He steps closer to me, ensuring his words are only for my ears. “Is she innocent?”
My spikes hackle just from him asking. “Of course she is. I wouldn’t be with her if she wasn’t.”
“Then I don’t see the problem.”
My heart rate kicks into gear as fast as my fists clench. “The problem is, you haven’t met Regan. She’s stubborn, fierce.”The fucking love of my life.
My dad’s smile reveals he heard the words I didn’t express. “She sounds just like your mother.”
“Precisely. That’s why I can’t do this. You saw what it did to Mom. You nearly lost her. Don’t make me suffer the same fate.”
“Your mother and I have been together for over thirty years.”
“After she nearly died—twice!” I lower my voice, which lowers the number of inquisitive eyes glancing our way. “I’m not you, Dad. I wouldn’t survive seeing Rae go through that.”
He does a good job hiding it, but I see the pain in his eyes when he says, “You think it was easy for me? Those where the hardest years of my life, but lessons were learned, sacrifices were made. We’ll never make the same mistakes again.”
“No, we won’t. Because I won’t let them happen.” My eyes dance between his, which are now wetter than they were when he arrived. “Tell your colleagues I said thank you and that I appreciate the opportunity, but I’m not accepting the position. I’m doing what you should have done for Mom. I’m putting Regan first.”
He’s stiffer when I hug him this time around, but I don’t hold back. Men in our industry lose their lives every day, so I’ll never say goodbye without ensuring he knows what he means to me.
Just before I pull away, he yanks me back. “I’m proud of you, Son.” The crack of his words nearly have me coming undone.
“Right back at ya.” I squeeze him extra tight before pushing off my feet and charging for the door.
The instant I step onto the cracked concrete outside of my office building, the weight I expected to lift from my chest when Theresa was removed from her position finally shifts. My exchange with my dad felt wrong but right at the same time. Wrong because I feel the promise I made to Dane slipping from my grasp. Right because everything I said to my dad was straight-up honest. Regan needs to come first. She comes before anything and anyone.
Even me.
23
Six hours and not a single shred of evidence. I’ve used every resource at my disposal, and I’ve yet to find a single fucking piece of intel on Alex. I’m not talking evidence to convict him for life; I’m talking anything. There are no driver’s licenses, no electric bills. Not a single thing. His apartment isn’t even registered in his name. It is as if he doesn’t exist.
How can I catch a ghost in the act if he’s invisible? It’s impossible!
I slump into my office chair with a groan. I’m exhausted, both physically and mentally. I’m also slightly hormonal. Most of my lie in the washroom earlier today centered around fleeing Alex’s touch before my stupid ass libido could overrule my astute head, but a very small portion of it was true. I’m not PMSing, though. I’m ovulating. I’m one of those weirdo creeps who can tell when her egg is about to shoot out of her ovary because I get a little cranky, a whole lot horny, and a bit more slimy downstairs.
Sorry, I know, too much information. It was just another example of how stupid I’ve been the past week. Even with having the Depo shot, if I notice even one of the three signs I announced earlier, I don’t let a man within two feet of me. 99.9999% is not 100% accuracy, so you can be damn sure I’ll never risk being in the 00.0001% category of women who get pregnant on contraception.
Did that thought enter my mind this morning when Alex and I smeared the sheets with more than just frosting? Yes, it did. Did I listen to the warning alarm sounding in my head? No, I didn’t.
See? What more proof do you need about how stupid I’ve been?
I stop reprimanding myself when the buzz of a doorbell ricochets through my apartment. It could be anyone, but considering it is nearly 11 PM, and I failed to update Isaac on my return to Ravenshoe today, I’m reasonably sure it is the one man I never want to see again. The one I want to hurt as much as he’s hurting me.The one I’d give anything to wake up tomorrow morning and find out this is all a lie.
I hate what this is doing to me. I’m a confident, fierce woman who is letting a man crumble me into half the woman I am. I’m stronger than this, and I will survive this.
With sheer determination guiding my steps, I exit my office, dash down the hall, then climb the three stairs of my foyer. I don’t look in the mirror like I usually do before greeting guests. I know what will reflect back at me, and I’m not willing to let that woeful wallflower waste another minute of my time wallowing in self-pity.
A manly scent smacks into me when I swing open my apartment door. The virile scent scarcely registers on my libido’s radar. It’s struggling to ignore something much more tempting than the scent of an alpha male on the hunt. It’s fighting to contain the lips wrangling her into a submissive, no backbone loser.
Alex is kissing me. Not a little kiss. Not one I’ll forget within the next week or the next year. He’skissingkissing me. A kiss that makes me forget all kisses before it. A kiss that ensures I’ll never forget him and the impact he’s had on my life.A kiss that breaks my heart even more.
He nips, and he bites, and he holds me captive without a single part of his body touching mine other than his mouth. It is awe-inspiring and devastating at the same time. Is it possible to love and hate somebody at once? If you had asked me last week, I would have laughed and said you’re questioning the wrong person. I’m incapable of love. Now I wish Alex had never re-found my heart. I wish he had left it buried deep in the hole I shoved it in eight years ago—because living without a heart was better than living with a broken one.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you,” Alex murmurs over my lips. “Is that corny for me to admit? Does it make me a soft cock to say I’ve been dreaming about your lips, taste, and smell the past seven hours?”
When he steps back, I drop my eyes to his chest. I’m strong, but I’ll never be strong enough to look him in the eyes without feeling like an idiot. The drop in my gaze reveals more travesty. He’s come bearing gifts. He has ice cream, two tubs of Chinese, and a giant slab of milk chocolate.
