The words hang between us like snow in the air.
He crosses to me slowly, stops just out of reach. “You destroyed me when you left. I looked for you in every crowd. I couldn’t sleep because every single time I closed my eyes, there you were. I can’t do that again.”
"Then let me earn you back," I say, stepping closer. "Let me prove every single day that I choose you. I'll stay here. I'll learn to split wood. I'll make those Reynolds family cookies until I get them perfect. I'll?—"
"Kara—"
"No, you need to hear this. I fucked up. I was young and scared and stupid, but I'm not that girl anymore. I know what Iwant. I want Sunday mornings with you. I want blizzards where we're snowed in. I want your grumpy face before coffee and your terrible singing in the shower?—"
"I don't sing that bad."
"You really do." I'm crying now, ugly crying. "But I want it all. Every off-key note. Every flannel shirt. Every minute you'll give me."
The words hit harder than the storm outside. For a second, neither of us moves. Then something flickers in his eyes. It’s grief, maybe, or the ghost of who we used to be, and it breaks my heart.
“I’m sorry.” I meet his eyes. “If I could go back and change it, I would. I’ve thought about it hundreds of times in the last three years. I wish I could go back to that day. I can’t. But I can promise you that I will never put you in that situation again.”
He studies me for a long moment and I don’t miss the tears building behind his eyes. When he finally speaks, his voice comes out rough and gravelly. “We’ll start with three days whether we like it or not. The storm’s supposed to last three days. After that we’ll see.”
A tiny smile tugs at the corner of my mouth. “Okay, we’ll see.”
Rustin nods once, decisive. “You need to get out of that dress. Shower’s down the hall. I’ll find you something to wear.”
The bathroom door doesn't lock properly, but I don’t care. I peel off the soaked dress and let it pool on the floor like a three-thousand-dollar mistake. I pull a thousand bobby pins out of my hair, but the chignon holds without them.The hairstyle lasted longer than the marriage. I’ve got to find out what products she used.
When I step in, the hot water is heaven on my frozen skin, and I moan at the sensation. I stay in the shower for far too long sending every minute of my day down the drain. As I turn the water off, I hear footsteps stop in the hall. I know he's there, justoutside the door. I can feel his presence like electricity in the air. The frosted glass shower door is just clear enough at the top that if he wanted to look he’d have no problem.
"The towels," his voice is strangled, "are in the cabinet."
"I can't reach them from here." It's not entirely a lie. But with him this close, ending my night in his arms is the only thing I can think about. I can’t resist hedging my bet.
For a moment there’s only silence.
“Come on, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” the alcohol makes me brave.
The door creaks open wider. I see his silhouette freeze when he realizes how much he can see. Want flickers in his eyes. But Rustin sets the towels on the counter with shaking hands and turns away from me.
"I'm going to split wood."
"Seriously, it's freezing outside."
"Good." The door closes harder than necessary.
4
rustin
It’s getting late. She’s been here for hours and I can't function with Kara in my house, in my shower, and in my head. I should be checking the equipment shed, sharpening chains, and getting ready to clear the fallen logs on the property tomorrow morning. Instead, I'm trying to shake away the image of her massive tits, sopping wet with rock hard nipples.
I grab my axe and head outside. I strip my shirt off without thinking, desperate for the shock of winter air to clear my head. Instead the cold just bites at my skin. I attack the wood pile like it personally offended me. Each swing splits the logs clean. The rhythm usually calms my mind.
But not tonight.
Tonight through the front window, I catch her watching me. She's pressed against the glass. Her eyes are wide, and when our gazes meet, something shifts in me.Damn it. I can’t quit this woman. I should look away but instead I wink at her and flex as I wield my axe.
She's got no makeup on now and her hair is still damp. My flannel and sweatpants drape over her curves, making her look softer and younger… Like the girl I used to be in love with. The warm glow from the house backlights her, and I can see theoutline of her body through my thin shirt. No bra. Of course no bra. Probably no underwear either.
Her mouth moves. It’s impossible not to remember what that pretty mouth feels like wrapped around my length. She's yelling something through the glass and letting out a giggle. I can't hear the words, but I see the heat in her eyes. I split three more logs in rapid succession.
