I lift my head off his chest and look into his transfixing eyes. “That night was better than anything I could have dreamed. Because you didn’t know I was a virgin, it was void of the awkwardness I’d been prepared for. The fact you didn’t treat me like porcelain made it so much better. I couldn’t have entrusted a better man with the task. Not many virgins get knocked-it-out-of-the-park sex on their first try. I not only got that, I orgasmed too.”
I become light-headed from the broad grin etching on Hugo’s face. “That just proves I fucked up,” he says, his voice not as strained as it was earlier.
My brow arches high into the air. “How?”
“You can’t get any better than a home run, so I’ve got no chance of topping that,” he says with a waggle of his brows.
I laugh. “I’m sure you will find a way,” I say, stretching onto my tippy toes and sealing my mouth over his.
He found a way to beat it. Not once, but twice.
Twenty-Six
Hugo
Two weeks later….
“Come on in, Hugo.”
My eyes lift from the outdated magazine in my hand to where the voice is coming from. A lady with short brown hair offers me a reassuring smile while gesturing for me join her at the end of the hall.
“Avery Clarke. It is a pleasure to finally meet you in person, Hugo,” she introduces herself before gesturing for me to enter her cramped office with a wave of her hand.
I run my sweaty palms down my trousers before entering the space. Bland, whitewashed walls, a cream shrink couch and a large blind-covered window makes her new office one of the most boring spaces I’ve ever encountered.
“A little bit of color wouldn’t go astray,” I mumble under my breath, my mood surly at being forced to attend therapy against my wishes.
“Sorry? What did you say?” Avery questions, closing the door behind her.
I shrug my shoulders. “I didn’t say anything.”
She smiles a tight smile before gesturing for me to sit. My eyes drift around the room. Other than a clinical-looking shrink bed in the middle of the space, there is a wooden desk and a leather chair squashed in the far corner of the room.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” I say, rushing to the door.
Not giving her the chance to reply, I dash into the even more outdated foyer of her office building to collect an empty chair. Avery’s brow arches when I walk back into the room carrying the chair in my arms. Placing the chair down at the side of the space, I drag her faded leather chair to sit across from it. Once I have the space set up in a less depressing configuration, I take a seat. A whizz of air escapes Avery’s nostrils before she gathers a yellow-lined notepad from her briefcase and sits in the leather chair.
“Are you comfortable?” she queries, staring into my eyes.
“I am now,” I respond, crossing my arms in front of my chest. I’m not trying to intimidate her. I just want to ensure she knows I’m not here of my own free will.
“Before we get started, I want you to be fully aware that anything you say within these four walls…”
“Will remain in these four walls,” I interrupt, not needing the same rundown I’d been given in Afghanistan.
She smiles, seemingly pleased by my response.
“Is there anything you'd like to discuss today?” she asks.
She tries to keep the optimism out of her voice, but I didn’t miss the increase of huskiness in her tone. I turn my gaze to the large window displaying the sun hanging high in the sky. It’s very rare for me to see the midday sun anymore. With my new job, I’m normally arriving home as the sun is rising. I wake Ava up with a mug of coffee and a few kisses, see her off to work, then I crawl into bed, where I stay until the sun is setting.
The past few weeks with Ava has been staggering. The best weeks of my life. I’ve never felt as content as I have the past few weeks. I always said I wasn’t interested in a relationship, but knowing Ava is waiting for me when I come home is the only thing keeping me going. We have a vigorous sexually-sparked relationship, but it is the quiet times when I watch her sleeping do I realize that isn’t the only connection we have. She is the anchor tethering me down during a storm. She is the yin to my yang. And as much as this makes it sound like I’ve awoken with a vagina, she has stolen my heart.
To be honest, after our first weekend together, I was worried my nightmare would have scared her away. But surprisingly, the twinkle her eyes get every time she looks at me didn’t dampen at all; if anything, it grew stronger. Although I knew my nightmares would eventually return, I hadn’t had one in months, so I was unprepared for how hard they would rattle me once they did return. That nightmare was by far the worst one I’ve endured, as no matter how much Ava denies it, I didn’t just scare her that night, I hurt her.
My nightmares are the reason I’ve stuck to my exhausting schedule, working sundown to sun-up seven days a week. Although Isaac is adamant I can choose my own schedule, I can’t run the risk of falling asleep with Ava next to me. That nightmare wasn’t the only one I’ve had the past two weeks. I’ve had them numerous times, some more violent than the first. By sticking with my current working arrangement, I’ll be able to see Ava while also keeping her safe. I'll do everything in my power to keep her safe.
I shift my eyes back to Avery. She is watching me cautiously, but stays quiet. The fact she doesn’t push me to talk eases my agitation.
