I watch Hugo slip into a rental car and drive away through the peep hole of my front door. He was adamant he wasn’t going to leave the front porch until he heard the deadbolt click intoplace.
Once his tail lights disappear, I lean my back against the door and inhale a deep breath of air. I’ve known Hugo more than half of my life, and I’ve never seen him be as open as he was tonight. He was rawand unguarded.Honest.Hugo has always been a communicator, but as he matures, his actions are out-speaking his words. The love he displays to Joel…to me, is greater than I could have ever imagined. I’ve always said there is no love greater than a love a mother has for her child. I'm starting to think that saying also applies tofathers.
“Can I have abrother?”
I slant my head to the side and peer down the corridor where the little voice is coming from. Joel is leaning on the wall outside of his bedroom. His eyes are narrowed tightly, and he is yawning. If he didn’t occasionally blink, I would have assumed he wassleepwalking.
“I don’t want a sister. Angie and Katie are soannoying. Please, Mommy, can I please have abrother?”
A grin curls on my lips from the tired slur of his words, making him sound like the little four-year-old he is. I’m not biased when I say Joel is a genius. He speaks well above his age, reads better than any six-year-old I know, and slaughters me anytime we play a game of monopoly. It is only moments like these do I realize his true age. He is a sweet little boy who has confused his nursery rhythms, believing it is the girls made out of snips, snails, and puppy dogtails.
“How about we discuss the possibility of siblings after a few hours of sleep?”And a few glassesofwine.
“Siblings?” Joel mutters, trying on the new wordforsize.
“Siblings is a term for brothers and sisters,” I explain, gathering him inmyarms.
My heart warms when he slings his arms around my neck and nuzzles into my chest. I love Joel more than anything. But it was only when Joel was born did I realize the love you have for your partner is entirely different than the love you have for your child. Although both are as consuming as the other, they are unique and beautiful in theirownway.
When I lay Joel in his bed, his twinkling eyes lift to mine. His brows are stitched together, and his lips are pursed. “Does that mean I can have morethanone?”
“More than one what?” I query, tucking him in nice and firm, ensuring he can’t escape for a third time thisevening.
“Siblings,” he says, rubbing his eyes with his balled fist. “You said ‘siblings’ not ‘sibling.’”
I laugh. There is no greater innocence in the world than the innocence of a child. Not even a twenty-four-year oldvirgin.
I grimace when Joel says, “I want fivebrothers.”
Pressing a kiss onto his forehead, I switch on the lamp on his bedside table before ambling to the door. I’m knackered. Not just physically but emotionally as well. The past week has been a hazy blur of confusion. Hell, the past five years has been one devastating blow after another. But it feels like everything has changed in a matter of hours. My mind tonight is the clearest it has ever been. It is remarkable how much can change in a couple of hours, and how one man can alter my perspective of life sogreatly.
“Mommy,” Joel whimpers when I reachhisdoor.
I crank my neck and lookathim.
“I love daddy,” he whispers through a yawn before cuddling into hispillow.
A vast grin etches on my face. “So do I, sweetheart, so do I,” I mutter tonoone.
.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Hugo
Dumpingmy duffle bag onto the ground, I turn my eyes to Ava and Joel. Joel has his arms wrapped around his mother’s thigh and his big blue eyes are peering up at me, silently pleading for me to stay. I don’t want to leave my family. Leaving them is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But I need to settle the tension between Isaac and me. I want the chance to explain my foolhardy action to him before leaving his empire in an honorable way. I’ve already left one position dishonorably in my life. I’m not going to do it again, especially not with a man of upmost importance to me. Once I’ve settled the dust between Isaac and me, the heavy burden weighing down my shoulders will lift, and I’ll be free to begin a new chapter in my life. A phase surrounded by myfamily.
I’ve spent every waking moment with Ava and Joel the past week, not willing to miss a single minute. The majority of the second half of my week has been spent in a blur of playdates and fatherly duties with Joel while Ava settles into her new practice. But the past two days have been a little more subdued as the countdown to my return to Ravenshoe creeped upon us. Although neither Joel or Ava has verbalized their concerns about me returning to Ravenshoe, I’ve seen a shift in their personas the last two days. I’ll often discover Ava watching my interactions with Joel with a misting of tears in her eyes, and for the past forty eight hours, Joel hasn’t let me leave his side, even going so far as requesting for me to sleep on his bedroomfloor.
A grin tugs on my lips when Ava rolls her eyes as I noogie Joel’s head, messing his curls she just finished wrangling intoorder.
“I’ll see you soon, buddy,” I assure him, crouching down to Joel’slevel.
The heaviness weighing down my chest increases when I spot the little tears pricking in the corners ofhiseyes.
“Yes, Daddy,” he replies, his voice coming out in awhimper.
I wrap my arms around his trembling shoulders and pull him into my chest. The pain in my heart turns lethal when his little sobs sound throughmyears.
