to get up. But I also had a bar full of people and no one to take over for me.
Mom fail number eight thousand.
And that was just this week’s tally.
