Leaning over, I lower the steamy beverage from her mouth before sealing my hand over her one balled up on the dining table. "I'm not disappointed in you. I'm disappointed in myself."
When her cute little nose screws up in confusion, I clarify, “I should have known what you were doing wasn’t about you. It’s not even about me. It was for Rylee.”
Savannah’s teeth graze her bottom lip as she nods her head. “It’s always been about her, Ryan. Even before she was here.”
“Then why aren’t you doing everything in your power to keep her safe?”
Anger slips down Savannah’s face even faster than the tear descending her cheek. “Iamkeeping her safe. I’m doing everything I can to make sure she is safe.”
Even hating the pain in her words can't stop me from saying, "No, you're not. You're running instead of tackling the issue head-on. Do what you encouraged me to do for years. Don't keep quiet. Speak up. Seek assistance. Stop the cycle. If not for you, do it for your little girl. She doesn't deserve this life, Savannah."
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. There is no cycle to stop.” She stands from her chair so quickly, it sails back and smacks into the drywall. “I think you should leave,” she suggests, moving to the sink to dump her barely touched beverage.
I hate what I am about to do, but I don’t have a choice. Usually, I play good cop while Regina plays bad cop, but since I’m the only person standing in the kitchen, I must play both.
“Did Rylee’s dad hit you?” My voice is as rough as my heart thrashing against my ribs.
Keeping her back to me, Savannah shakes her head.
I cautiously step closer to her, fearful of what her reaction is going to be. I’m not scared she is going to lash out; I’m fucking petrified of seeing the truth in her eyes.
“Did he yell at you? Tell you you’re not good enough?”
Savannah continues shaking her head, preferring to lie without words.
"Did he threaten to take Rylee away from you if you ever told anyone what he was like?"
She stops shaking her head to gasp in a sharp breath.
"That's abuse, Savannah. He's manipulating you. Sometimes that's more violent than fists. Press charges against him. Throw the book at him. Show him you aren't scared of him—"
“But Iamscared of him!” Savannah shouts, her voice loud enough I’m afraid she has awoken Rylee.
Savannah must have the same fear, as her eyes dart to the hallway, only returning to me once she is confident the coast is clear. “He’ll take her away from me, Ryan. He’ll take my little girl.”
I cautiously step toward her with my hands held out in front of my body to show her I mean her no harm. “No, Savannah. I’dneverlet that happen. That promise I gave you years ago now extends to Rylee. I’ll never let anything happen to either of you.”
When she fails to object to my closeness, I tug her into my chest. The white undershirt I wear under my riot gear captures her tears.
"I promise you I'll never let him near Rylee; you just need to trust me, Savannah. Let me in. Let me help you and Rylee. Give me a chance to show you I am the man you remember. I won’t let you down, Savannah. I’ll never let you drown either.”
Savannah hiccups as she struggles to stifle her giggle. Even with tension depriving the air of oxygen, her laughter lassoes a rope around us, tethering me not just to her for eternity, but her daughter as well.
I've never met the little girl I am promising to keep safe, but I don't need a formal introduction to know I’ll keep my word. If Rylee is even one-tenth of the girl her mother used to be, I'll protect her for eternity, because I’ll love her just as long as well.
After tightening my arms around Savannah’s torso, I drop my lips to her temple. “I’ll keep you both safe, Savannah. I just need you to trust me.”
It feels like all of my Christmases come at once when I feel the faintest nod of her head not even two seconds later.
“Yes?” I double-check, mindful my smashing heart might be the cause for her bobbing movements.
“Yes,” Savannah murmurs into my chest, freeing me from the torment swallowing me whole while also adding to it.
I let Savannah down ten years ago; I refuse to do it a second time.
Failure is not an option.
Chapter 20
