Hugo yelling my name and begging for a chance to explain bellows into the cabin when Marvin enters the cab from the opposite side. Marvin’s tone comes out rough when he recites my address to the driver, but thankfully, he spends the entire trip back to my house giving me the silent treatment. I spend the drive gathering my skewed composure, bottling it away for another day, not to be used until I'm alone and without the fear ofrepercussions.
Chapter Eight
Hugo
Everything’schanged.
“Ava!” I shout, shrugging out ofChase’shold.
My steps to the quickly retreating taxi are sluggish, weighed down by the heaviness of my maimed heart. Seeing Ava’s tears hurts more than I could have ever imagined. Knowing I’m the one who caused them makes the deathly tight grip on my heart even firmer. It killed me seeing the tears streaming down her ashen cheeks. I just want the chance to wipe them away. To beg for forgiveness. To explain what happened. Why I did what I did. But I didn’t even get to say hello…orgoodbye.
I crouch down on the ground still misting from the heat of the taxi’s engine and run my shaking hand over the top of my head. I don’t know what I was expecting. I knew Ava’s reaction wasn’t going to exactly replicate my mom’s, but I was hoping it was going to follow a similar path. That she was going to have happy tears flowing down her face, not ones filled with heartbreak and despair. In all honestly, on the drive here, I was hoping Ava had moved on, was married and had kids. Because if she did that, I would’ve known I didn’t shatter her heart and break her spirit. I was hoping my absence would have only caused a little ripple in her pond of water, not a tidal wave. But from the devastated look in her eyes when she banged her fists on my chest, screaming about the hell she’s been living in, I realized my prayers were left unanswered, just likeAva’s.
I’ll admit it, it felt like a grizzly bear was clawing my chest when I noticed the sparkling diamond ring flickering on her ring finger. But that was nothing compared to the pain I felt when Marvin clutched Ava’s waist. That grizzly didn’t just maim my heart, he ripped it out of my chest and shredded it topieces.
Chase squeezes my shoulder before squatting down in front of me. “Give her some time, Hugo. It’s been a really long, and now emotionallydrainingday.”
It’s been the longest fucking day ofmylife.
Chase stands before me offering me his hand. Snubbing the guilt creeping into my veins, I accept his hand. A sharp jolt of pain rockets through my shoulder when Chase clasps my hand in his and yanks me from the ground.Pain is good. A reminder of how farI’vecome.
“Getting a bit soft in your old age,” Chase jests, noticing the wince I failed tostifle.
“Something like that,” Ireply.
He curls his thick arm around my shoulder and guides me back into the house. My mom’s eyes are plagued with red rims and tears. My dad is still shocked, his hand rattling as he sips on the glass of water Helen gave him. I can’t believe after all this time I thought nothing would have changed. Everything has changed.Evenme.
* * *
“You’re fucking kidding me!”I say, my words barely audible from the breathy chuckle escaping my lips. “It’s exactlythesame!”
Chase nods his head and laughs. “Mom didn’t want to change anything,” he says, placing my overnight bag onto my childhood bed with its camo bedspread. “Even Jorgie’s room is the same,” he says, his tone moresomber.
It doesn’t hurt hearing Jorgie’s name as much as it normally does, since it is coming out of Chase’s mouth. I have to remember I’m not the only one who loved and lost Jorgie. Everyone in this house did too.Avaaswell.
“How long has Ava been engaged for?” I ask. I try to get my tone neutral, but it slightly smears with agitation. Out of all the men in the world, I can’t believe Ava paired up withMarvin.
Chase’s face scrunches. Apparently he isn’t a fan of Marvin either. “From what Helen told me, it only happened last week. Ava hasn’t officially announcedityet.”
My lips quirk. Sensing my piqued interest, Chase glides his blue eyes to me. Although his eyes are creased with wrinkles I’ve never seen and his jaw covered with a thick beard, he is still the same Chase who stood by my side when Hawke married Jorgie five years ago. The same Chase who dared me to eat a bee to see if it tasted like honey. He is my brother. Myblood.
“Fuck. I still can’t believe you’re here,” he says, disbelief inhistone.
A whizz of air escapes my nose. “You’re not theonlyone.”
“You missed so much, Hugo.So much… Jesus, what Ava went through. Fuck. You havenoclue.”
I do understand what Ava went through. Leaving her broke my heart too. Losing Jorgie gutted me. Losing Avadevastatedme.
“Don’t expect her to just forgive you, Hugo. It isn’t that simple. You didn’t just walk away leaving her with a broken heart. You shatteredhersoul.”
The constrictive hold strangling my heart strengthens. “I know, Chase. I live with the guilt of what I did to hereveryday.”
He runs his hand over his tired eyes. “It’s been a long ass day. I’m tired. You look dog-asstired.”
I throw my head back and laugh. Chase has always beendirect.
“I’m heading out. If you’re not busy tomorrow, come and meet your nieces,” hesuggests.
