I jolt Joel in my arms, replicating the shuddering of an engine. A large grin carves on my mouth from the hearty chuckle bellowing fromhislips.
“Prepare for crash landing, select emergency fuel,” I say, my voice mimicking the helicopter pilot in the movieThe Day AfterTomorrow.
Joel squeals in excitement as we race through the living room, zooming around the couches and past the antique clock. He holds his arms out like a plane, making engine noises with his lips. When I round the rock-hard couch I slept on a week ago, our makeshift plane crashes to the ground. I roll and land on my back, ensuring Joel lands safely on my chest. A rush of blood surges to my heart when he giggles loudly into my chest before wrapping his arms around my torso and snuggling inclose.
“That was the best game ever!” he screams at the top of his lungs, his voice coming out in a flurry, overcome with excitement. “Can we do itagain?”
I chuckle. “Yep, just give Dad a minute to recover, and we’ll get this bad boy back into the air,” I say, my tone hiding the grimace crossingmyface.
Joel nods his head against my chest before cuddling in deeper. Joel is as light as a feather, but my shoulder has been giving me grief the past week. I could ease the stabbing pain rocketing through my body by taking the pain relief tablets Dr. Jae prescribed. But with the box clearly warning that side effects may include dizziness, tiredness, and delayed response time, I refuse to take them. I don’t want to impede my response time, especially because Ava has entrusted me to take care of Joelalone.
I run my fingers through Joel’s hair as we catch our breath, preparing for round two in our game of airplanes. The tips of Joel’s curls are damp from our exhaustive playdate. We haven’t stopped mucking around since Ava left nearly an hour ago. I want to squeeze in every moment I can get. I can’t make up for the time I missed, but I can make the most of the time Ihaveleft.
Joel’s head pops off my chest when the creak of the front door opening sounds through the room. He inhales a quick breath before he pushes off my chest and dashes to the foyer. Ava’s beautiful laugh sounds through my ears when Joel wraps his arms around her thighs and squeezes her tightly, nearly knocking her over. Anyone would swear she has been gone for days, not an hour, from Joel’sreaction.
I scramble off the floor and pace towards them. My long strides slow when I notice a shimmering of wetness on Ava’s reddened cheeks. My eyes dart up to her face, assessing her in careful detail. She has red rims around her eyes and her lips are cracked, clearly displaying she has been crying. After running her fingers through Joel’s hair, fixing his messy curls, she lifts her glimmering eyestomine.
“Are you okay?” I silently mouth, not wanting to alert Joel to herdistress.
She smiles and nods her head. “I’m good,” shewhispers.
The crippling pain in my chest dampens when she playfully winks before crouching down to Joel’s level. After adjusting the collar on his shirt, she asks, “What do you think we should have fordinner?”
Joel’s lips pucker and a serious mask slips over his face. He takes his food selections very seriously. Just like hisfather.
“Because I was thinking we could have….Pancakes,” Ava says, her tone falsely portraying apprehension, like she is concerned Joel may not like hersuggestion.
Joel’s eyes bug out of his head as he jumps into the air. My insides are also bouncing around like a ho on crack, but thankfully, my outward appearance gives no indication of my excitement. I can still recall the horror of the last time Ava made pancakes in this house, so I can’t let my excitement get awayfromme.
“Pancakes! Yay!” Joel squeals in an ear-piercingscream.
Ava laughs. “Do you want to help memakethem?”
Joel eagerly nodshishead.
“Alright, go and wash yourhandsthen.”
I laugh when Joel pivots on his heels and charges down the hall. I swear I’ve never seen the kid walk. My eyes shift from the hall to Ava when she stands from her crouchedposition.
“Do you have any plans tonight?” she asks, staring at me with her uniquelybeautifuleyes.
I smile and shake my head, ignoring the mad beat of myheart.
“Did you want to stay and have some pancakeswithus?”
My brow arches. Even if I missed the hidden innuendo laced in her simple question, I can’t overlook the glimmer in her eyes. Ava’s never been good at hiding her true intentions. She wears her heart on her sleeve, clear as day for all to see. I can also read her like an open book. To strangers it may seem as if she is asking me to stay for dinner, but her eyes are relaying much morethanthat.
She inhales a quick breath when I take a step closer to her, closing the space between us. Her eyes linger on my thrusting chest for several heart-clenching seconds before she tilts her neck back. When her eyes lock in on mine, the shift of air between us is so great, a current of electricity surges through my body, sparking my heart with a renewed hope. Her eyes are exposing that I haven’t lost them yet. That I still have a chance. Not just with Joel, but heraswell.
“I'd love to stay,” I respond, my voice coming out husky, strangled by the flood of emotions hammering me. “But I should warn you. I have a slight obsession withsweetthings. Once I taste them, Ican’tstop.”
The warmth of her breath fans my lips when she expels a large gasp of air, proving she didn’t miss the innuendo in my reply. I stare into her eyes, wanting to ensure she understands I’m not just here for Joel. I want her too. We stand across from each other, staring, but not speaking. The connection between us is as strong as it’s ever been, if not stronger.Joel makes us stronger.I look at the woman I’ve loved from before she even became a woman, my eyes silently expressing the words my mouth is refusing to relinquish.I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Iloveyou.
When I run the back of my fingers down her feverish cheek, removing a tear tracking down it, she nuzzles into my hand. I want to kiss away every tear falling down her beautiful face. I want to fall to my knees and promise I’ll never be the cause of her tears again. But before I get the chance, Joel tugs on the hem of my shirt. I was so mesmerized staring into Ava’s beautiful eyes, I didn’t hear him approaching. He stands between Ava and me with his head rocketing side to side. A smile curves on my mouth when he screws up his noseandgags.
“Girls are gross,” he mumbles, glaring at me withreprimandingeyes.
Who is this kid? I had no clue about girls until I was well into middle school. He is only four and can already read the undeniable connection between Avaandme.
