“Listen, I need to talk to you—”
“If it’s about our conversation the other day, just stop. I was talking shit, trying to ease your guilt. I’d never fool around on Kristin. You know I think the world shines out of her ass.”
There is an edge of honesty in his tone, but not enough for me to fully believe him. He’s keeping something from me; I’m just unsure if it’s an old affair or new matters he doesn’t want to share.
“I wasn’t calling about that. I’ve got some stuff going on that affects us both, so I figured I should give you an update.”
Dane breathes noisily down the line, but not a peep escapes his lips.
I use his silence to my advantage. I tell him everything: Regan’s threat, my attack on the way out of HQ, and Jay firing at Regan. Then once it is all said and done, I tell him the real reason I called.
“So it isn’t just my head on the chopping block if I go after Theresa. Your position is at stake as well. I know how much your family relies on that money, Dane.”
My hand stops scrubbing my scruffy beard when Dane growls, “Can you stop playing the fucking sympathy card?” He coughs to clear a croak in his throat. “How many times have I told you? You’re not responsible for what happened that night in the field. I got shot, but you didn’t pull the fucking trigger.”
He has said the same thing numerous times the past five years, but I still take blame. He followed me to back me up. That’s how he got shot. If I had acted as an agent that day instead of a man, he wouldn’t be paralyzed from the waist down. It doesn’t get any simpler than that.
“You don’t know this woman, Dane. Theresa is—”
“The spawn of Satan. Yeah, I get it. My brain still works, you know. It is only my legs that are fucked up.” He laughs. I don’t see the humor in his reply. “After our last conversation, I dug a little deeper into the information you sent me. Danielle didn’t seek revenge years later for no reason. She was convinced the time was right. Wasn’t hard considering she is mentally unstable. Out of the past five years, she spent three of them volunteering at a local Christian parish.”
He doesn’t need to spell it out for me. His tone says everything. During our years at the Bureau, we’ve both seen a lot of the “Lord’s good people” who don’t understand that no amount of Bible study will cure a sickness inside someone’s head.
“Regan mentioned something about speaking with Danielle’s pastor in their teen years,” I disclose.
An agreeing murmur vibrates from Dane’s lips. “Yeah, it helped for a while, but the instant she turned eighteen, she went off the radar, and her files were sealed shut.”
My brows stitch. “So how are you aware of them?”
“Let’s just say, the less you know, the less likely you’ll be indicted.”
Dane chuckles. This time, I join him.
“Fair enough.”
Usually, I’d give him a lecture on how we are lawmen before we are anything, but since this concerns Regan, the woman I’d rather die for than live without, I’ll lay down my moral sword for a real weapon.
A few minutes of silence pass between us. I’d like to say it isn’t awkward, but I’ve never been fond of lying.
“Are you sure you’re alright with this?” I ask when the tension becomes too great.
Dane takes a moment to deliberate. I don’t blame him. He has a lot to consider. Agents aren’t paid well in general, but the pittance they pay first-year recruits is woeful.
My heart starts beating again when he murmurs, “Yeah, I’m good. I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve.”
I wait, knowing there is more.
He proves me right by saying, “But I need you to keep that promise you made to me that night in the field.”
“I didn’t promise shit.”
My voice comes out sterner than I intend. I’m not angry at Dane; I just hate being reminded how close he was to losing his life. When we were hunkered down, waiting for the helicopters that never came, he made me swear that no matter what happened, I’d always take care of his girls. I stalled for as long as I could, but the weaker Dane’s pulse became, the weaker my resolve became.
Within a minute, I caved.
A minute after that, the bullets raining down the meadow halted, and we escaped the valley of death we were hiding in. I thought it was a sign that my promise was what saved Dane’s life. I was a fool. His life was spared, but my soul is still hunkered down in that field, striving to find its way back to me.
“I’ll still get him, Dane. I’ll never forget what he did to you.” I grit my teeth hard, loathing the grogginess of my words.
