When he steps closer to me, I swipe my hands in front of my body, demanding for him to stop. I need to see his eyes when he answers my next question, as that is the only way I will know if he is lying.
“Tell the truth, Ryan. Tell me the real reason you want me to leave and I will go. I’ll walk away and never look back.”I’ll accept Tobias’s offer and save you the shame of admitting you are associated with me.
Ryan’s Adam’s apple bobs up and down before he mutters, “I don’t want this life any more. It’s time to move on.”
I bite my bottom lip, praying the pain of my vicious bite will stop my tears from falling. My efforts are pointless. The honesty in his eyes is more than I can bear. This hurts more than anything. This utterly destroys me.
“If you wanted to move on, you could have just said so. You didn’t have to cheat on me.”
I swear my blood is boiling so furiously I’m moments away from an artery bursting. I’ve never been so angry and devastated in my life.
“I trusted you, Ryan. I believed every promise you spoke because I truly believe you arenothinglike your father.”
My cheeks redden when I lower them down Ryan’s form, praying my hazy mind is making me mistake Carter genes. The man I love is standing in front of me, breaking my heart with every denial he fails to give.
“Clearly, I was wrong. But you don’t use your fists to cause harm. You use your charm.”
The viciousness of my reply shocks me, but with my heart last seen somewhere in Ryan’s backyard, I’m hitting him in the spot I know will hurt him more than anything. I’m comparing him to his father. It is a mean and demoralizing thing to do, but the flicker of candlelight I’ve spotted in Ryan’s window has me overcome with stupidity—like I could possibly be any more stupid.
I want to run away. I want to never see him and his devastatingly beautiful blue irises again, but before I can do that, I must say goodbye. Even though he has torn my heart into shreds, I refuse to be my mother. I will not leave the man I love without saying goodbye to him in person.
“Goodbye, Ryan,” I force out via a sob. “I hope she makes you happier than I ever could.”
I turn my eyes to his window, hating the woman who stole him away from me but also admiring her determination. Ryan is a catch—that is why I panicked when I saw him with Amelia last year. I didn’t want him to be miserable, but I didn’t want to lose him either. I should have just left him alone, then neither of us would be suffering this horrible heartache. He would have never seen the ledger, and I wouldn’t owe him anything for saving my life. We would have existed—miserable, but still alive nonetheless.
Now I get to be miserable by myself.
I return my eyes to Ryan, my heartache so strong it is the fight of my life to issue my next sentence. “I’m not sorry I trusted you. I’m just sorry I fell for the same mistake twice.”
Stealing his chance to reply, I pivot on my heels and race to my car. He doesn’t follow after me.
That hurts more than anything.
* * *
“Does she have to come with us?” I ask, glaring at my mom.
She tried to speak to me when I returned from Ryan’s house over two hours ago, but I’ve been giving her the cold shoulder. She knows the stains on my cheeks aren’t red from being bombarded with unwanted attention. No matter how often I swore their coloring was from the lewd proposition two young movers made while securing the last of our boxes, she knew I was lying. But since the last person I want to speak to about philandering partners is a philanthropist of the club, I’ve kept my mouth shut.
“Once we have everything settled, we’ll work on the rest,” Tobias assures, stepping into the path of the death stare I’m issuing my mother. “Are you sure this is what you want?” His tone is as high as the one he used when I returned to my family estate within twenty minutes of fleeing it.
Tobias was so certain I was running, he set the wheels in motion to move my dad to a safe location without my assistance. I was stunned. With how many police sirens I heard during my short trek from Ryan’s house to my car, I thought he placed a bounty on my head. Just like nearly every day of my life, I was wrong.
The fact Tobias was going to let me fly free made my decision even easier. There’s nothing here for me anymore, so no harm was done when I agreed to his offer. I just hope my face will quell my father’s anxiety while we travel across state lines. I am more familiar to him than his surroundings, so as long as we are kept in close contact, the transition should be smooth.I hope.
“I’m sure,” I mutter, understanding a man as communitive as Tobias won’t accept a half-hearted nod as an answer. “I’ll be there in a minute. I’m nearly done here.”
He crouches down in front of me, the crinkles in the corners of his eyes more apparent in the bare bones of my bedroom. “You don’t have to do this. It was just a suggestion to ease the congestion in your mind. Our brains don’t shut down when our mouths choose not to speak.”
He isn’t referring to the agreement we made. He is referring to the letter I am in the process of writing. It is my final goodbye to Ryan, the words I couldn’t speak hours ago. It is neither pretty nor spiteful. It is just straight-up honest.
“I want to do this as well,” I assure Tobias, my voice more confident than my facial expression. “The people in it may never see it, but I feel better knowing I’ve written it.”
Tobias smiles in a way that makes it seem like I’ve known him for years. The FBI chose well when they made him their main man. He builds trust faster than I can snap my fingers, but not in a “I’ll say anything to get the job done” way. He speaks the truth—sometimes brutally.
He told me why he brought Axel here this evening. He knew Axel was lying when he said everything I had done for his family was of my own free will. My reaction to seeing Axel again proved what Tobias suspected. You can’t trust any man with Petretti blood running through their veins.
It was only after guaranteeing neither Axel or anyone in his family would know our location did I agree to his offer of witness protection. I’m not just spilling secrets about Axel and his scheming ways; I’m sharing information that will have Col Petretti’s second-in-charge walking the planks. I maintained his financial records for over a year; I know way more than anyone realizes. Stuff that will not only financially ruin Col but will take down many of his competitors as well.
